would you die for me,
as you ink your love into your skin,
would you die for me,
would you die for me?
the caffeine you swallow,
the advil soon will follow,
as you become so hollow
and bleed your filthy sorrow.
drown in sin
as we do it again,
and beg to be let in,
while you rot within,
for now the glitters harden
and the dying candles of the garden
secretly ask your divine pardon.
would you die for me,
as the glam eats your candy heart,
would you die for me,
as the fur of your coat veils your pain,
would you die for me,
sugar?
Author notes
number 8...nothing much but i whipped it up in about 5 minutes. happy, seph? lol..
*edit*
needed a little work to flow a bit better. didn't change but a word or two.
Written July 9th, 2005
A contest entry
- Ten Words by eightyeightkeys.
300 points, ended July 18, 2005, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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such a powerful question to ask... and a hard question to answer. i like how this was written though, you said u wrote it in 5 minutes... sheesh thats really awexome work for that short of time. Good word choice too.
keep on writing
<\3lauren -
hey I love your work as usual it always flows well. Im not a huge fan of rhyming but you can pull it off so that I can actually stand it. Great job my brother.
Jennifer -
Interesting, very weird. I agree that the "as the glam eats your candy heart" being a wonderful line.
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Wonderful Job, this was my favorite part.
would you die for me,
as the glam eats your candy heart,
would you die for me,
as the fur of your coat veils your pain,
would you die for me,
sugar? -
Wow Brandon darling, though I really did like this poem. Your flow was pretty good, I'm not one for the rhyming, too much of it in my opinion. However, it works in the end, and adds to the flow. Word usage is rad as usual. Just wonderful. Good luck in the contest.
Hearts.
Leah -
I seriously love you for the "glam eats your candy heart" line, super neato! Good luck!
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No I am not >_< lol, : P you rhyme very easily. and I got distracted by oreos just now so I don't remember where I was going with that. I liked the poem, it's nifty. Good luck with the contest.
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