I become -
My mind overpowers;
Remember me.
I hurt -
My pain pierces;
Heal me.
I understand –
My tears calm;
Love me.
I regret -
My memories taunt;
Protect me.
I vanish -
My world ignores;
Forget me.
Author notes
This kind of takes you through what I think are the different stages of feelings when you are alone.. this is specific to a certain kind of lonliness, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Thanks for reading.
Written July 27th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Lonliness
Its so hard sometimes to go through life, having a lot of people around and no one to actually be able to talk to. For me thats usually the case.. but this poem, is so awesome seriously, I mean everything seems to fit so well together, to have so much feeling and thought put into it, I guess its just a natural feeling. Lonliness sucks no matter what kind it is. I hope you never feel alone in your life!
Malzy -
This is good
I like it it is suttle but very powerful.
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wow! truly amazing. i am a fellow canuck, and have you on my fav. list, you rock!!!
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I love this poem! I really like the style, and how even though the verses are short, you can really get what they mean. AND I relate to it, so...WOO! Good job! ^_~
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fantastic!
The style of this poem is fabulous! I can really feel your emotions coming our in this poem! Your transitioning was very well done too. Excellent work! xoxoxox
love/molly -
I like it... It seemed to shift through phases of emotions and circumstances and yet it did so beautifully and smoothly... very good very painful very full write.
AC -
Awesome!
Awesome write! I felt the feeling of lonliness in this piece. We all feel alone at different times in our lives. This was a great example of the feeling one gets from being alone or even feeling it when times are tough
Nicely penned! Keep it up and thanks for sharing
James -
wow! this is really good!! i love it! lots of emotion is seen in the words of this poem! i love it!
awsome write
jps missy -
Very touching!
You convey a lot of emotion in few words. Excellent poem. Sue -
A wonderful simple and clear effect. Minimalist. It's clarity and sense of direction form, give it a real emotional impact that a lot of more drawn out poems just don't have.
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i love the run of emotions for a short poem. great write
chery -
Very well structured, and it says a lot without using a lot of words. Very emotion provoking. Keep up the great work.
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This narrator definitely sounds avandoned! Great job at conveying emotion. I like the form and conciseness of each stanza, it's something you don't see often. Good job, and keep up the great work! I also love your screenname, is there an inside joke around it or something?
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wow ... that was very well written!!! I love how your very able to capture the right emotions... From the first stage to the last i have felt before so i really do understand... i also love how you kept a really good flow through out it ... great job!!!!!!!
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very powerfull
Sad, emotional with depth of power and very well written
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wow that's a wonderful piece. it's so simple and so powerful. Dose sound like the thoughts and feelings that ones goes though in lonlyness great job capturing it all blessed be ~calentice~
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wiggy!
there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. A great deal of emotion in such few words, but they come across with the force of a pipe bomb in an air vent; instead of confining the strength, it increases it. Excellent work. -
this is good, and i can relate to it too.. idk. short, and to the point..
great write
-broken- -
Yes, I see what you were trying to do with the minimulist approach. It's always good to try new things, isn't it? But here's another thought, when you use minimulist technique, you're left with the massive responsible of putting ten tons of meaning into so few words, almost like Haiku. So perhaps some more complex words with specific importatance, or imagery that furthers your idea, could really give this the a jump. Just a thought.
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Sometimes you don't need a lot of filler when the words spoken are so poignant and thought provoking. I think you have done a marvelous job here of bringing out the very depth and power of emotion.
♥ Kimberly -
Well, even though there were only 1 or 2 words per line and the poem was pretty short, it was still pretty powerful and I could feel all the emotion. And you're right, it does take you through all the steps you feel when you're alone..trust me, I know this. This was an amazing pieces and I loved it. Keep up the great work!
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wow a powerfu; and domineering write with flare and passion...well done with this xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Wow is all that I can say. I loved the emotion, great piece.
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I agree with a lot of the other commenters. The depth and power of this piece is remarkable. I love the emotion buried beneath your lines. Great job on this.
Kat -
Well who could forget someone like you now, who writes with such depth and emotion? Never. I hope you do not feel this way truly, but I know poets, and I know we write what we feel or what we experience within someone else's feeling. A great piece of writing!
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I know not who
Has written this poem
It seems well done
It can stand alone.
When I was younger
I felt like that
And as I grow
Memories bring me back.
So your piece is
Something really special, great
For it is universal
And that I congradulate.
Peace AT
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i liked this. i liked the format that you used. the way you started each stanza with something that you do or are and then went on to describe it. short yet powerful. good work
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Great! :)
So short but so strong. It didn't need to be any longer. Didnt need anything more. This is a wonderful write! Thankyou for sharing it
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This is a fine poem, I especially love the style in which it is written. I think the short consise way that this poem waswritten give much weight to it.
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wow... I like this!
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Wow! This deserves an applause! It's so amazing! I love how you started every verse with a new emotion and ended it so nicely. The ending was spectacular! Great write, I will add this to my favorites!
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I think everyone can relate to being forgotten at one time in their lives or another. Whether they were actually forgotten or just felt alone in this world. It's always great to come across a poem that everyone can relate to. You go from being remembered to being forgotten - the stages of loneliness. Awesome job
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Very nice poem. It describes so well what you feel with just one or two words. Short and simple. Short and powerful. Short and strong. We wait for more...
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Oh my word! This is one of the best poems I've read all day! It's so beautiful, so sad, so eloquent! And I think everyone can relate. There are no words to express your talent. Excelent job!
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As usual, thought provoking, precise and perceptive. You never disappoint. Not many words there but so much said. Great job (I say that a lot don't I - but it's so true)!
Paul -
hey hun! i love this poem, i can DEFINITELY relate to it. i love the last stanza where you say my world ignores. thats such a powerful way of saying exactly how i'm feeling! anyways, keep up the awesome work i love reading your stuff! love ya tonz!
Cate
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