The lines of darkness, happen to go through your beautiful face
Ending up converging somewhere, in the vortex of time and space
Negative emotions equal to the most purest of power
As you hang your face like the Narcissus reflected, flower
You are all the evil that was ever sought or spent
That would never make you forgive, seek salvation or relent
You draw your inspiration from the torture and despair
Anything to break good or hope from ever being there
You love it most, when people are weak or in pain
Love it when mutilated bodies are falling as the rain
You show no mercy or nothing of any remorse
Evil is always sanctioned by the use of bloody force
You are the opposite of Love and are of Hate
Linear vanity, trapdoor, markings to the fickle hand of fate
Lines drawn up to divide the esoteric sunlight of the good
Lines that captivate, drag down and alter men's moods
"I am the darkness and you are the light
None shall ever win, we are both balanced and are right
My lines are traps, for the weak and the demure
They will never effect or alter the actions of the righteous or pure"
The lines of darkness, once again, go through your beautiful face
They are present in all that populate the earth of the human race
Duality co exists as the lines of darkness that doth divide
The pureness of the sea, from the dirty sand, with the line of tide.
Georges.
Author notes
Written July 14th, 2005. Option 2. Georges.
In a list
A contest entry
- PPPOOOOEEEETTTRRRRYYYY! by DeepDarkDesire.
400 points, ended February 18, 2006, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When Is It Too Much? by FlipperSwitch.
475 points, ended January 20, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Option Upon Options Contest by SensualWhispers.
525 points, ended January 19, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Voices by Jimmah324.
700 points, ended February 15, 2007, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes... As long as it's deep... by CrystalJet.
450 points, ended March 3, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For the Love Goth's by Rockstar Bob.
500 points, ended March 27, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - On phone lines and a letterhead by this is a war.
700 points, ended June 19, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To find ugly meanings in beautiful things is to be corrupt without being charming -Oscar Wilde by Aesthete.
700 points, ended June 18, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Relationships by ms-cuddles.
575 points, ended July 11, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dark, strange, love poems wanted here!!! by Just waiting.
300 points, ended August 22, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Nice
This has a style I haven't seen in a very long time. It flows well and you have a nice use of metaphor. My favorite part is:
You are all the evil that was ever sought or spent
That would never make you forgive, seek salvation or relent
You draw your inspiration from the torture and despair
Anything to break good or hope from ever being there
Thank you for entering this piece. Good luck. -
very nice piece. thanks for entering and good luck
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Hmmm
There are things here I really liked and those that just confused me. Now the biggest point I have, what I don't get is, are you ok with this relationship or is this just not working for you? You speak of balance and yes good and bad balance eachother out. I know quite a few relationships where this works for them and some that one or the other can't handle the other's difference. In my life, I'm the bad one and that's fine by my partner and to tell the truth, that's been fine in quite a few of my relationships. Thanks for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles -
thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
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There is a very good effort displayed in this poem. However, when approaching a rigid rhyme scheme like you did it is important to use meter. You did an okay job regardless, but several points sounded very contrived. This is only natural when you don’t pay attention to syllables. As it is, the poem ends up suffering for the sake of the rhyme. Rhyme is only a tool that can be used to help the poem. It should never be the main focus otherwise things just sound forced. Also some things didn't make sense, namely, the fourth line of the first stanza. "As you hang your face like the narcissus, reflected, flower." I think I know what you meant but it's just not quite there. You have some interesting ideas and good vocabulary but you need to work on your craft. Thanks for entering.
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It is...a Masterpiece
Did you win Gold for this one before? ...Seriously it's great. ...A little complex for my tastes but still a good poem. Thanks for entering the contest.
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This is a good poem and I liked it, but the last line, or I guess word, confused me. Is is supposed to be some sort of name? Otherwise I really liked this poem. Thank you for your wonderful entry and good luck in my contest.
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This is a very descriptive poem and I really enjoyed the beautiful details and images you painted with your words
wonderful!
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wow
You are all the evil that was ever sought or spent
That would never make you forgive, seek salvation or relent
You draw your inspiration from the torture and despair
Anything to break good or hope from ever being there
You love it most, when people are weak or in pain
Love it when mutilated bodies are falling as the rain
You show no mercy or nothing of any remorse
Evil is always sanctioned by the use of bloody force
that was just powerful right there.. really good poetry and rhyme. very good. thank you for entering and good luck ... kassie. -
Wow...truly makde me stop and reread this to make sure I didn't miss anything. It's beautiful and I love the variety of vocabulary and how you used an appropriate amount of them. Thanks so much for entering and good luck!
