Yellow beauty scrawls
verse into my head, each black
and white note pressed
Into my iris
blind from eyelid - sunpunctured
red and black - but no
I cannot own a
yellow concerto in
my mind's tired eye.
Author notes
Written July 26th, 2005
A contest entry
- Succint Profundity by Alces Linguista.
300 points, ended August 4, 2005, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I'm so glad someone really understands this. Thank you.
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So many levels...
For me, it sums up perfectly the ache of music that forever stands beyond the skill of my pen, the power of my imagination and any hope of truly communicating soul to soul.
But that's just me...
A beautiful, beautiful write.
Best,
p -
I like this poem a lot, and I can relate to the color metaphor in an interesting way because I'm synaesthetic... I would imagine a piano concerto as maroon, which makes it a very different point of view. As far as the message, I understand greatly... sometimes you just can't quite piece together what you're trying to create.
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I understand your meaning here, for even Mozart needed rest.
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super sweet
mean comments suck. i really like this one. don't worry sammy it's very expressive. u just have to have an imagination... *coughs at words4u* -
I'm sorry, but who are you to judge what my best is? Have you read any of my other poems? And if you're going to leave a comment like that, at least leave behind some instruction. What could I have changed? Vocabulary? Structure? Length? What line sucked? What did you hate?
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You have certainly lived up to the spirit of this contest. It's certainly beautiful without being overly expressive. Great job on this and good luck in the contest.
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okay
words provide kind of a picture but this isn't the best u can do
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