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Opening

I said I was 50 feet,
underneath the ground,
and that I was swirling
in my despair
But no one heard me
A "what's wrong, wanderer"
would have kept the tears
from falling at your expense
Truly, why try anymore?
You are no friend of mine
You are no friend of mine.
You move away when I need you,
When I'm crying to you!
My Brother!
My loved brother...
Why are you gone my friend,
Why are you gone
I close my eyes and I see
Your beautiful smiling face,
But when I open them,
You're not there,
and I'm all alone again

Author notes

I would really appreciate comments on this poem.
Written July 31st, 2005

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Comments


  • NightSkyGirl
    January 3, 2007

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    Very good poem indeed. I think about what it is to expect something from someone only to be disappointed and wonder why I expected something in the first place. You did a very good job. Very sad too.

  • Jenos
    August 23, 2005
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    Amazing.

    Splendid, my friend. Absolutely splendid. The lines were of a style I have not oft used, of unfinished sentences yet coherent and complete thoughts. One thing I am interested in is the brother. Is it a family member, a close person, a loved one, or figurative brother as in a familiar thought or concept? Keep up the wonderful work, my friend.

  • smileygurl
    July 31, 2005
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    Thank you for entering my contest. This is a great poem! I enjoyed reading it! You are very talented!