Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Here my voice stumbles




Here my voice stumbles.
Through the pale arms of trees
the wind pours itself.
Against the window the moon skirls
its silver solitude.
The grass is wet with dreams.

Night unfurls in dark carnations.
A white moth falls from the Southern Cross.
Sometimes a wing. Far far water stars.
Oh, the hoarse cry of a lighthouse.
Alone.

The dark is never silent; even my eyes are noisy.
Somewhere a black sea echoes and re-echoes.
The bay is big.

Here my voice stumbles.
Here my voice stumbles and the horizon

hides you in vain.
I love you still among these cold things.
Sometimes my words leave me like birds of passage
winging towards endless summers.
I see them flying off in flocks of ink.

The piers sadden when dusk moors here.
My tongue grows quiet, moist to no purpose.
My longing wrestles with the starry distances,
but time and sand stifles my mouth.

The moon cries at every window.
The grass is full of night and water.
And as I love you, my voice stumbles
over a single branch and a paled dream.

 

 




 

Author notes

http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/39381-Pablo-Neruda-Here-I-Love-You

Pablo Neruda ~ Nobel Laureate from Chile. I wanted to write something that somehow reflects his brilliance and the melancholy that was so characteristic of his poetry.

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 176     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Night Hope gold member
    March 16

    Edit | Reply



    You knew I'd "go there", my Sister...couldn't help it, Nic...You & Neruda??? Love you, Woman... Vlindertjie

  • ea silver member
    July 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is gorgeous and I love the Alfonsina Storni poem you have brought to the table alongside this wonderful piece you have written, inspired by one of my all time favorites, Neruda. This is indeed a rich banquet to feast on, these three fruits alone. Thank you so much.


    • Nicolette gold member
      July 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the kind comment - and the points


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Neruda was brilliant, and you drew divine inspiration from him. Beautiful poem, thank you for sharing your favorite with me. Best of luck in the contest.


    whisper :


  • Naridill
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully painted. The imagery is nicely drawn and such unique but beautifully designed phrasing.


  • Abby In Chains. silver member
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i absolutely love this poem.

    it touched me in a way.

    i love the last stanza.

    well done poet.

    Abby


  • Ithica silver member
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem has pulled hard on my heartstrings. I mourned the loss with you, as you you poured your emotions all over the page. Bittersweet memories and the echo of hope endears this piece to me. Congrats. for all your accolades. Well deserved, I'd say...


  • Ladybug
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OMG; this is luscious in every syllable why does he not see the truth and justice he deserves in filling the role of the knight to the lovely princess. You two were so meant to be. tears for you today and always.
    :hugs: ): ):
    when God prevails and not until, you will be together

    Tamara

  • hopelessly dreaming
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    just amazing. this poem just has so much heart in it. i can only hope that one day i'm half as good as this.


  • love my jose luis
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have a great write here and I can definately see why you got silver... (it should probably would have been gold if it were my contest) I think you did a wonderful job on this... Truely great poem.
    ~Alix


  • F a t i m a
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ---p-u-r-e-l-y--d-i-v-i-n-e---

    :# I don't have the words to comment the beauty and power of this poem :#. This is rrr-really so very beautiful and brrrrilliant. Your words have captivated all my nerve and cardiac cells...really I'm smitten by your poem xD(lol if you dint get a word of this weird line..then pardon me haan)

    ~anyhow all the very best to you and this poem for wining more and morrrr-rrrre gold! ~ xD


    seeya
    Fatima


  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Gee

    This has more comments, then I have poems. What can I say that hasn't been said already? Nutting. Ill just
    ease off, and leave three smily guys clapping...
    Joe


  • mountainwriter
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    great visuals

    I love the contrast between physical and emotional. You do an excellent job of describing feelings using the trees and branches and piers and moons. I am interested to see how you could change the line "the bay is big". It doesn't really fit the flow of the poem, but I think it's a visual you could be more specific with. Good luck, and thanks for sharing.


