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thoughts

Unspoken thoughts
it had never existed
no one could imagine
a line of thought
at odd moments
to keep body and mind
riches and joys
and with one mistake
everything came to an end
with Unspoken thoughts.

Author notes


Written July 28th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • kennethlaney
    July 6, 2007

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    Perfect

    Well metered and paused at the right places for the fullest effect! Great job. Why did you change from that style?


  • William Gray
    July 29, 2005
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    great job on this... i should mention that unspoken is one word but other than that it was awesome!!!!! keep writting ill keep reading
    ~SEXY

  • swanpool
    July 29, 2005
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    A powerful poem, though short it gets its message accross loud and clear.Well done.


  • gaeta-mob
    July 28, 2005
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    My un-spoken thoughts have driven me crazy already.
    There is really no way to escape your own head. Always thinking always plotting your own destruction. Even when trying to focus on something as simple as commenting, my thoughts are brought right back to something i'd rather forget. But since their unspoken im forever in their dept.

    Great write!

    x Jen


  • BeautifulChaos
    July 28, 2005
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    It's a good base. Unspoken is one word, though. And in the fourth line, you forgot the t on the end of "thought". Just typographical errors like that...Otherwise, very nice.


  • TripleGoddess
    July 28, 2005
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    This is very true. You have to speak what is on your mind if you want things to survive. Short and sweet. Just the way I like it.

  • Alissa Ann
    July 28, 2005
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    Unspoken thoughts. I love it. Those are the worst aren't they? Because they never go away. The build up and build up until you want to let them out, but then it's to late and you're only left with what-if?'s. Well, that's what Unspoken thoughts means to me. This seems like a very personal poem as there's not much explanation, but I'm sure all of it is very deep, meaningful, and significant to you. So many of my poems are like that. I have no suggestions other than on the 4th line:

    "a line of though" (though should be THOUGHT) correct? Just a typo, but figured I'd point it out just the same.

    Thanks for sharing this! Take care and keep writing!

    --Alissa

  • yellowjacket04
    July 28, 2005
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    I really liked this poem. I liked how you began and ended the poem with the same words. The poem is very honest to me. Keep up the wonderful work and I look forward to reading more.

1 - 8 of 8