Dear Daddy,
I had so much fun!
Today was my big party
Now I'm four plus one
But I missed you daddy!
Love,
Katie
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Dear Daddy,
Today I was mad
Because mommy was crying
I asked "what's wrong", she said "nothing bad"
But I knew she was lying
But I acted like a puppy, and did the bark
And then she felt a little better
And then she took me to the park
A little bit later
Love,
Katie
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Dear Daddy,
It's been three weeks
And you're not here yet
Mommy hit my butt cheeks
Yea- I got the bed wet
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I'm so sorry daddy, I didn't mean to
But you didn't hug me goodnight and
The lights were off too
So I got a little frightened
I Love You soooo Much,
Katie
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Dear Daddy,
I wanna go to Chukee'Cheeses
That always makes me smile
And let's eat some Hershey Kisses
I haven't seen you in a long while
I miss You,
Katie
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Dear Daddy,
Won't you come back!??
It's been almost two months
All the easter eggs cracked
Why are you taking so long??
I miss You very very Much,
Katie
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Dear Dadddy,
I miss your piggy back rides
You made me laugh so hard
I wanna ride down that big slide
Mommy never does that at the park
Love,
Katie
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Dear Daddy,
It's been four years
And today I'm turning nine
But I'm still waiting here
Although you've shown no sign
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Dear Daddy,
I am so sorry
I don't think it's a big deal so..
Please, daddy, please don't worry
But today.....I did it..I stole
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Daddy, please-I know this isn't OK
It looked like a gift from somebody
It had your name on it and a date
It looked like some fancy pottery
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All I wanted to do was to open it for you
Up my spine I felt the chills
I thought.. "What did I just do?"
The jar broke---something spilled
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Brown dust began to fill the room
I kneeled down and began to touch
The dust that smelled like your perfume
......Daddy, I miss you so much.............
Goodbye.........
Katie
Author notes
Written July 13th, 2005
A contest entry
- in need of ap family by jacklyn.
300 points, ended June 20, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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i really do like this, it actually made me have to think about what i felt, rather than knowing the one emotion, i had multiple. lol. thanks for entering.
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A little long for me and some of the writing is a little to blunt for my taste. The ending is such a sad surprise. I thought he might be dead but the ashes…. Very sad and touching.
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Wow, this is probably one of the most emotionally powerful I've read on here yet. The story it tells, and over such a great spanse of time yet it still holds the reader to the page.
Great work, you deserve each and everyone of these applauses all the way. -
I would have loved to give you more points but I'm holding another contest and didn't have enough, but I think you deserve more then just 50pts, because it was so close. Thank you so much for entering. I loved your poem. Keep the ink flowing.
-Abbie- -
thank you very much for taking yoour time to read my poetry. :::::::::::
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thank you so much for your lovely comment
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excellent
Very Very good.
I almost cried. You were too young to understand death? Or you were in denial? When my dad passed we played tag at his funeral because we didn't understand.
I thought this was one of the best poems I've read. Very good. Love how you set it up also. -
WOAH! That is so amazing. I have a wonderful relationship with my daddy; he's my best friend. This really hit home. Such innocense and beauty. Absolutely stunning. Imagery, Irony, just... WOW!
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I absolutly loved this, it flows so well and makes so much since and the structure really draws you in as a reader, it just makes you want to read farther. Sometimes it's hard to write a poem that elaspes over a long period of time without drawing it out, but you did excellent not making it to long so that the reader becomes disinterested. I love how the little girl still calls him daddy. I am so sorry if this actually happened to you. The emotions are so strong throughout the whole piece, and it has so much depth. This is exaclty what I was looking for. Thank you for entering and good luck in this contest and ones to come. Keep the ink flowing. Amazing write and once again I just loved this.
-Abbie-
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OMG its lucky i was already crying from eastenders. My dad died when i was 9. My mum didn't tell me he'd died. I'd ask her to take me to the hospital every day. every day she'd tell me "he'll be sleeping". Then one day she told me to put a little black dress on, and all the family was round my house. I remember my aunty looking at me shaking her head because i was jumping on the sofa. I thought we were going to a party. Instead she took me to the church. I realised then it was time to bury mi dad. I fell to the floor and crying till I was the last one to walk into the church. I'll never forget that day, And I'll never forget him.I'd write letters to him every week asking him to come home. I'd think he was with god just to visit till he was better, but he's never come back. I'm sorry im going on now.This was written so true to life, i prey it hasn't happened to you. The only bit i found abit strange was in one of the letters it says how she acted the puppy. that is very strong language for a girl hus still calling her dad daddy.I hope that didn't affend u in any way. An amazing write. All the best, Tazmin
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Remember this from before - so profound and a real tear jerker.