  • mato
    November 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I love it

    This is brilliant... and so beautiful.. thank you for a few minutes well spent!!


  • Perfiction
    November 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Such divine echoes from what you have written.

  • Still Gonna Shine
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Like the ocean, you have taken my breath away with the beauty of your poem. Your poem reminded me of all the times I have felt overwhelmed (in a good way) by details. Thank you for writing this poem.


  • Nostalgia
    November 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow....................Breathtaking. It is here MY voice stumbles, you have left me speechless.


  • SerenityNChains gold member
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    And as I love you, my voice stumbles
    over a single branch and a paled dream....

    Singing these laments of love, and longing, and...love. Your words always shroud me in beauty my friend, and such a comfort they are. Some day I shall curl up under a quilt with the comfort of your words bound in a hardcover.

    Simply beautiful.

    Blessed be,
    Billie Jean


  • John Carney
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    For me this poem brought to me through the metaphors you used the idea of one wanting to reach out to a loved one but being unable to because of rejection and the depression and bitterness and sadness that followed. The metaphors really bring out well this idea of depression and bitterness and sad memory. The idea of love rejected is also well brought out by these metaphors as well. I really liked a lot of these for their originality. Nice work.

    John Carney


  • Poesing
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very beautiful

    This is the best piece of poetry I've read in a long time! Love the words you use - so descriptive - so lovely! Congratulations!


  • Namita
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You're going to get tons of reviews! Did you notice, this is in the spotlight!

  • mmook
    November 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for sharing

  • Namita
    November 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    10 trophies. My maximum on one poem is 5. lol.

    "Here my voice stumbles.
    Through the pale arms of trees
    the wind pours itself.
    Against the window the moon skirls
    its silver solitude.
    The grass is wet with dreams"

    Pale arms of a tree... and I just adore how you use the word "pour" so beautifully in different places. "the moon skirls"... skirls! How clever! "its silver solitude"! That's perfect alliteration. "The grass is wet with dreams" is absolutely brilliant~

    "Night unfurls in dark carnations.
    A white moth falls from the Southern Cross.
    Sometimes a wing. Far far water stars.
    Oh, the hoarse cry of a lighthouse.Alone."

    "unfurling night in dark carnations" - I haven't seen something that beautiful lately! "A white moth falls from the Southern Cross. Sometimes a wing. Far far water stars." sometimes wings... and water stars they are! How stunning.

    "The dark is never silent; even my eyes are noisy.
    Somewhere a black sea echoes and re-echoes.
    The bay is big"

    I remember writing once "the dark weeps with silence that is never unheard". But what how you've said the same is ten times better. "noisy eyes" - I can just dream of writing something that awesome. Echoing and re-echoing...

    "Here my voice stumbles.
    Here my voice stumbles; the horizon hides you in vain.
    I love you still among these cold things.
    Sometimes my words leave me like birds of passage
    winging towards endless summers.
    I see them flying off in flocks of ink"

    A horizon hiding you in vain... how do you do it?! And I know how a woman loves him amongst the cold cold things... and sometimes our words too leave like the gulls and birds... toward the seasons in flocks of ink and pen... thoughtful and beautiful. Of course, the stumbling of voice... I know the stumble... the stumble, the trip, the fall - but indeed, his words lift you up in such a way that you would wuish your voice would stumble again...

    "The piers sadden when dusk moors here.
    My tongue grows quiet, moist to no purpose.
    My longing wrestles with the starry distances,
    but time and sand stifles my mouth"

    the quiet of your tongue that's moist with no purpose... and the need which battles the distance of a thousand stars... yet so close he is, to your heart...but time, the sand they do stifle mouth...

    "The moon cries at every window.
    The grass is full of night and water.
    And as I love you, my voice stumbles
    over a single branch and a paled dream"

    and at last, the moon that skirled does cry alongside the window, and the grass once full of dreams has melted to night and water... and then the voice does stumble over a leftover dream and the single arm of a forgotten tree...