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Sorry but I have to say this:
I yawned all the fricking way through this!
Great rhyming scheme though.... -
i think this is my favorite out of three you entered. amazing, amazing work. good luck in the contest.
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Absolutely wonderful! I especially liked the line about the "esoteric sunlight of the good" Beautiful!
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Interesting poem. I'm not sure if 'most purest of power' is gramatically correct. YOu may want to check that out. I tripped over the line when I read it. But maybe thats not a bad thing.
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this is a beutiful poem. i love the way you used a Greek god in this poem. i've never read anything like it. i loved this poem. its amazing!oh by the way i entered in ur contest. poem is hello fantasy.
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This has beutiful wording and some good imagery I like the part about dark and light being balanced as I too believe they are and always will be. Nice write.
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wonderful
i loved the rhyme scheme and love this poem. i thought it was very original and has a different aproach to the battle of good and evil on this earth very well done and well written -
hm. I like it but I feel the rhyme scheme kind of hindered you. the rhyming of flower and power and pain and rain seemed strained and are quite overused. the general idea of the poem was very good I just think if you hadn't tried to make it rhyme it would have felt more original. demure with pure was pretty good though I liked that one.
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Wow. That's all I think I need to say, when I read this poem. Wow. You did an exelent job (that's speleld wrong I know) But Wow! Nice!
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I think this is such an awesome and deep poem!!! I love this and the way it was written!!! It really made me think! Excellent write!
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Beautiful poem.
I loved it.
It describes the feeling so well I felt it...
Wampyr<3 -
excelent
wow this is powerful hey great write no my scale i give the higest i give 9 3/4 does this have to do with the london bombings. after all your not that far away from there. great job deserves applause -
I thought that this was a great writing. Your descriptions were amazing and the flow of your words were almost perfect.You placed so much imagery that it was as if I could see the evil and good both talking to eachother in my mind. My favorite part was the final stanza, it was a great way to end this astonishing write. I hope to read more from you soon, and keep writing, -Heather
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very nice piece of writting. its powerful, keep up the good writting
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wow I loved it! it was very well written and described too. I enjoyed reading it alot. I did like the ending very well and that was my favorite part but I always point out the ending and there was another part that I reallly liked:
You love it most, when people are weak or in pain
Love it when mutilated bodies are falling as the rain
You show no mercy or nothing of any remorse
Evil is always sanctioned by the use of bloody force
I mean I just thought that part was AWESOME, really. I love dark poems. They're just awesome. Well I really thought this poem was really good. Keep on writting and again your poem was very well written and it was just basically kick ass! -
georges u never cease to stop in amazing me with ur writes and this in particular is just absolutely fabulous the rhyming is just something else very nicely well done
-Rae -
your a great writier and i loved this peice! it is so dispricptive and beautiful. it made me happy. i dont know. it was almost like it was in another time.
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wonderful
wonderful use of vocabulary, I really enjoyed reading this very much! very very well writtten! delightfully dark, and wonderful! -
Another well-written piece by a talented man!
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Wow this is awsome !!!
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Inspirational
"Lines drawn up to divide the esoteric sunlight of the good
Lines that captivate, drag down and alter men's moods"
My dear Georges, you made me cry! Yesterday my heart broke with anguish over watching the news. How so many young people die, how so many innocent people grieve, all over the world. Today, thank God, He came to the rescue and filled my heart with love. Your beautiful words are inspirational. Forgive me for going on so. Jane
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Deep thoughts
This is so full of images that it challenges the reader to explore all the hidden corners. As with other of your writes, the unfolding of your message takes time. Very strong entry.
Peace,
Ed -
WOW this was very well written, Your words are powerful and amazing! keep it up!!!
I have to say that the lines:
"I am the darkness and you are the light
None shall ever win, we are both balanced and are right
My lines are traps, for the weak and the demure
They will never effect or alter the actions of the righteous or pure"
You talk of this balance of darkness and light with beauty! this is an awsome stanza and an excellent poem! keep it up!
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Your descriptive layering of word choice is what has captured me to continue wit the read. You have put this piece together with the gifted talent of a true poet!
These are certainly powerful words, speaking volumes!
"You are all the evil that was ever sought or spent
That would never make you forgive, seek salvation or relent
You draw your inspiration from the torture and despair
Anything to break good or hope from ever being there"
It has been my joy to read your piece.
Stay blessed
ICUlookn
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