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this is so Poignant at the moment wow the feelings and the pain of a child 9 made stronger for me as my no 2 daughter is called Katie) loved it and nearly cried well done
Karen -
WOW!! this is so friggin sad i got tears in my eyes.. did this realy happen?????if so im really sorrya nd i hope everything works out for you.. good luck and keep up the awesome writing!!!
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Great
That was worth every word i read, my grandfather was a vet of nam. -
WOW!
Wow...that was awesome. Although I have been so far blessed and none of my loved ones have been sent to Iraq or Afghanistan, this really touched me. -
Oh God, I got chills and tears welled up in my eyes. I hit the applaud box before I even started this comment! I can't say I can relate to those who have loved ones in the war, but my heart and hopes go out to them that they can be reunited again. I have a close friend whose father is in Iraq right now for his second or third tour, and I see her pain and fear all the time. Kinda sweet in a way that the little kid doesn't know that's going on, an "ignorance is bliss" sort of thing, but did you mean to say that she found out in the very end?
-
WOW!
Reading this made me feel like a child again cept this time I wasnt sure just where I been, I felt so alone myself was to blame, did I make him leave was I all his shame. Its a good thing these thoughts were not for real and Im sorry if you lived through that ordeal, I like this here poem and I'll read it alot, two tours in the gulf and I'm glad I've not been shot. As sad as this is it reminds me of hope, I'm out of the military and now just a dope. When iwas a hero I felt so much better, always lookin forward to another letter. A letter from someone.....someone like her, a reason to fight a reason for sure. And if I hadnt of ever made it......if i slipped through a permanent crack, I know she'd know .......I'd always be watchin her back. This poem is sooooo special! I'll never forget it! -
Great Job- so sad- true for so many.
This was such a (gasp) sad story. You did it so beautiful and I thought Daddy had just left. I had a soldier dad but he came home alive. This with the background held me to the end and by then I had tears for a lonely little girl. The ending - the room filled with your perfume - was (gulp) perfect ending. Best regards on winning. Jackie -
I liked how you wrote from the child's perspective...told "Daddy" the things a child probably would consider significant. I had trouble reading with the moving background, but that might just be me.
Well done!
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great
wow, this brought tears at the end, truely a great write, I admire your boldness to write like this. -
lost, this was a very interesting tear jerker, yea the pain of war is great and I've family too, this was and in Veitnam. Been there (the Gulf) myself, for only a few months. Of course the thoughs are there, and it so difficult to think about not being there Permanently, My wife took of back to Germany with my little boy and now I can only see once a year, and I was closer to him then anyone else in our lives. SO, I now how it feels not to have that child around you or growing up without you. anyone sorry for the sob story. nice write.
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EXCELLENT
wow this is amazing! I love it. it made me cry. I'm sorry if this is true. but excellent job! you really have talent, don't stop writing! I don't see anything wrong with this. keep it up! -
I thought the poem was very nicely done. You did a wonderful job of writing from the eyes of a child. Great job picking the color of your type. It was easy to read against the background.
I think the wording you used was perfect in context with what you were writing. It was childlike and innocent. Very good read. -
Anytime,anytime
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wow. thabk u sweetie1. ur comments mean the world to me . I love taking critiques qether good or bad. Thank u so much for taking your time to read and comment
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Very sad without a touch of goreness. The backgrounds is very captivating,really. it just blends in.
As far as the poem goes:
The Format is darling. The flow is good and i had no difficulty whatsoever while i was reading it. Its tragic but i guess thats why its lovely. I did find it a bit boring at first but as i preeceded,the feeling started to sink in...I love my father, so i guess i can relate to it, this little "deed" you did.
Today I was mad
Because mommy was crying
I asked "what's wrong", she said "nothing bad"
But I knew she was lying
But I acted like a puppy, and did the bark
And then she felt a little better
And then she took me to the park
A little bit later
this was my favorite paragraph. it showcased a great deal of feeling for me, really deep ones. it happened to me once..YOu've done a darling write. keep it up....
Lots of philia, Dthoures.
P.S You dont suck honey...be optimistic. Sometimes it takes a little bit of courage, so be confident in yourself. k?
