Beneath the moon, we danced all night
A night of wonder, sheer delight
Alas the daylight came too soon
We danced all night beneath the moon
The crickets played a lovely song
My gal and I, we sang along
Our true happiness we displayed
A lovely song the crickets played
As dawn drew near, the moon did smile
I'll leave you for a little while
When twilight comes I will be here
The moon did smile as dawn drew near.
Author notes
Prpmpt.Moon.
Swap Quatrain.One or more quatrains where the first and last lines are swapped (reversed).The rhyme scheme is aabb ccdd etc.It also could be aabb aabb etc.
Written July 30th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything Goes. by BurnBrandMemory.
350 points, ended November 20, 2006, 78 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2nd Contest of Anything by fallen-leaf.
450 points, ended January 1, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you deserve it? by Ilitilian.
775 points, ended January 16, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Poetry Contest by Kari.
480 points, ended January 27, 2007, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Get Gold This Time For Your Rhyme by piccola.
400 points, ended April 22, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Poetry Contest by Heavens Child.
800 points, ended April 29, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Moody Blues by Jasmine Rayne.
600 points, ended August 18, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BEAUTIFUL IMAGERY by Rhythm Child.
550 points, ended November 19, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Swap Poems by Mercury Rising.
850 points, ended June 24, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 Options {Pre-writes aloud} by Little Lesley.
700 points, ended August 28, 109 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie # 27 of 37! More Prewrites lol...Only 10 to go to reach 100!!! by Beautiful-N-Broken.
460 points, ended November 22, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Oh wow, I really like this and I love the form you used, I couldn't write like that if I had to lol. Thanks for this wonderful entry and good luck in the contest and in all you do.
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I loved your rhyme! It's great. It's lovely.
Good luck!
♥~Little Lesley~♥ -
A lovely and lyrical and lilting Swap Quatrain poem that was a delight to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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Very pretty.
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A great entry
thanks for taking part, wishing you luck would be an insult to your talent
so take care
message me for anything
Billy (Rhythm Child) -
Such a pretty poem. ^_^
"Beneath the moon, we danced all night
A night of wonder, sheer delight
Alas the daylight came too soon
We danced all night beneath the moon"
I love how the ending and beginning lines are the same, but not quite.
Very cool. I feel like I'm dancing beneath the moon. This poem makes me feel like I'm having a lot of fun lol
"When twilight comes I will be here
The moon did smile as dawn drew near."
Such a beautiful and tranquil ending. I adored this poem. ^_^ Thanks for entering.
-Lily♥ -
I love quatrains, you've written this very well. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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this is beautiful. I really like the style and was moved to sigh as I finished. Images filled my mind with wonder too. Thank you for entering.
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Sorry, but there two rules for the contest: no rhyme and no cliche, and you violated both of them.
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Awwwwww this put a big smile on my face..soo very nice. I loved it. The best of luck to you in the contest.
Kari -
Oh, this is so pretty. It illustrates a lovely image in the mind as you read it, and flow so sweetly. I am smiling with the moon as I read this. Just lovely my dear.
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Lovely.
Aw. This is a wonderful and sweet poem. Lovely. I truly liked reading this poem, it expressed the emotions very clearly. Well good luck in this contest. And thanks for entering. -
Wonderfully uplifting, thank you for entering
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Delightful piece! I love quatrains but have never tried them out myself. This write is truly wonderful and so simplistic. You have taken the ordinary and let it blossom into a captivating and complex vision. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
~Lori~ -
this is beautiful. i love it and i definately love the imagery. great job.
thanks for entering and good luck.
<3 Catherine -
beautiful
Very nice writing...I would love to dance under the moon....you are a great writer.... -
i do like this form as you know, i still haven't tried my hand on it yet though, so many new forms for me to try, yet haven't so far. you do this well
thank you for your entry into my prewrite contest. i wish you the best of luck. when i have commented on all the entries i will make my decision. i always make notes as i go along in a file so the judging process will not take too long.
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such a good lovely piece...Thanks for entering my contest much love from Miss. Raneika
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This was really cute and dancy! I LIKE DANCIN! WHOO! Anyway, this flowed really well and I liked reading it! Now I wanna dance, but I am afraid of crickets! AHHH! Oh well, this was hot! nice job!
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Loved it!
Loved it! I can picture what you're writing and that's cool! -
Nicely Done.love it!
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Amazing, I love poems that have to do with dancing. And if there is dancing and love together in a poem, well I'll love it anymore! Lovely poem, enjoyed reading it. Thank you for entering.
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Such a beautiful write...I loved the flow and the way you mixed love with nature, a beautiful idea indeed. This piece is a very captivating and romantic piece. Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck. Don't forget to comment on 2 other contestants will you...
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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Oh so beautifuly written it was like you was waltzing with the one you loved in happiness so lovely wonderful.... Sherry
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I loved this poem and I have the perfect picture for it!! I'm a country girl who is currently confined to the city, and the one thing I miss most is the sound of crickets and bullfrogs. Until I read this I did not know what a quatrain was. I learn something new everyday. Thanks for sharing. I think I shall give you applause!!!!!!!!!!!
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I liked: that this was a very technically proficient poem. There's lots of great rhymes in here, and the metre in flawless. Well done.
I disliked: that this poem was a little too consistent. There wasn't that much variation in here. I guess that's because I have taste for the more adventurous. -
im not very familar with this type of writing style but i will say that this write is very good and i liked how it rhymed without skipping a beat;flowness was just amazingly well done
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I liked this flow
it was uplifting in the beat of the words
And a perfect ending you made me smile
As dawn drew near, the moon did smile
I'll leave you for a little while
When twilight comes I will be here
The moon did smile as dawn drew near.
well done
FrozenTears
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I really liked this, the flow was lilting and wonderfully done. The only part in it that made me stumble slightly was in the second stanza, third line. Just a slight trip that made me have to read it once more. But it does nothing to tarnish the overall great imagery and flow of the poem. You did really good with this. Kept it simple, not too long, but expressed your meaning through all the words.
As dawn drew near, the moon did smile
I'll leave you for a little while
When twilight comes I will be here
The moon did smile as dawn drew near.
Nicely Done.
~WindsAngel~ -
woooooow this is really good work! i loved the text you used and everyhthing about the poem! it is really good! the way that you used the night fading into the dawn was very neat...i liked that...that's my favorite time of day...that and sunset! lol sunsets rock! but still this is really good ! keep up the exellent work! great write!
sweetgirl16
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Heh, I thought you were talking about ME for a moment, my screnname being Moondance and all... which I'm changing soon I hope, it's getting a bit old. =D This was a bit short but I liked it a lot... "The moon did smile as dawn drew near." Wonderful work...
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