Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Desperation (Skilfully Edited To A Minimal Number Of Bejewelled Words Of Wisdom)

I stare in the mirror fearfully
And raw horror looks back without mercy;
The years have destroyed me utterly
And I am left alone like a leper.

I look forward to nothing much
Except further rack and ruin;
Only constant urgent masturbation
And superhuman alcoholic indulgence

Keep me S* *M* *I* *L* *I* *N* *G nowadays.

Author notes

To continue on the theme of depression and alcoholism, go to www.allpoetry.com/poem/1397475 or to read something dangerously unpleasant try www.allpoetry.com/poem/1389957 .
Written July 23rd, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Anna Kay
    November 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You have this easygoing style mixed with a good portion of brutal honesty which I find fresh, cool and adorable. I found this poem sad, but it was also amusing and actually left me grinning (like a fool, thank god there's no mirror near) - both at the same time, that's actually quite remarkable.

    Another interesting poem...me like!


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    September 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I'm afraid I relate a bit too much to this one Edna, nothing beats a good bejewelling to add that touch of class. Very nice, both extremely sad and wildly humourous. -Al


  • Ms Raneika
    August 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    another interesting write to read the end wraps it up quite questioning 0-o thanks again for entering my contest much love Raneika


  • natari gold member
    July 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply


  • bachelorette silver member
    July 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    "This degeneration, mental masturbation."---Placebo "You Don't Care About Us"

    This song just popped into my head after I read line 3 of your second stanza. Now it won't leave. Lines 1 and 4 I think could do with some editing, something that would be on par with the rest of the poem. Love what you did with "smiling"; it added a lot of character (sarcasm) to the piece. Well done.

    -K

  • juscallmebarbie
    July 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm...this one is sad to me. It seems to speak "another day, another life wasted". You did a good job portraying the devastation of a human life. Best wishes in the contest!


  • Robbwindow
    July 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I love your enthusiasm in this piece.
    Am sure when inbetween masturbating and boozing you will find the time to write more wacky poetry.
    You shloud be on stage crackin your gags, I always laugh.
    It fill's the void.

  • AJ Morelli gold member
    July 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I am almost ashamed to say how much I relate to this piece, brutal honesty mixed with mild desperation. "Rack and ruin", Very nice work Edna. -Al
    Edited on Jul 25, 11:23 because ''.


  • Emerald13
    July 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    outrageously honest ... keep smiling and avoid rack and ruin >>> EM

1 - 9 of 9