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EXCELLENT
This is one of the best poems i've ever read.It's soo sad and made my heart ache...It almost makes me cry.I love it and keep writin'. -
this was a very good read i enjoyed it was cute yet not too overboard, it had so much emotion and i hope to god that this wasnt true, it seemed at the start as if your father had just left but the ending was shocking, almost made me cry, once again well done i appreciate the time you spent to write this
very captivating
Stacey
xoxo -
Wow... 
"Soldier Daddy's" are always a touchy subject for me because I am the daughter of a Soldier Daddy, and I just couldn't imagine life without him , so this really broke me down, but it was a very emotive write. I don't know what else to say. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering ........................................ 
♥ Fancy -
*crying to hard to type*
u must love to see pple cry cause i am now -
wow this is so sad. i really liked the form of this poem, how you made us scroll down made it seem like little letters written to daddy. i just have one question....at the end, was it his urn she broke and his ashes all over the floor?
what place did you win in this by the way?
-
Good
A damn good poem and very sentimental at that -
heart wrenching
oh my... i am sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes. I have such a soft spot in my heart and this one really exposed it. You write this so very well. And I believe it to be an honest tribute as well as description of the way many people out there feel today. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of work -
this poem touched me deeply............ my father died, but i always knew, i hope this isnt written from a real experience but for contest perposes, this is a good write tho.
~~~Shawna~~~ -
wow. i loved your format. it really made each stanza sink in and it made you feel like you were waiting for somebody. this was really a sad poem. excellently written.
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great..
OH! WOW! SOS SO SAD WHOLE WAY THRU..
I FELT YOUR PAIN AS IT WERE MY OWN..
so very intense wrting here very nice ty for sharing..so so sorry for your loss.. -
so sad.but also very true.i all most couldnt finish reading it.
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Heartbreaking but oh so clever!
Dear Katie!Lovely but so sad.The way you scripted small letters is very effective and unique.You got into the mnid of a child very effortlessly andapplaud you for that. -
I can re-late. I think that you got a good point across. Very touching.
-
I remmeber reading this once before,
and it making me tear up..
and was a joy to find it once again since I have
yet to learn how to save fav poems for later viewing
once again I can feel this write
Blessings to you and to all the MOmmy and Daddys serving
GODSPEED
TeARS -
Outstanding
Wow, that's really good. I probably would have taken out all the periods, but that's my opinion. It was really good. -
wow.....that is soooooo sad...and for me..my dad wasn't with me in my childhood and i always missed him..this poem is incredible..i love the way u wrote it...amazing..congrat on ur win.... i will love for u to enter my contest
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Oh.My.Gosh. This made me cry. And miss my daddy . I just moved away from him, and I had no choice. I'm 16 but when it comes to him I feel 6 again. I miss everything we used to do, that he suddenly stopped doing. He didn't act like my dad anymore. But this is so much sadder than that....Oh man...very deep indeed.
-x- -
WAAAAAAAAAH! THIS IS SOO TOTALLY SAD OMGOSH! SOO DEEP! I LOVE IT! KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!
-
Wiping tears away
Oh my, this brought tears to my eyes...okay, i am full blown crying..but this is wonderfully written. I know what its like to lose a parent..this is sad...and very good.
Thanks for sharing.
Tammy
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I actually know a little girl named Sarrah you could have wrote this just for her.. Her Daddy Steve died in Iraq.. he was one of the best men in the world.. Thank You for making me think of him today.. Though he really isn't far from my mind, I needed this.. Take Care, Catressa
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Oh my!! This is a fabulous write. The ending is nothing what I expected and now I can't stop crying. You are extremely extremely talented. Very well written. Keep up the fabulous work!
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great
omg i got chills reading it...but it is really great i loved it..hope u read some of mine and ill read some more of your writings keep writing and write some more lyk that...Jess -
Excuse me while I try to swallow the lump in my throat...
This was so sad and well constructed. Not what I expected at first, but that's a good thing. Your talent definitely shines through in this poem. Well done. -
I never had my father away, but my sister was cremated. I kno how it feels to see just a box and kno that there is someone you love burnt. I loved this poem and it shows a true meaning to families who have family and friends go into war. Good job.
Tears
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wow
Wow..... What is there possibly to say to something like this? Nothing. I guess this hit me so hard because I had a "soldier Daddy" and I can remember writing letters mirroring the ones you've wrote, But I never had to face the tragedy of losing my father. Thank God.
This was a truly emotional poem, Wow.. I'm speechless. Thank you for sharing this with us all. God Bless..
♥ Mena
P.s I applaud you for this wonderfully written poem.
