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Breathe




I need to get out of here
greet a grey Sunday morning like the
goddess that I am
and
stop taking in stale air like poison

Yeah, I need to start anew
life somewhere oxygen grows wild
Where carnations can replace the cigarettes
that dangle from my fingertips
and subway exhalations aren't perfume

I want a place to see the sun and
taste the rain and
touch the earth and
breathe
Somewhere the air will fill my lungs



Author notes

Ishck. The ending's off, I think.
Written July 30th, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • HunteroftheDusk
    November 14, 2005
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    alsome poem. I love how you showed just how suffercating the city life can be something I don't think of much. Anyways great poem. Anne thinks it rox.


  • chat noir
    October 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i think the ending might be 'off' cause the beat of it changes so much from the rest of the poem. also, to make a nice closing, maybe bring elements from the v. beginning into the end? but i usually do that with longer pieces, so maybe that won't work. but still, i looooved the first two stanzas, you're right, i think, about the last one being a bit iffy.

  • RebelRikki
    July 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness! I completely forgot that was a reference to you! Should I ask if it's okay to use that?

    Yeah. So your scent inspires me.

  • Cryptic One
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Subway exhalations, eh? Well, it's kooky alright. You've got a style, just don't rot in it.


  • July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    great poem, and so very true, great write.

  • OurxBeginning
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I think it's excellent..I love the nature!!...wonderful job

1 - 6 of 6