    I just have to say... this sounds like an essay I guess... but that's all I can say...

    Here, my voice stumbled... here it did.

    • Nicolette gold member
      November 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      WOW - your comment is longer than my poem and this is one of my longest poems!! What a wonderful comment - yes, it reads like an essay but I appreciate the time you took to dive into this one.... one of my own personal favourites. I just looked at the date - July 2005... written in the good ole days. Thank you, my lovely friend - you're great

  • Mercury Rising
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It's little wonder that you have won all those trophys with this amazing poem. This piece is really remarkable and replete with the arresting and highly original imagery. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.

    Mercury Rising


  • kaibab silver member
    December 16, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    How frail, the sliver of ice to string my heart to sun...in hope that light might find me pouting, inept to compete when talent shines as morning rises, to sift throught thought like feathers exiting the swollen pillow...impatient to remember a last night's smile...again you blow me away...with poetry as it was assigned...and sigth a wind first thought...

    • Nicolette gold member
      December 16, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the beauty of your words, Rich. Reminds me of a song I heard last night...you're simply amazing...


  • MenschMariah
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    wow this is simply incredibale and a remarkable write..wow breathless wow.


  • IndividualEleven
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    great write, enjoyed the different view.


  • Hadji Murad
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...

    This write is remarkable. The words are so vivid and deep and absolutely beautiful. You paint such a wonderful picture in my mind. You use such beautiful phrases. "Even my eyes are noisy" "The horizon hides you in vain", "I see them flying off in flocks of ink", Wow...entire stanzas just blow me away.

    I am truly impressed with this write. Wonderful job and best of luck you!

  • Nicolette gold member
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, both Wanda and David - I am honoured....I have no words...!! Good luck on the judging and thank you once again!!


  • dp robertson
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    What the nominator thinks - I love many poems by many people. Nicolette inspires me constantly & consistently. I wrote a reply to this piece of hers that was published in my book. It moves me deeply. We both love Pablo Neruda's works. Rich is an incredible writer, as well. Yes, he wrote this one for me, but it's a wonderful piece even without that added bonus. He is a nature writer reminiscent of Frost & Thoreau. It was the start of a beautiful friendship that caused us both to write more than 70 poems each in a month's time. He collaborates with No deliverance, Hana, on some amazing His & Hers poems. It was difficult to choose just one from Nic & Rich, let alone from the vast storehouse of brlliant writers I know. Some of 'em keep deleting the best ones, too. I've been here two years as of June. I spent a long time searching for & cultivating relationships with some of AP's best & brightest. I'd like to refer you to just some of the Poets I feel have made more than a significant impact on my writing & on my life: Nicolette, kaibab, shewolfnative, zayra yves, Lyrical Soul, MuddyKing, Just Rob, Individuality, grm, cvillelisa, transcendental baby, Mary Cat, NurseChilly, Oisin, Mad Moon, AlmostMe, concrete sky, Dantes Inferno, wbiro, Wildequill, suseann, jaunty pill, Presence, Redstormy, A Prophet of 3, Whispered Love, Scott Adelmann, Silver Sionnach, ecrivain01, Danna Hobart, Rowan, Natari Moon...sighhh...Even more...These are just off the top of my head; I have a list that I posted as a "poem", since I have nearly 300 Poets on it...the AP system only runs efficiently with 50...{more power!!!} This will get you started on those dreadfully slow nights when the poems & Poets are far too young & bloody... From the very first lines, she sings a melancholy song of such beauty...Her musical language stuns me.

    Congratulations! This poem was nominated as one of the two best poems on this site for a favourites comp run by D P Robertson. You were nominated by Night Hope

    This really is a stunning piece of poetry. Anyone who can conjure images like

    I see them flying off in flocks of ink.

    Knows what it is to be poetic. This is just a superb piece of flawless writing. I should point out that so to is the very famous poem which has inspired this, Pablo Neruda's "Here I love you" – it is also well worth reading or revisiting if you know it. This is very, very good and obviously gave me a great deal of pleasure reading it. Thank you.

