I live my life,
I go through the same old shit,
and I just take it.
My smile is a phony one.....
FAKE!!!!!!
Hear me?
I'm not happy like you think I am.
I cry every night.
My heart bleeds inside my body.
I smile to the world,
but behind it,
I'm screaming,
sobbing,
wishing for something else.
I can't take it anymore,
this false life that I live.
I can't keep smiling,
because I know I will break,
and take down the source of my pain with me.
My smile is fading now.
Every day,
after all the bullshit I get fed,
it fades.......
slowly,
but definitely.
It will be gone soon,
and in it's place,
will be the one I am inside.
Tears will be forever a number one,
and heartbreak will reign forever.
This mask of mine,
the deceit I feed the world,
has to end.
Oh,
there is goes.
Author notes
Written July 23rd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Great
This is a really good poem, I like it 'cuz I can relate. I know how you feel when it seems you can't tell anyone how much you are hurting deep inside because they won't understand or care. I just pretend everythings ok, when half the time its not, and I feel I cant even talk to my bff or my bf. There is a lot of emotion in this piece and I like the flow. I'll wish for world peace! (Gracie Lou Freebush) -
Major deja vu here.
This reminds me precisely of how I was feeling back in 9th grade. Your reflection on having a mask and being fake hits so close to home - those were my exact words two/three years ago. Looks like I am not alone, however: you and many other people, by the looks of it, seem to have the exact same feelings.
The good news is: you get over it - eventually. (I don't know: is it good news for you?) By the time I was half-way through my next year of highschool I was starting to get some sense in me. I like to think of myself as fully recovered from the transition into highschool, but really, deep down, I'm just an immature brat.
The bad news is: a. it's not over yet and b. when you look back on this period of your life, if you're anything like me you'll be embarrassed. Tee hee.
Lovely poem you have here, though. It really gets to the heart of the matter and resonates with the confusion and anguish you are feeling. The only thing I might suggest is to take away some of those exclaimation points: if you can't say it with one you can't say it with several. As another little note, an ellipsis (the dot dot dot) is three dots: [...] But people abuse that rule all the time anyway.
Nice job here. You conveyed a lot of emotion and took me back to the days of my (ahem) youth.
Thumbs up.
Edited on Aug 17, 4:29 because ''highwchool'?'. -
wow, great job, thats how i feel sometimes
~dani~ -
Excellent work!
Clara, Hopefully when the mask is totally gone you will realize you did not need it. You let your feelings out and that is a good way to help overcome the pain and heartbreak you feel inside. This is very sad but lovely. I wish you all the best. 
Joyce (sunny day)
-
ommfg! i love this...i feel the exact same way love it!! ~later much~amy~
-
i know how you feel....and i know how it is with putting on a mask and smiling to everyone so they think its all ok...im the same way...im always screaming inside and no one has any clue about what im all about....great poem i can really realate...
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
3 old applause
