They have been among us
for some time now
You could have passed
any of them in the street...
Discrete, impassively waiting,
they flex an occasional muscle
independantly devastating
a portion of humanity
communicating transcendentantly
to apportion synchronicity
each one having wrought
a limited, controlled vengeance
without thought of consequence
cold, purposeful malevolence
Preying on the meek
playing on the weakness
of the lowest of mankind
to further bind a vile finality
- reality is that at a chosen sign
will commence our soul's destruction
Our sole defence is to combine
the forces of collective compassion
to pit the milk of human kindness
against mounted apocalyptic horses
and enemies of man, long recounted...
War
Pestilence
Famine
Death
Author notes
Option 4
Written July 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - Dark Writes Welcome by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended July 26, 2005, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tales from the End by Girl Mad As Birds.
450 points, ended October 28, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Soul Killers and Salt Pillars by Loki.
1650 points, ended January 3, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Interesting concept. I enjoyed the personification of the Four Horsemen, a commonly accepted theme of the end of the world. My only nit would be the double use of weak and weakness in the third stanza. Perhaps one or the other could be substituted with a synonym?
In any case, thank you for your entry & good luck in the contest -
Beautiful piece! I love that atmosphere of this poem, the dark suggestions all through it until it reaches the reveal at the end. Wonderul.
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Powerful, this is very dark and uses stunning vocabulary. The ending in particular is effective, stating the four horses in a way which truly grabs the reader. It wasn't quite linked to the competition theme, however, I thought. But a great poem nonetheless
Good luck!
x -
For horse men are here
The world is there, the four horse men ride. I like how you get a person hooked into the poem, wanting to read more and then you lead them right to the four horse men at the end. Making it a treat to read.
Good luck -
Intriguing
I like how you hinted at your subjects in a less than subtle fashion and then confirmed it at the end.
The thought of the Four Horsemen being amongst us already is creepy in it's own right, although you were most likely using them to symbolize what they represent.
I'm rambling, all in all it's a very effective poem.
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Very dark and atmospheric..... the hidden evils in society..... great piece, wonderful imagery. Thank you for the entry
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thanks for entering! i love the title. good luck!
~Kelcey -
Powerful and oh so dark... this is a chilling account of the 4 horsemen...and I dont mean the linemen for Notre Dame. lol
Very well written
Larry -
Powerful piece! It drags up into it, poking you in the chest. Very well crafted indeed! Excellent. Gypsy
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Your skill becomes increasingly evident with each poem I read! The way you personified the Four Horsemen, showing how close they are to humanity, walking beside us all, while at the same time reminding the reader that they are deified ideas and therefore eternally removed and remote from us; shows not only an engaging and spectacular insight, but also your ability to execute this ingenious view in a precise, and masterful manner. The use of alliteration and word-play (I especially liked soul/sole) was an effective way to carry the reader along, and the similar sounding/looking line endings did the same. They also gave an impression of rhyming without making the non-rhyming lines seem awkward, and so made the poem visually pleasing. I could go on, but to summarize: a masterful work that was brilliantly written from a perspective both wise and encompassing. A wonderful message and a wonderful poem. Good luck in the contest!
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this is a very deep and interesting write that has both truth and understanding embedded within the words themselves good luck in the contest
love and light
blaze -
I watched the news last evening about the events in Niger and the likelihood of failing crops all too soon, babies dying from hunger ~ I wept. I have not looked at the pictures that accompany this contest... but your poem moved me to think of the pictures I saw on the BBC last night and the power of those last four words stirred me to anger.
This is a moving poem, written with skill and compassion. Where is the world community?
thank you for sharing this poem ~ i will not give a literary critique ~ I just know it has great power
elaine
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Interesting words. They have captured the images as well as what you would like to say about them. Tony.
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I am so very sorry that I have not been around more and I have missed so much, so I will indeed be back. That being said, this piece was phenomenal, truly powerful and poignant with a deeper layer and understanding. Your form and your wording (as well as imagery) are outstanding!
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Excellent
A powerful poem my friend.The write expresses the destruction well.The imagery is raw too.Helen
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