    David


  • ma belle
    September 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I truly loved this poem. Congratulations on your HM. The imagery was quite rich--beyond spectacular. ♥ Belle


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the kind words and the applause...I'll look into that "of" versus the "from" ~

  • ecrivain01
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. I wonder though if "wet of dreams" might not sound better as "wet from my dreams"? Anyway, all in all this is a very good job. I'm sure Neruda would have liked it.

  • Nicolette gold member
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the lovely comment and the applause. This is one of my favourite poems too - and I just love Neruda's work. Best wishes ~

  • FRIDAYatFIVE
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    My God this is so breathtakingly lovely I just want to sit here and cry for awhile...thank you for your words of tribute to Pablo Neruda and for entering it into the contest...

  • Nicolette gold member
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Belle, thank you very much. Yes, he wrote most of his love poetry for his wife. His style is so unique, as are his poems of love and longing. Be well ~

  • ma belle
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, Nicolette, your entry is most befitting. The style, flow, even the punctuation reminds me of Neruda's work. I think of love poetry when I think of Neruda, who was so famous for penning them so well with his imagery second to none. Love poetry is most difficult to write--probably one of the hardest genres of poetry. If my memory serves me correctly, the object of his love poems was his wife? I think you did a brilliant, beautiful job with this masterpiece. Best of luck to you, Belle
    Edited on Sep 09, 12:43 because 'spell'.


  • July 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow!
    so much emotion portrayed in your tender and strong words; i have read this several times. the line:

    "Here my voice stumbles"

    repeated twice; is exactly how i am feeling right now.
    so much sorrow with such power and each one has significant meaning. i am in awe of this poem; and your writing is truly beautiful beyond words. best to be silent and absorb.
    bless you and thank you with grace~
    lynn
    p.s. my "realm" sent me this to read as it is her faviourite and i am forever grateful to her for sharing~
    Edited on Jul 25 because ''.


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Trina. Let's try the word bank - thanks ~

  • FindingFate
    July 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful...simply great penning. Let me know if you prefer a title or a bank and I shall get back to you asap...Trina


  • honey bear
    July 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    exelent

    there is nothing i can say here that has not already been said ,exelent

  • Nicolette gold member
    June 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Tom, thank you so much for your visit and for the very kind comment. Neruda has inspired many of my poetry...just wish I could write like him!! ~


  • tomisb
    June 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    God, and I pretend to write poetry. This is so strong and tender. The images breathing a series of tactile electricity along my nervous system as if I am being touched and taught to re envision the entire universe. Delightful enchanting and a thousand other trite words flood my brain and I sit on my chair feeling clumsy and tongue tied at the beauty in this poem. Neruda, himself, would be charmed and delighted to know he inspired this. Love, Tom B.

  • Nicolette gold member
    June 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Karen, thank you so much, my friend. This poem is one of my personal favourites too and what was so "weird" was that when I wrote it, my voice wasn't even near "stumbling" - but of course we all know the "stumbling" times.


  • klassy lassy
    June 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    heartsong, heartsong

    I am wishing I had all your poems in a book. This where my voice stumbles too, in commenting, for such poignancy and longing often has no sound buy a cry, or a tear glistening under moonbeams and dreams. I see why this poem is Night Hope's favorite, for it rises from fingertips to silent lips and falls like stardust at eventide, a soft hungry song . . .

    ohhhh!

  • Nicolette gold member
    May 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Rich... glad this poem spoke to you as well. This is one of my own favourites - at times the southern cross smiles on me. ~

  • kaibab silver member
    May 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is one of the best ever..and so I ache the way the star falling from the cross...and to see another's eyes with your incredible words...


  • roused
    April 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for your entry!

  • Vera Rich
    March 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I see you have now emended the points I (and other commentators) raised. These changes are really a great improvement!


