The battle between two personalities has begun.
In my own eyes... I can see the things that are wrong.
In my mind... I can't see anything at all.
I can fight with my self for hours on what I should and shouldn't do.
All that happens is one part of me is torn to shreds and the other dancing for victory.
But every time it comes to a decision of my own,
The worse half wins.
I get thoughts of guilt and depression when I make the wrong mistakes.
Why can't I just win on both sides for once.
Make everyone happy,
Even myself.
Face it... it's just a dream in my own little world.
Never coming true, I hope to death I'd win.
The battle between two personalities has begun.
I can never win with myself.
Every time I try I always lose.
It's not a game that lasts for a couple of hours...
It's an eternal war that will never end.
No victory.
No loss.
I make the wrong decision when I know I shouldn't,
And when I know what the right one is.
I can never win.
The battle has been fought,
And it is on to another before the war.
When it comes to the war,
The only solutions will be life or death.
Until then I will have to fight in the many battles that face me.
The battles between two personalities has begun.
Author notes
For those of you who know me, you should know that I have a split personality disorder aswell as many other disorders.
This is just a view of what it is like and a reason as to why my appearence and personality changes so often.
Written July 12th, 2005
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Split personality or not, you say you know you choose the wrong one in advance, so don't worry there is hope, just keep working on making the part of you that you know should win stronger, like all things it will take time, but it beats going on like this for ever. as you can probably tell i have been through similar in my own mind, and although it's different for all of us, make no mistake that it's just as hard, nothing in life that is worth anything real is easy is what I've come to learn but the harder it is the more triumphant you can feel for making even the smallest breakthroughs. I hope you don't take offense just trying to help as I have been through so much myself and hate to see others going through similar as I know how bad it can feel sometimes especially when you feel like you're alone and no-one understands. I really Identified with this good work.
Edited on Jul 17, 7:22 because ''. -
wow this is really good i really enjoyed reading this good job
love,
Brandie
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