you slowly part
your sour lips
so
"tickle me pink"
[Without the Affection]
unlike any color you choose
to \draw me in\
you carefully select
the somber shades
you found only
in draining your acid
self
down
in your ivory Reminiscent Tub.
And all I am seeking
is you cherry lacquered lips
speaking
[Without the Words]
I am sorely
solely
hoping
the apple of my eye
will feed your strawberry lips
delight.
Author notes
finding inspiration in everyday things
like a crayola box.
i love you
Written July 10th, 2005
A contest entry
- Lovelorn? by Saint Chaos.
400 points, ended November 21, 2005, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow. that was utterly beautiful. you are a master of imagery. many poems i read the first line and give up on them (dismissive I know) but this one really drew me in. an absolute treasure of a poem. i shall continue to read more of your work.
x -
I love the use of colours and fruit, thats always drawn me in
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hey this was great! w0ot crayons are soooo inspirational. Very colorful (hehehe) poem, full of great imagery. good job.
nick -
I have been favoring free-verse lately. This has a nice rythm to it. It draws me in, but doesn't keep me there. It seems repeditive somehow. Good job though.
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Wow, this is great! It's very discriptive and the inspiration is really original and superb! Great format and flow, too! Keep up the excellent work! I can't wait to read more of your poems soon. Brilliant job.
MOlly -
I started to first read it, and i got confused and lost and then i read your comments and then everything made sense. I love this its so complex and you did a great job on description. great job and keep it up! Could you poss. take a look at some of my poems?
Karen
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