Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

simple

she was simple
she was alone
she had no place to go
and no one to turn to

she was lost
she had given up
all hope of finding
her way out

she was confused
she did not know way
she was where she is

she was frustrated
because she could not find
anyone to love her

she was just a little girl
lost in this great big world
with no one to love her
so she was lost
for only simple she was

Author notes


Written July 30th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • BeautifulAngelicSin
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great write. Awesome job! Reach for the stars and never stop writting.
    **Shanna**


  • Millie Music
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    great wright

    Dark is the perfect word great write


  • ShadowStalker
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was a dark write. Very simple (lol) but it was in a twisted way. I was expecting a different kind of ending, but yours was much better. Great job and you did an amazing job writing it. I didn't mind the lack of punctuation, it seemed like you were too alone and tired to care...made the overall mood of the poem better in my opinion. Like I said, amazing job and I'm glad I got the chance to read it.

  • godzvayne
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Well, I understand this one, I don't think myself a simpleton, lol. But I got the message without any re reading. I think that the flow in this was pretty good, but I don't like to much how you reused the word "she" so much, it kind of took away the "simple" beauty of the poem. But anywayz, all in all, good poem, keep up the good work.


  • Sashaness
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Not too long, which is good. Your punctuation is something that needs to be discussed, however I will not be the one discussing it. You conveyed feelings of lonelyness well. Well done.

1 - 5 of 5