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Roses Are Dead, Violets Are Blue

Black Petals.
Crisp leaves.
This isnt the way
its supposed to be.

A dead rose.
Is that all I deserve?
I thought it was love.
You've got some nerve.

It falls out of my hand
and falls on the floor.
This emotion I'm feeling,
lust, hate, or more?

I go to bed,
these feelings--too deep.
And remembrences of your voices
lull me to sleep.

The next day I see you,
You walk up to me.
"Did you Get your flower?"
You ask, happily.

Why are you happy?
I hate you, you jerk.
But inside my heart,
*true* feelings lurk.

Something unexpected,
a pleasant surprise.
Are you kidding me?
Are you full of lies?

You hug me, so happy.
Surprised, yes, I am.
"I loved it" I said
"not too big, not too glam"

 


Author notes

Something along the lines of:
"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"

A rose is beautiful. A dead rose can be too, and it might be even more beautiful to someone Emo, or Gothic. Just a little insight.
Written July 28th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • flipflopinTM
    August 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow i really like it alot L hehehe, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
    T

  • Raist
    August 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I have to ageree with the comment a couple above me the style is simple and does seem stressed in places but that aside I like the twist you give the poem with a simple message being given that is misunderstood as least temporarily by the recipient forcing the giver to clarify.


  • ScreamedConfessions
    August 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    **is speechless**


  • EmilyAr
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Your writing style bothers me a little, it seems a bit superficial with the way in which you rhyme, and your word choice. However, I like your ending as well as the message you give. It is good that the girl relizes that beauty is what you make it, and in the eyes of the beholder. Also, I like the idea that she see's that there is beauty in even something most would consider ugly. A great poem over all, nice job.
    -Emily


  • -throw it up
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem.. i really do.


  • choke-on-the-truth
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow that was really good..almost made me cry (and thats hard to do lol) i really like the title too


  • Yorworstnightmare
    August 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    WOW THAT WAS A SURPRISE!!!! That's good that he didn't brake up with you like you thought was going to happen !
    pita bread


  • August 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    sexyhness!

    I like it,liz!


  • Shadow Keeper
    July 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hey, a very interesting write indeed. I was expecting a different ending, but I liked this one because of it's real originality. Good choice of words and good rhyming as well. I must say though, it was actually the title that drew me to reading this poem. Awesome job with this, I enjoyed reading it!


  • JustAnotherGirl
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for being so positive! At first, I thought someone might think the title was corny, even though I love it! Thanks again!
    ~!~JAG~!~


  • James R
    July 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this writeso much mixed emotion. Is he telling the truth on how he feels? how dose yourself feel. the flow for this was pervect and the wording was like wise. Great write here.


  • La Dama del Ayer
    July 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, its so true its the thought that counts, and we should be happy with it. GREAT WRITE!!!!
    I really enjoy reading this cause its just so adorable, and well u have so much talent, so keep writing chica
    love ya sooo much
    keep the latin pride goin
    ~*BB*~


  • Paint this Town Red
    July 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is very pretty.. and i like the adaptation of roses are red, voilets are blue.. nice poem, good one x


  • gaeta-mob
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the way you wrote this. So elegant and swift. And the ending had that suprising twist. I want to also thank you on the comment you made to my 'betrayed' poem. Your words really made a difference to me. They helped me to see somethings that i didn't think of. i appreciate it very much and since i really like your work, Im favoriting you. I'm kinda new here as well.. so I guess i might not make any sense. I've had this thing for so long, just never new how to use it or that there was so much.
    Anyway i'll kill my rant now. Great write!

    X Jen


  • zt
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes we forget that it really is the thought that counts. Would it have made a difference if he'd picked the flower on the way to school, kept it with him throughout the long hot summer's day, and finally left it for you on your porch where the warm concrete dried it even further? It could have been this thoughtful gesture that was misunderstood. Glad you were gracious in your response. Nice poem too, by the way...
    Edited on Oct 17, 2:22 p.m. because ''.


  • Julie Eke
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    critical

    wow, quite an interesting twist there at the end, I did enjoy reading this one. Beauty is seen by many in many different ways, I like how you expressed that here. Great job


  • Malabu
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wowwie, such poetic poise leaves me to think as I ponder these words my heart now sink. Let all this love fall to the feet. Pick it all up and in your heart so you keep. Very beautiful words to interpret the dance of ones heart needing much more in return. I love your beautiful writing very much. I think I will read more of your stuffings....im hungry now.
    Malabu


  • red rain
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Cute, sweet, nice, and well written. Great job!


  • shattered-dreams-xx
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    iloved this poem it was os good! i love the ryhmescheme and the word choice. also you had an excellent story line! keep it up!
    x0x <3 Casey x0x

  • angelic alx
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    crazy, you never gave me flowers.

  • Carissa
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece .. your rhyme flowed nicely without it sounding like you were trying too hard which makes your write flow beautifully. Never thought recieving a dead rose would be nice but your poem definetly gives me something to ponder upon Good Job!!


  • July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. You used rhyme in a great way and very descriptive. keep it up. xox Candy Kiss


  • ICULookn
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great write! Roses are beautiful at any point. they serve a gift when alive well as when death befalls them. I like the author's comment "Beauty is in theeyes of the nbeholder" it is so true!

    ICUlookn


  • Gendatalia
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. I loved this piece. To one dark writer to another, it has been a pleasure to read. Well done on your rhyming and rhythm techniques, it worked to perfection
    Take care and I hope you get all the feedback you desire
    xxx

1 - 24 of 24