Marriage Divorce
I love you then I hate you now
Our tears of joy Did turn to growls
Forevers love lies In un-hearing ears
Beauty of our years Have rusted in tears
The loving sighs The harsh goodbye
Glorius start A broken heart
Love till end End of love
Heart lend Heart mend
Always The end
You Me
W E
Author notes
Written July 9th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Very unique
I love the shape of the broken heart and the imagery is great, However a few notes, The color makes it very hard to read, maybe bold it so it can be easier! But other than that it is excellent and fits this contest well with the images and picking up the pieces! I love how each side flows to the other side left right left...I don't know if you intended it that way but its great! I love this:
The harsh goodbye
Glorius start A broken heart
Love till end End of love
Heart lend Heart mend
Thanks for entering and good luck!
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I really like your blood red broken heart,well done
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Very cleverly constructed form poem ...
perfect!
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u know, i entered a REALLLLLY LOOOONG COMENT to this explaining why i like it so much and other stuffs...and now..ITS GONE!!! gosh, sometimes allpoetry can be annoying...anywayz..great job!!!
{however, i think you *can* improve the line that says love till end, end of love...its good, but you know, for some reason to me, it sounds kinda...hmm...how can i say it...it doesnt blend in...}
OTHER THAN THAT:
AMAAZZIZNNGNGNGNNGNNGNGNNGNGNGNNNNNGNGNGNNGGNGNG
hahah, keep writing!!!
it was really good, especially the shape of the heart, because well... it actually looks like a heart!!!!
img src='/s/images/smile/tongue.gif'img src='/s/images/smile/tongue.gif'img src='/s/images/smile/tongue.gif'>
haha..
BYE~!!!
<3 -
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...,,,;;; WOW!!! ;;;,,,... -
What fascinated me is the presentation of this poem...very creative. An excellent piece fashioned in a very tasteful way. Great! Goodluck to you.
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Great job. The beauty of love and the harshness of hate.
Awesome. -
very good
exelent work and great image ,very good work my friend , a heart broken in two is a sad thing indeed. good luck in the contest with this great shape poem
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this is the thought that came to my mind after reading this: I HATE you...AND I LOVE YOU!!!! LOL< i really dont hate you i just hate that you write so well, and that i have no choice but to love you becuz this is so sweet and to the point and truly expressive and lovely and wow i'm really going crazy about this. i love it so dearly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can i just post this on my wall and read it forever becuz it is just so creative and sad but still so lovely and heartfelt, describes everything perfectly. oh i wish i wrote this!
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Wow, I think that this was writen exelently. it flows well and has power to it. nice job, -(Dark Raven, the bard)
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I really enjoyed the two sides... battling almost. The day and night. And the shape of a broken heart just made it all the better
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good poem as mentiond by others i like the broken heart shape the style is wonderfull and so is the way the words flow together you are extreamly talented and i hope you win the contest beast of luck
-aa lost and lonely muse -
nice job on this i like how the poem followed the shape of a broken heart...well awesome poem...best of luck to you in the contest
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Richard, you really swept the competition I think with this one.
You sure must have had some time on your hands! Ha, I shall never be patient enough to even attempt to make a picture out of a poem. I give you mass amounts of credit, though. You had such a great idea going for you, and it really turned out very well.
- Justin (oh, and best of luck placing in the contest!) -
... uhhh so nice and originally portraying love and divorce.
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This poem was written very well... I loved how you made the heart also that was really cool. (I like those stone poems) that's what they call it on what you did...
Good Luck in the contest
~Jenn~ -
Muddy, great job! I love how you made it look like a broken heart. The wordsmithing of turning a positive phrase to a negative one by, for the most part just rearranging the words is quite unique and very well done. Great job and good luck in the contest.
~Lyrical
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