breathing gently
seeing calm
emotions of
new, and exciting
thoughts are traped
here in my room,
with time passing
and anger rising
hope is all that
i will find here
althou it's nice
to be outside,
with the spirits
of others, my room
is the place i need
to be
with not a worry at all
and not a thing to
loose, here i sit in
my room
Author notes
Written July 8th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Spot by pepper this.
350 points, ended July 9, 2005, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
mmmmm......my room is my sanctuary, anyone in there without permission is DEAD meat!
im a loving angel really! this is awesome and shows exactly how people can feel about their beloved rooooooooom *huggles roon very tightly*
keep it up love
polly -
My room sucks.. want to trade? lol its all pink in here except my bed and that is white.. god I hate this color..lol
great job
Joyus Kiddey -
6/10
Seems a bit choppy for my tastes, for the short lines it needs to be in center form but you need to make the stanzas look balanced as well as read balanced. also stanza three line one you said 'althou' I believe you wer going for 'although' unless you misspelled it intentionally for line size purposes (which I could see because it does help, but not enough)
Oh yeah and don't get mad you are free to ignore me if you think I'm 'screwing with your words'..wouldn't want someone to think that I'm doing that now would I..*grumble*
Anyways other than that not bad.
Ta-Ta,
Emonquente -
I remember having my own room *sigh* It was nice.
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