Below the ocean waves she lies,
a beauty far beyond our lives.
This Green Mistress sits in sorry,
hurtled into a world of no tomorrow.
She's alone in this world of water,
and can never seem to please her father.
And so she sits and thinks of love-
of legs, and sun, and the world above.
And there he was, her Prince of Dreams
with a loving heart, and a crown that gleams.
To Lady Witch of ocean's caves,
a contract made and a song she saves.
A trade of feet for a lovely voice,
a fin is lost in a final cry of rejoice.
To the world of light where her true love awaits.
He takes her through his castle gates.
And in good company, a love did grow.
A marriage now, and a family row.
But this love could not last.
You see, she was already of his past.
With another he shared himself,
and placed his mute wife on a shelf.
She soon found out and he broke her heart.
She knew that this was her time to part.
At Midnight's hour she strolled the beach
where the Moon's reflection her soul could reach.
She gave her children one last kiss
then took a blade across her wrist.
She's falling now into the Unknown.
Her body disintegrates- she's sea foam,
back once more in the ocean waves
never to return again.
But every night on her death's eve
she comes to her children's window while they sleep.
Still wearing her rusted wedding ring,
with her Spirit's renewed voice she sings:
"Tell me,
tell me.
I want to know:
what it is
takes no rain to grow?
What is a story
that has no end?
What sheds no tears
though it's weeping within?
"Foolish child,
oh- didn't you know:
a stone it is
takes no rain to grow.
The story of 'I love you',
it has no end.
A heart sheds no tears
though it's weeping within.
Author notes
Option 1: love. I suppose it could also go under as option 7:betrayal.
This is my twisted version of The Little Mermaid.
The two final stanzas are from an old Russian folk song that has always stuck in my head...
A contest entry
- Everyone's INVITED by DreamingMoon.
400 points, ended December 16, 2005, 76 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love and Regret by Voodoo Eyes.
600 points, ended July 1, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options !! [PW ALLOWED!] by innocence jaded.xx.
625 points, ended July 13, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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This is incredible ! I loved it :] You did such a wonderful job with this. Every word was so powerful & full of emotion. I really liked how you wrote this, too. Thank you so much for entering & I wish you the best of luck ! ♥
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Thanks. This is one of a few poems I'm actually proud of lol. I'm currently checking out your other contest-going to try to enter it.
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Astounding!
This is so beautiful. Good story, flow, emotions. Simply lovely. I don't usually applaud enteries (this'll actually be the first one I've ever done it for) but I must now. Thank you kindly for entering!
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fab
well done. this is the best work since-well, ever!
kissjess
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Wow, thank you so much! It's nice to get compliments lately, since it's been a while since I've posted a whole lot.
Thank you again,
^..^ ~Scarlet~ ^..^ -
judged...( give me a moment I'm speechless right now) ok that's better...judged superior- Masterly,wondeful...this should be published.
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I like ur quote. My friend Matt once told my teacher: My printer ate my homework. Kinda reminded me of it.
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very beautiful write. thank you.
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Thank you. I wanted it to be very sad, and I suppose that I achieved that.
Thank you again for the comment-
^..^ ~*Scarlet*~ ^..^ -
It was a beauty. Made me almost want to cry. Love, Lonesome, Regret, and Sadness. beautifully written.
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Wow, that was.. great! No other word for it. Your talent is one to be applauded. Wonderful job.
Yours with blessings,
Shadow of Doubt -
great
wow this is kick a.ss!!!!! I love it -
amazing!!!
This is absolutley great! It flows sooo smoothly and it's one of the most creative poems I've ever read!
Keep it up!
Deserves all the applause in the world! -
Thanks...I'm glad to see that you're back! Welcome home!
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WOW once again I am at a loss for words!
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Thank you, hon. Really this is closer to the original version of The Little Mermaid, because she dies and becomes seafoam originally. I just wanted to add a twist of him cheating on her, then she kills herself. Thank you again!
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Once again... those are perfect words for the situation because I just got out of my writer's bock! Thank you very much!
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This is really a great twist and very vivid. It kept my attention the whole time. Very very good, and Best Of Luck in the contest. With regards too, moi
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You are once again at your best.
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not so twisted, quite the contrary, it is full of hope and joy edged with love, sorry and regret, absolutely befitting to a mermaid...thank you for entering and good luck
freda
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