innocence of day
raped away by night,
no way to resist,
powerless to fight,
imprisoned within himself
his bloodlust rages,
killing them
one by one.
he lurks in the shadows
hunting his prey,
it must be done
before the start of day,
haunted by spirits
he ravages the lands,
with a vengence filled heart
and bloodstained hands.
Author notes
just a quick write..
Written July 11th, 2005
A contest entry
- Creatues Lurking at Night by Piece 2 My Puzzle.
375 points, ended July 13, 2005, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Great job - a really powerful message - i cant wait to read more of yours
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The first four lines are like a thousands knives in my back. They ring so clear and true, like the rain the falls onto the grass and into the dirt. I liked this becuase it all had great emotion and was powerful great work.
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I love it! I can't tell you how much! It's mysterious yet feirce! It's amazing! Write more please!!!
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wow, this is an absouledly amazing write. It is very creative ,and very interesring. Great job, I like it. You are very taletned!
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I do agree with LdyBrknWing it 's a good poetry. I think you are very talented
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This is great, makes me want to go watch a scary movie...
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I have never been able to write much on fantasy and things of that nature, but you seem to have a talent for it x3d the piece it was fantastic
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This may be just "a quick write," but it's very definitely a good one! You are obviously a very talented poet! This had a really good flow, and feeling to it! You made good use of imagery; I could not only picture this "tortured soul" roaming in those shadows, destined to be cursed, to walk by night, forever, but you put a good bit of "feeling" in this. You made me, if even briefly, care about the character. (And that's not easy to do in such a short poem!) A very good write!
Paula -
This was really good. I like dark/weird poetry. The darker the better. The weirder the better. I like your though. Keep on writing. You're poem was really good.
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It's very imaginative and it flows very well. I think this is quite goiod for a quick write, but I can't honestly say I understand it, I think it's a bit too deep for me. Good luck in the contest though.
~noir
~
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Good job.keep em coming.
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What I liked: the rhythm was really nice, and you paint a very intriguing atmosphere.
What I didn't like: I think the character was two-dimensional, and you do not reveal what exactly motivates him -- or what it is like to be inside his head. -
very nice but is it applying to anyone particular???
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i love this. very fantasy like, but its great!! good write!
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I like this, very imaginative, very good.
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That was an enjoyable read! I really like the descriptive language you used. And the first two lines really DID hook in the reader. Keep up the good work!
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wow. thats really a cool poem. i love it! nicely written and it flows great! keep up the awesome work, and best of luck to you in the contest
<3 sam <3 -
very well written, great imagination
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Hey Sweetie,
Thanks for entering this contest. First off I love the first 2 lines.. It really hooks the reader.. It flowed nicely.. it caught me and i was surpised.. At first i thought it was going to be a rhyming poem.. but it wasn't this is a big improvement from some of your forced poems.. I really liked this one.. and the ending was just.. wonderful.. gave a great defined image at the end.. lovely job..best of wishes.. xoxo-Chrissy -
This was pretty good for a "quick write" I loved it alot...great job
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