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great poem
Wow this is such a great poem it mad me sad. great great great poem good job. -
Wow! I have nothing more to say then wow! Incredible
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wwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, holy shit, i just cried my eyes out....how touching, i am ever so sorry if this is about you, this story is truly amazing, and the write is truly awesome, i felt so much emotion, and i can relate to this alot, exept my dad was never there, he didnt die...... beautiful, thank you for sharing it with us all, you are truly blessed, and talented
-beth -
oh wow this is so beautiful and sad. touched my heart. beautiful write, thanks for featuring it - worth the read. awesome write, keep em up
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Oh my gosh... It's an incredible poem! I'm reading this at work, and I can't stop crying! It's so beautiful. Great job!! I hope this isn't true. It's just so heartbreaking... but it's such a beautiful write. Excelent Job! You deserve the appluase more than anyone else I've ever given it to.
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O.o soo...sooo sad lol, Good job, this was really great.
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off the hook, at first i didn't get it, i truly loved this heartfilled piece, great job!! can you comment on my work or my sis poeticgenius44, she's a hott poet, loved this so much thanks for the enjoyment
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wow chills umm that was incredible. that was an ending that ud never guess i mean u lead on that he died but wow that was great
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100
This sent shvers down my spine - so touching and real. This was wonderful! -
it is always sad to read about these kind of poems. I hate them very much but on the other hand, i love them. It usually shows a vibrant picture that you cannot get anywhere else. Due to the fact that those kind of poems often seem very powerful and meaningful, it keeps the reader on edge and urging for more. Anyway, I think the piece you have created here is no more than magnificent. Although it is indeed sad, I love your thoughts and the way you manage to make the entire poem flow without any difficulties. Keep up the great work and God bless you
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this is an excellent write. i love it, it is so sad. it touched my heart. sad to know that a little girl didnt have any idea that her father died. good job!
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This poem was good.Very good build up to conclusion.The poem had good flow,rhythm and reasonable rhyme.The story of the poem is somewhat sad and it was unfortunate that the persona was not able to be reunite with her dad....
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Oh wow...the little letters were filled with som much feeling and longing. If that doesn't make someone want to cry, then the ending of it will. I was chocked when I realized what was in the box. This was a great write that lets you feel everything along with the character. It's very emotional and sad. I wouldn't wish this for anyone but you've done a great job describing something so hard to grasp and come to terms with.
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This made me so emotional...I am dripping tears into keyboard as I key this...wow. Amazing. Powerful...yet so simple. This is excellent.
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Excellent, this was sad but touching. The innocence of the child still made it worse, not knowing her fathers been there hidden in the URN. Great Write.
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wow this poem is very touching.. i got goosebumps i know what your going through that happen to me before.. if this is true of you when you were a little kid. yeah but my dad wasnt gone for 3 years almost a year at the most... but nice write and somehow i can relate to it!!!! Shannon Leah
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omgsh this gonna make me cry omgsh this is so good i love it...good job in showing emotion and the little girl not really knowing what was going on....great write keep it up..bye
~*~Kristen~*~ -
forgot the applause
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OMG i am crying... wow... that was so sad... i loved the style that you used... my uncles were both in the military and both passed away there... and my brother might ... i know how sad this must be if this really happen to you... im sorry... and omg thiswas so sad... al ittle girl not even understanding what happen... wow... great write... kank
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wow - very sad - yet real
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wow... that's really sad... but really good!
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Excellent and couldn't have been made better. Full of emotion. I applaud you.
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This is probably one of the most original ideas for a poem I have ever seen, and so wonderful and touching as well. Great job.
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Oh my God. This poem is soooooooo sad. It made me cry. The ending was sad. Half way through the poem I was hoping it was a happy ending but I figured it wouldn't be. This poem was interesting how it was letters from the little to her daddy. Great write.
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wow..
this poem is touching.. heartbreaking,so terribly sad to read..
it was written-in one word,perfectly..
you wrote it EXTREMELY well..
great wording..
great flow.. loved how it was written
in letter form..
it was just perfect. Fantastic job on this..
one of the best poems i have read.
GREAT write. Keep at it.
Edited on Aug 01, 1:50 p.m. because ''. -
I understood this and it was really sad. The way you put this into a little girl and showed so much emotion just made me get goosebumps. I go into the marines here really soon and there is a good chance of me going to Iraq. I wanted kids before I went but after this I dont. I dont want to do this to a kid. Thanks for writing this very emotional piece. !
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This is beautifully moving. Such innocence in a tragedy. Although I didn't quite get some of the American references (What is a Chukee'Cheeses?), I found this evocative and very personal.
