Tears stream down a tired face
Sleep constantly drifts away
Thoughts and feelings flow while
Pain and suffering come out to play
Tears roll onto a blood stained sheet
Sleep only brings nightmares
Thoughts get distracted by heat
Pain only brings temporary release
Tears aren't remembered
Sleep will always haunt us
Thoughts and memories slowly fade but
Pain stays with it's reminders
Author notes
Written July 10th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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this poem is very sad (i no this is your syle) but again if u ever need to talk call me wuv ya (and i no how much pain hurts... if u get wot im sayin)..
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this poem is supadupagood
it's so emotional that it made me quiet for a moment (and that's hard)
~blessed be~
Evi -
very good
This poem fits the mood I'm in your put into words what im feeling at the moment -
wow, i know this feeling all to well, and i loved this peice thanks for entering and good luck to you
blessed be
kim -
This is seriously one of the best out of the subject ive read very well written *Amanda
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Raw emotion. I liked it.
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This is A M A Z I N G! I LOVE IT! Short poems hardly ever, I mean, EVER do anything for me, but you made this work, mostly because it is what I am going through in my life right now. I cant sleep without having terrible nightmares, I actually wake up with bruises and scratches because I beat myself in my sleep. I cut, and the pain only does bring temporary relief. This is great. I loved it. Thank you so much for entering my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!
~*SHANTALINA MARIE*~ -
a very emotional and dark write. you create some good imagery with your words and let the reader know of suffering. nicely done. best of luck in the contest <3
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this is cool....
suffering is experienced and we can only express what we can n words.you did this with words.i applaud you. *claps*
"Thoughts and feelings flow while
Pain and suffering come out to play"
i like how you put "pain and suffering" like they had characteristics..."come out to play". nice approach on that style and format.
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hey sis
Very inspirational and emotional! I loved the whole thing and im gnna bookmark it.
xxxxxxx from ya sis
marsie
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This is very emotional. This is short, but ets the point accross perfectly. Great job. Keep up the awesome work. Thank you very much for entering your work into my contest. I wish you the best of Luck.
Yours, With wishes of many blessings,
Shadow of Doubt -
1-10=10 well done well written
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Love It
full of suffering and emotional feelings within it you've paint the picture within the piece out soo emotionally and full of sorrow WELL DONE!
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this is actually really good!!!! i like the whole thing. plus i like reading poems that have stanzas. but good job!!
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LOVED the last stanza. Short... but gets the point across. It's a wonderful write, so I do wish it was a little longer, but I believe you said what you wanted to say, and that's the point of it. The rhyming seemed a little forced, but the flow was fine. I liked how the title entwined with the stanzas - as each stanza began with "tears", though it never sounded repetitive, and.. It's amazing to think what kind of mind must have transformed these thoughts into words so beautifully put together as this. It'sd quite a mind-bender. Thanks
Great Job and Good Luck in the contest ^_^
~Mist~ -
Not Good? It was amazing!!!!!
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Very nice done. I think the words are beautifully put together, and the poem all together deep and heart-felt. The flow was good and the rhyme is good. Good luck!
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Very good poem. I could actually see an image of a girl laying down on her bed, sleeplessly, crying. Almost as if she was terrified to go to sleep.... Hmmm.... I love it!
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I liked th way it was set out, each stansa hit you, then let you breathe then you read another which hit you again, short and precise. The write itself brings out allot of subdued emotion, its like the voice in the poem is haunted, so hurt, that they jsut dont care anymore, a good write
grats
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Love it.
Good structure, two ryhmes per stanza but the last one, interestng indeed. I enjoyed reading. Short poetry always makes you hunger for more from the poet.
Well done. -
Yer i like this one.. it's emotional and good.. i didn't know you had it in you to write like this
good write well done x
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this is a good piece, but you're right. i think it could use some expounding and work. it's raw at the moment, but in time, it will be a marvelous masterpiece. good job, good luck, and thanks for the read!
~ryan -
Hey guys above stop stealing wot i'm gonna say, bunch of . . . anyway this is rele amazing and heartfelt and stop saying ur poetry isn't good cause it fucking is
Tom -
aww this is really heartfelt like silver said and its absolutly amazing. Obviously something bad has probably happened to you and if you EVER need to talk just IM me because I probably have been there and if i havent i will listen and help you anyway you can.
Great write
keep it up and well done
Love Zoe -
Love It
this is such a heartfelt poem hon
and I can understand the situation that you're in now I'm always here sweetie only an IM away you could tell me anything even the worst for I'm still a teenager and I can understand it:glove yuo awlays
Mom
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