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I think I should do something about the "ink-spots"...!

  • Vera Rich
    March 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A lovely piece over-all - though I find the "Inkspots" a little off-putting - as doubtless others who listened regularly to BBC radio in the 1940s and early 1950s would also do!

    And the "grass is wet of dreams" does also have rather unfortunate connotations!"


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    dewbee, thank you for the lovely comment...so true about the open flower (beautiful words...)!


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...yes the choices, the words - thanks!

  • ea silver member
    March 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I like it; I just think it should be wet "with" or wet "by" or even "in" ? Oh, such choices! LOL


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, ea for the kind comment! Hmmmm...I kind of like my "grass is wet of dreams", lol! Dew..dreams... !

  • ea silver member
    March 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This has such beautiful imagery and there are many lines that are simply lovely and evocative of Neruda's sensual style. The arms of the trees through which the wind pours itself and the tongue being moist to no purpose are just two examples to sigh over. The last stanza reminded me of Lorca with his "Little Viennese Waltz." I would rethink the grass is wet of dreams in the first stanza though. "of" didn't seem like the right preposition.


  • dewfall
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely lovely, lovely lovely lovely.... i love things swirling and pressing against windows... i think T.S.Eliot says something like the tyhe yellow london fog pressed itself against the window somewhere...

    we are most sensitive when our flower opens are we not?

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You are most kind, The Risen Sun. This poem is one of my personal favourites too. By reading the great Neruda, I learn... . Best wishes ~


  • Raazi
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Here my voice stumbles; the horizon hides you in vain.
    This was WOW! How did you come up with this? "Here my voice stumbles". Amazing poem! Definately one of the best I've seen yet, and I see that you have already won a gold for it. Good luck here as well. Here's a HUGE applause for you.


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Vera - will do the commenting tonight. Good luck on the judging. ~

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Feathered Motion, for the kind words. I simply adore Pablo Neruda - what a great master he was (and is)!


  • individuality gold member
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    you have passion always in your poetry, (from the ones i have read at least) here i find no exception to that, it is a beautiful poem in honour of Pablo Neruda's poem.

  • Vera Rich
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    'World Poetry Day is now over - even just west of the dateline, and the competition is closed.I am now checking poems piror to judging, and shall be giving you an "applaud" for having followed the rules correctly.

    If you have not commented on other people's entries... you have 48 hours in which to compete for additional points by commenting on at least three other entries - with one comment of at least 50 words and two more of 25 words.

    I shall be judging comments early next week...so please, if you remove this poem from the competition, let me know where it has gone, so that I can check other people's comments on it!'


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, dear friend - I echo your words and praise!

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks you, sjgaither! This poem is one of my personal favourites and it has been very good to me.... Glad you liked it! ~


  • Lyrical Soul silver member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations Nic. I couldn't have placed second to a more worthy opponent, poet and friend. Well done. This is one of my favorites of yours.

    ~Lyrical


  • sjgaither
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is truly worthy of the gold! Simply a beautiful, beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing this. This poem is classic.


  • Andy Stephenson
    February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    As I read the poem the person in the poem is so caught up with emotion that speach is impossible. Let me know if I missed the meaning. I like the poem, but I admit that it confuses me.

    Thanks for entering.


  • RuthKephart
    January 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the well deserved gold Could we possibly be roommates in Hollywood, I don't do well in big cities
    Ruth


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Meli - wonderful to receive such a compliment from "Simon"!!


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, poet2angels - best wishes! ~


  • Annalise
    January 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well, the talent arrives. Great to see something beautifully written.

    (Simon) Meli


  • poet2angels gold member
    January 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ver beautifully written, dog. Good luck. -Randy. (M)

  • Nicolette gold member
    January 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Linda, thank you for your wonderful comment. I would love to have you put this poem to music too - that would be so great. If ever you have the music, let me know. Thank you for offering to help with Spanish - I'll remember you!! Best wishes ~


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Lynda (hmmm I mean Paula Abdul) - wonderful to have a judge like you!!

