I've spent some time
suppressing this rhyme
swallowing all these words
scared if they were recorded, heard
and recognized by my own eyes,
I'd have to face myself
now with this vocabulary induced indigestion
I'm ready to purge this fuckin hurt
stemmed by rejection, depression and lonely infused indiscretions
time and again I still haven't learned my lesson
I'm drawn in by the sin of skin
I'd fuck a stranger out of sheer sadness and anger
to drown out the weak fuckin romantic within
now don't misconstrue the situation
the problem isn't the unadulterated fornication or numerous lovers
and it's not mixing up the two L words with one another
because in my eyes, one has nothing to do with the other
but to that fucked up, angry girl that hides
in the rotted space of my chest where my "heart" resides
lust is just the cheap imitation, a generic medication for love
now I'm feeling some pain
because of the cute boy with the one letter name
I should've seen he was the same
as all the others and kept him away
but I fell for him
I'd been cold so long, I'd forgotten why feeling felt so..bad
and why I'd resorted to the lonely loveless life on my back
Maybe it sounds worse than it is
because I'm fuckin pissed (!)
and my stubbornness won't let me cry for that goddamn man
so in our familiar silence
I wrap my legs around indifference
just to be in his presence
because I can't ever bring myself to say goodbye
instead I ignore, avoid and put shit out of my mind
make it so people don't exist
but that's exactly why I'm like THIS
hellos are always a few kisses shy of goodbyes
and no one knows how this thought tortures me inside
trying to decide between the lesser of two hurts
constantly questioning what is worse;
heartbroken or heartless?
and it's kind of sad I have to ask
but all I have is past experience telling me
those "loving feelings", they just don't last
Author notes
I have lots to say but I couldn't tie it all into this piece, I was kind of on overload with just this
Written July 22nd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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trying to decide between the lesser of two hurts
constantly questioning what is worse;
heartbroken or heartless?
and it's not mixing up the two L words with one another
because in my eyes, one has nothing to do with the other
hellos are always a few kisses shy of goodbyes
so in our familiar silence
I wrap my legs around indifference
just to be in his presence
great lines, great rhymes, this is seriously like a work of art...truly one the better poems ive read on here in a WHILE...its been 3 years girl write some more shit, ur fuckin awesome.... seriously, i love this and i hope some of the sadness has faded over the yrs... great job, come back
~~lith
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WOW
Tiff, that was intense. Really raw and open. I'm sorry for your sadness. I know how it can be to hurt, and writing is a great way of sorting through feelings. I can only imagine what drove this piece from out of you and onto the screen.
This resonates with pain and loss. You did a wonderful job of just letting go and making it real.
Take care,
K
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Wow, that was just... amazing. You've got such a way with expressing the feelings most of us keep surpressed. Brilliantly penned, and so full of raw emotion. I am sorry that you feel this way, though.
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damn...this was tight...lotta good symbolism in there... great rhyme...i haven't seen a girl who can flow in and out of rhyme like this ...EVER
very nice work...and the message is sad but makes u think
good shit
~~gfox -
sometimes those experiences rise within those paths we all choose. yes... they cause pain. but sometimes hardest lessons we learn hit us when we least expect them.
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
Edited on Aug 28, 1:26 p.m. because ''. -
great
That was an amazing peice. I'm sorry but love is an illusion as I have come to know it, and it seems like you have too. -
Good write
Well this conveys emotion of torment and pain, very well. My favorite line 'hellos are a few kisses shy of goodbyes'......sends a shiver through you. The conflicting and confusing emotions of lust/love........is there really a line of distinction. Both are four letter words whose definitions could swap, absent a word or two. -
This is a very powerful poem, very emotional. It seems a bit angsty, and although in general that's bad, in your case it doesn't hurt you. The poem has great flow and a very dark style. Your word choice is great for the most part, however, if you cut some of the cursing out it may help the writing. I know it's there for impact, but by the third time, it's bit much. Good luck with future endevors, and a great job on this write.
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AMAZING READING!
BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Just came back from watching the Wedding Crashers, then I read this. Two good things happening tonight!
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amazing
No lie, it made me tear mostly beacause i could relate to everything you wrote in that poem. I applaud you for being able to put that in words and hit the exact emotions being felt.Welocome to my favorites. -
Brilliant
What Tom said
and I'm married so the first part wouldn't apply
emotions on fire is what I felt
Peace Muddy -
Amazing
Girl, I'm not just saying this because I want to fuck you, but for anybody to read this and not applaud it, then tell you that you're a poetry god, is just completely unheard of. This is by far my favorite by you, and among my favorite reads ever, if not on top. I know you pretty well, so this may make more sense to me than the average reader, but nonetheless, this is poetic brilliance, from any somewhat intelligent set of eyes... Amazing -
Excellent
Wow. I am trying to think of the words and right now I am having a bit of a problem. Wow!
The piece itself was stunning. I seriously loved the overall flow and the imagery inspired by it. Well, I should say, the image of this fiery passionate woman (presumably you)give us all a heads up on the "mixing up the two L words with one another." The "random" exclamation point caught my eye and heart for some reason. It was kind of like "hey I am yelling and very serious here." I don't know - I just loved it. Your words made the passion, pain, anger and frustration behind the situation come alive - as, I believe, it will even to those that may not have experienced some form of what you write.
On another note - still wow! Wow that you are going through this and wow that you have managed to maintain your sanity. Over all wow that you were able to finally allow yourself to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and let your feelings speak. That you could so blattantly share this experience says a lot for your strength of self.
Thank you for being the strong you and for sharing your words.
~JayLynn
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