The fact that you wrote it from a child's point of view - as opposed to an adolescent or teen-ager puts weight on the words...Wonderful and haunting
~Liadan -
incredible
i have goosebumps from reading this. i appauded you and you deserve so many more. this is heartwrenching and sad and beautiful all at the same time. extremely emotional.
x0x -
this is fucking amazing. this is the most emotional, saddening, beautiful, raw, AMAZING poem EVER. i will applause this wen i get more applauses.
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This was SO sad! That poor little girl. It's really hard for a kid to have parents in the military. My parents aren't, but my Uncle is, and I see how it is for his little girl. He's always busy with duty, and other things. But he's the type that is always there for his little girl, no matter how far away he is. This was an excellent write, wonderfully done. Keep up the good work!
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critical
this poem broke my heart! I felt sick at the ending, I want to cry! So good........very well written and unbelievably sad. Keep it up! -
Good
This is sad.....the end almost made me cry... I am sorry if you lost someone in this war I am sorry the world is so unkind other will tell you just keep your head up things will get better... I lost someone how killed them selfs that was 8 years ago it hasen't gotten any better for me to know that he is not here but now that we have this war going on and these people killing them selves just to hurt others does make me think it was for the best I hope you NEVER forget the person he was and always remember he is in a place better then me or you could ever dream of good luck in all your writes and all you do -
I really enjoyed reading this,it was touching.The ending was magnificent.
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Oh my god this is so sad!!! I hope this was'nt a true story because that is just really traumatic. That will definatly touch the hearts of many military soldiers and military family. Thanks for writing something so creative and thoughtful.
~Laurie -
Such an emotional piece..didn't see that ending coming. Tearful. The form of short letters worked pretty well here, well done.*sniff*
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That is so sad. I started crying. I've always been apart of the military. my parents were military my husband was military and some of my best friends were military. it's hard to go though such things.......not knowing if when they leave if they will come back again. You did a wonderful job writting from a child's prospective. great write keep it up ~calentice~
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awesome
awww this is so sad....great job!! i love how u expressed all the emotions of losing a dear father in the little girls point of view...nice work!! -
superb
wow a moving poem indeed ...it hit home with me..and all the childrens fathers who don't come home ...tear ..so sad ..peace -
So sad it made me cry
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Wow.One of the saddest poems I've ever read.Awesome poem.Very sad.Very touching. Keep up the good work.
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Poor Katie You really did a good job writing this in the eyes of a small child. Keep up the good work.
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great job it brought tears to my eyes and it has me worried now because my fiance is going into the reserves very soon anyway good job
~Kris~ -
i absoulutly love this poem. its really really sad though did it happen to you. i like the way at the end you talk about the way you smelled the ashes. im guessing they were the persons dads ashes. and hes dead and nobody told her. i like it alot. im off to read more of your poetry if its this good. well well done.
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Excellent
Very touching! In a world where wars are started by people with vague excuses in the name of freedom and democracy, ignorant of the consequences, naive in their expectations, driven by materialistic values and the thirst for power, it is not fair to deprive children of their parents just because of that. It is a difficult topic everywhere, but I am really encouraged by the fact that you are from the USA writing this. Keep spreading the word! -
this is so very moving and almost haunting in a way. Its a very moving because its written from a child's point of view and it always gets straight to our hearts. Thank you for sharing
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Fantastic
oh this is so sad...it has so much emotion to it....its just amazing!!! It just oh.....great great great poem and I loved it...keep up the fantastic work!!!! -
i totally agree with everything u say. that's why i wrote this. i'm so hurt too. i can't belive htis has to be happening, u klnow? This is not apersonal thing that i wrote, but i tried to be in a little girl's point of view. thank u so soso much for ur feedback, it means so much more than u think. Thanx a lott!
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I did understand the ending immideately as I did the entire poem that spanned over the years. This is absolutely beautiful in its sadness (an oxymoron eh? beauty and sadness)It packed a powerful punch , I felt as if I was being hit right in the stomach with every stanza that followed the previous one , and it has made me think...these times that we are in now, how many children are going through that....how many are missing soldier daddy and how many will never see him again. I am angry at this war.......I am angry at the government, we are not getting a damned thing accomplished , but killing a lot of innocent soldiers of our own and a lot of innocents in Iraq......we have to speak up . ENOUGH already Mr. Bush, bring them home , or better yet....go there yorself , hell even the airspace over Washington DC is protected ...what protection do our fighting men and women have ???? I do apologise for my rant , but this hurt...it really got to me
Reenie
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