A woman lonely, lost in sorrow
Never knowing what brings tomorrow
Longing for love in the wrong people
Causing her to be emotionally feeble
Never good enough to be the only one
Left to wait as he has his fun
But she only ever wanted to fall in love
To feel that warmth inside her heart forever lost
But he's only satisfied to keep her as a toy
She tries continuously to open up her heart,
but he only cares to tear her down, tear her apart
She's been holding herself inside for so long;
waiting for that perfect one to come along
She thought she found him; she's at the end of his list
and waiting, heart aching, anger protruding, 'til she's missed
But she only ever wanted to fall in love
To feel that warmth inside her heart forever lost
But he's only satisfied to keep her as a toy
Love is lost upon her soul; she's just a playing card
At her breaking point, she picks up every bleeding shard
Fragile to his impatience, his ignorance beating her down
Never realizing that he'd place upon her head, a slave's crown
And so she let her feelings grow, longing for his each embrace
Never knowing it would cause a torrent of rain on her face
But she only ever wanted to fall in love
To feel that warmth inside her heart forever lost
But he's only satisfied to keep her as a toy
He could never see what a priceless gem he'd found
in a broken woman that could be everything, she was bound
He never thought she could bring light into his darkness;
show him what love truly was instead of being his mistress
Never thought she'd fall in love with a man like him,
or give herself in return of being more than a play thing
She only wanted to fall in love
To feel warmth from him inside her heart
Though broken and loving him with her life; hopelessly so
Author notes
Inspired by the song Broken Like An Angel by Crossfade and based on my character and Toria's; mine being the woman, and hers being the man.
To view the lyrics, click this link:
www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Crossfade/Broken-Like-An-Angel.html
I love this poem. I am VERY pleased with how it came out. Please leave me meaningful comments.
Written July 21st, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This poem isn't personal, but thank you for your comment.
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WOW that poem was very touching and i hoep that you didn't get hurt i hope that poem was on somthing on you mind. i think that poems was so very touching
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The problem is that she KNOWS he is the one...he just doesn't see it.
Thank you for your comment.
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Wonderfully said!! Waiting is hard, but then pointless in a way unless you know you found the one. Waiting is pointless because the outcome could possibly turn out to slam you in the face. The main thing to do is enjoy the friendship and don't focus on waiting...love will come if its meant to.
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Thank you for your lovely comment and best of luck with judging.
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Thanks for entering the contest. Good work bringing fiction to life, and in such a way that nearly everyone will identify with one or the other somehow. The most important line for me is "she's at the end of his list." That encompasses all that is important to the piece. It seems she loves this man in much the same way that a homely dog loves his master...fully and completely, without regard for worth. I enjoyed your word choices, and have no suggestions for revision. Nice work and good luck.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. They are much appreciated.
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Lovely. It was great. I loved the little-smaller stanzas..it gave me a sense of rest and I didn't feel that the poem was too long. Your rhyming was sensational, and could not be improved upon on this poem i don't think. Great Write. Keep on writing.
~Rocker -
Meaningful... hmmmm looks for dictionary
J/k. I think that the way you are writing poems based on story characters of yours and your friends makes them come to life a little more. Very deep and personal. Loved the use of rhyme too...
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Wonderful poem you have there. Especially the repetitive stanza. Usually I dislike them unless it was an actualy song but you've done so well with it. Excellent job with the poem overall. After hearing the song so many times, I can't remember it but I'm pretty sure if fits well.
I'm sorry if my tiredness has masked any of the meaningfulness that should be in this comment. I'm sorry if it has. Love you
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Thank you. Good luck with judging.
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Fantastic Darling! Keep it up. Good luck in my contest!
Sarah -
Yep. Realy inspiration for me these days. *sigh* I know he doesn't think of her as just a toy, but Rose doesn't know that.
Neither does he, so far. Heh. Thanks for commenting. 
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~Key dramatic music.~ Sharazon strikes again! o o; .. Yes.. I like to say that in all poems pertaining to characters I help make and or inspire. Hmm.. Yes. He doesn't just see her as a toy, you know..
.. It's just all he's willing to admit at this point. ._. Heh.. ANYWAY .. Best of luck in the contest, dear. 
And, I'm so very glad that you have found inspiration in my randomness. ^ ^;
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While I have never heard the song, it didn't stop me from enjoying the poem which in short is excellent. I may be able to find a better word to describe it but not at the moment in my current state of mind. It was great though, to say the least. For me, there is usually one or more lines that really stand out in poems, today its the following:
"Longing for love in the wrong people"
This is the line of the day, and possibly the month thus far. Fits in with alot of relationships these days don't it? Of course whenever I pick a single line, I'm not taking anything away from the rest of the poem, just this one stood out strongest. Good luck with the contest, you're already a winner in my book
-Chained Fury
"For a day as dark as night"
From Fear, a work in progress...
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Aha, I would do that, but as you might know from one of my comments, I'm quite picky with my stanzas and anyway...I feel like breaking it would throw off the rhyme. *sweatdrop* I'm picky. Heh. Don't be afraid to try to give helpful advice though, ESPECIALLY if you see typos. *shudders* Thank you for commenting.
Edited on Jul 21, 4:10 p.m. because ''. -
On the 5th stanza, I recommend breaking it off onto the next line where you have the commas. Otherwise, this was beautiful. ^_^ [Doesn't have much comment juice...]
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