  • poet2angels gold member
    January 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful piece of poetry here! Wow...You have done a wonderful job in this audition!..Good luck with the other judges!....Paula Abdul ...hehe...(Lynda )


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the kind comment - best wishes to you too! ~


  • Kendall Campbell
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem stands on it's own but while accompanied with Neruda's it's all the more beautiful. Thanks for the entry, take care and God bless.

  • Nicolette gold member
    December 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    mooonwick, thank you so much for a wonderful comment - you brought a smile to my heart!! I just wish I could write like Pablo Neruda, but I think I got the hang of it with this poem! ~


  • moonwick
    December 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    BRAVO, dear poet!!!! I have long been a wanderer of the night, and I never quite knew why. But there's something about moonlight that makes everything seem so far away, yet so near...a longing that just cannot be satisfied. And your right; the darkness is noisy. EXCELLENT imagery; I could see it all so clearly, and I think I've been there in my mind before. I shall have to read more of your work! Good luck in the contest!

  • Nicolette gold member
    December 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, lostinhope - you've picked up on the essence of this poem and yes, the "horrors" of the miserable blue distances. At times it makes me soo melancholic and somber - I can see that you understand that so well! Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and for sharing your memories


  • lostinhope
    December 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh the horrors of distant love. A true fear of seperation and forgetfulness. In wanting to capture melancholy, you achieved it. This poem makes me somber in thinking of how I lost my love to distance. An emotion I hated to remember, but through this I remember not with anger but with tears. Standing on the shores that separated us and whispering his promises to me. A splender of hope remains in my heart that perhaps one day he will return and does not. How, I ask you, were you able to make me remember? A true quality of an amazing artist. I like this Nicolette, I trully do. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Night Hope gold member
    November 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Sighhh... God, I love this poem, Nic... Vlindertjie


  • Nicolette gold member
    November 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your kind comment ~


  • Manoj Sanyal
    November 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Nice poem with very good metaphor and imageries.
    Best wishes and good luck,
    manoj


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, dear for your wonderful comment - you are way too kind to me. Goed om van jou te hoor - mooi bly!


  • tanzanite
    October 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You have indeed Nicolette. As always you never fail to touch my heart and my spirit. This was amazing - yes you did get Pablo right. You are one of the best poets that I have seen coming out of this country.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    October 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Superb!

    Nice read Niclette...you penned this out excellent...You have a way with words I see indeed...so vivid...love the imagery from the pic on down with such water flowing content. Keep up the great works sweet soul...thanks so much for sharing you!

    -Timothy The Poetic Weaver

  • he is ridiculous-
    October 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    beautifully written!

    OH I Love it! I feel like you have to actually be expieriencing what you're describing as you write this just because it's done so well! If that makes since... You did a wonderful job!


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much for the very kind comment and the compliment!! ~


  • quotidianaubergine
    October 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Now this is more like it. Full of wonderful language...it reminds me of potential Bjork lyrics, if you know what I mean (it's a compliment).
    Brilliant and sophisticated work.
    Good luck in contest.


  • Anthony-
    September 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great stuff!!! You truly are marvellous! Tony.


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Jim, thank you...even your comment is poetic, my friend! ~


  • September 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Love, if that word can explain what you have written cannot be as beautiful as this. Dreams, even the ones that wet the grass, cannot compare to what the poem hopes to be.

  • Nicolette gold member
    September 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Muddy - you are most kind! Yeah, I see that mutual friend of ours was busy, but I'm not complaining!! ~

  • Night Hope gold member
    September 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Guess who??? hehehe I knew you'd love her work, Muddy...you both paint with words...Nic, Muddy also paints pictures & has 'em posted...


  • MuddyKing
    September 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    How lucky this Steve must be. I must read more of you. I came here by way of a friend, I am indebted to both of you.
    Love this
    Peace Muddy

1 - 99 of 176     1 2  next >  (show all)