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Band

I will play the clarinet
Because it's the cheapest one to get
I'm really good, just wait and see
Soon you'll all want to play like me

Marching, playing and squeaking
The trombones are all leaking
That's really nasty, all that spit
All these reeds taste like shit

I'm a band geek, yes it's true
I'm really (probably) better than you
Nah, I'm just kidding, it's just a gag
Our director would kill us if we start to brag

We stand still until we faint or die
Or until we break down and cry
We cannot lie down or sit, just stand
This is how it is in band


Author notes

This is about my band (Marian Catholic) WOO! This is a slight exaggeration of the truth, see, because I SUCK!
Oh well, enjoy.
I commented on "Suicide Note"
And "In the Eyes of my Flute" by IridescentEccentric
and  "Twisted World" by tapballet

I really do play Soprano Clarinet, but suck at it... I mean, I only use 2 1/2 reeds... how sucky can you get *cries*
Written July 8th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • lilpbnjam
    July 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    PS...It is BY FAR not the cheapest instrument to get ...my newest calrinet was 3500


  • PoeticallyPathetic
    July 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    "That's really nasty, all that spit
    All these reeds taste like bunny"

    That didn't rhyme and kind of messed up the flow of the poem.

    "We stand still until we faint or die"

    I liked that line though since it's so true.

  • lilpbnjam
    July 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Well... This was a last minute entry I was def not expecting. I liked it though... Although I MUST disagree... I think reeds taste AWESOME! well new ones at least!

    Rhyming- Hey well you did rhyme... sounded a little forced though, so it wasn't too original either.

    Vocab- Vocab was a bit underaged I would say.

    Rules- You follwed all but putting Lineet Rules in your comments

    Flow- This flowed off a bit. I thought maybe becuase the rhymes were a tad bit forced...

    Put togetherness- This went together well, but I wasn't overly thrilled with it.

    Okay.. here we go's!!!

    Rhyming 8
    Vocab 7
    Rules 9
    Flow 7
    P. 2gther 8

    39/50. Not bad. I liked it, but it wasn't quite what I was looking for!!

    Have a great day! GL

    <3 JaclyN