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My Design (She is Bound)

Missing image






My design
is better than I



Both my jealousy and fear
have trapped her there


I fail to finish her
and keep her bound


She does not know yet
but when she's done...




Now you see
why I do not finish her


Others want her
but she is my design


I will not yield her
like my other designs


Every one of them
grew to hate me


So my imperfections
are this design's bane


I would inevitably love her
and painfully lose her- 


I cannot compete
with the other designs.


I may finish her yet
and release her


But not today
I am not strong


By the rings of my shortcomings
she is bound



Author notes


Written July 31st, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Mannequin
    August 6, 2005
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    A very interesting write. Now, knowing me, I'll be sitting around for about half an hour philosophizing (for lack of a better word) about it. It's worth it. This was a very interesting concept. It seems to be a piece about being afraid of your own abilities and the creations that reflect those. Maybe feeling like what you created is so much bigger than what you are. Great write. You always have something to say, don't you?

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    August 4, 2005
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    I have to tell you that I have come across some of your pieces from the featured box and you always intrigue me, this piece is no different. Truly well done and I will most certainly to read more (even when not featured! ) LOL

  • Iktomi
    August 2, 2005
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    Man went too far in his creation. I have noticed a lot of "failed creation" poems for this piece- mine included. It portrays a mind afraid of her own thoughts, abilities, and yet guarding that mind against all intrusion. Very good.


  • wbiro gold member
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for reading, lea, I took another look and 'improved' it somewhat, but my character is still a scoundrel! hugs !


  • leander Moderators member
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I must say, this is a very creative background you made (I wish I thought about that )

    Beautiful how you wrote this poem in first person, bringing the emotions to the front of the entire piece

    Thank you for entering this contest, I wish you the best of luck

    Leander


  • melpomene
    August 1, 2005
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    Wow.. I really loved this. It was amazing. I often feel the same way, to sasy the least. But there's a kind of freedom in it as well. Gee, I saw you around the site alot, but I never took the time to read your works until now, and I must say you rock my socks. I'm keeping you. *marks faves*


  • wbiro gold member
    July 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    same!


  • B2oH
    July 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...bound indeed....by the rings of Saturn and by your Plutonian lust.

    Odd how our emotions bind our visions at times...even to things of beauty.

    Nice interpretation of the image -- best of luck, eh?

1 - 8 of 8