I may have not had you to raise,
But I was marked with your existence in me.
I haven't had the experience of raising a child,
But the day I had the operation.. it left a part of you in me.
I love you as much as if you were alive.
Knowing the fact of there being some part of me I can give to another,
Is what gives me another chance to create another child like you.
I am sorry that your mommy let you go,
But that doesn't make me a bad person.
I am sorry that your mommy didn't want the burden of raising you young,
But that doesn't mean I don't love you.
I am sorry that your daddy wasn't there,
But to do his business and leave me aside like a dirty cloth.
I am sorry for everything ever done wrong to you,
But that doesn't mean I didn't want you.
In fact I did,
I was just too young,
Too inexperienced,
And didn't want the memories of your fathers fuck-ups in my child,
And I didn't want you to have to have a part of the asshole in you,
And have to remember everyday of how you were born.
I still love you as if you are alive and in my arms for me to rock to sleep,
But I am not sorry for your fathers mistakes that he chose to do.
I am hoping to have you again in another life.
And I am still sulking over a lost life.
I wish I had you here to hold and kiss goodnight.
I wish I would've one day looked at you and listen to you call me "Mommy".
I am sorry for your lost life.
Author notes
To those of you who read my AP author page before I changed it, you know what this is about. If you don't know then don't worry about it because this is too painful for me to repeat.
Written July 21st, 2005
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Comments
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this is really sweet...motherhood is very strenuous yet beautiful thing...it's a full time job with no breaks...i understand that you were too young to take care of it...only under circumstances like that do i support giving up a life....this is a great poem and letting out all of the frustration and fear nad sorrow that came with this situation gets you one step closer to being at peace with it...it's just like alex said...everything you go through makes you who you are today...great write...
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yea i know what your talking about...im sorry that you had to go thru that...things wouldnt be how they are today if that didnt happen...your past makes you who you are today...remember that
one
alex -
This was a very good poem
Sissy
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