*This is just a quick poem I wrote. Nothing to artistic about it, but it flowed good and I submitted it.*
I'll write you a song
With a nice melody
And the thoughts of my dearest
Desires for thee
I'll jot down a letter
That I'm sure in time
Will reach to your heart
Start that old smile divine
I'll draw a painting so sad
It could make shadows weep
To join with the tears
That have sunk in so deep
I'll write you poem
Of the girl on my mind
Spilling out old emotions
On every line
I'll put all these things
In a book about Love
And as soon as your gone
I'll know that its done
Author notes
This is just a quick poem I wrote. Nothing to artistic about it, but it flowed good and I submitted it. I know its a bit corny but if you liked it, id love to hear your critique!
Written July 7th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
romantic
I loved it
:'D
it sounds quite artistic to me, and it is romantic, which is a killer plus. Gotta love being romantic, I think its the foundation and the "main" part of being poetic, is having something romantic to write, great poem. -
Not only is this beautiful, it was posted on my birthday. Way to go!
-
This is artistic, a book of love for the girl in your life, very romantic.
-
Hm,it looks like I didn't critique this piece.I thought I did..oh well.What do you mean there's nothing artistic about this!?The way this was detailed and written out made this piece very pleasing to read.It was absloutely beautiful!The tone was just amazing,I thought.Take care,
D.R.
Edited on Jul 30, 3:42 p.m. because 'i felt like it...'. -
i really like this its great!i like the way it flows!great work
-
A pleasant poem with a twist in the end. The metre and rhyme seem fine and. as you say, it flows well.
Poetically it is good. I just hope it's not true. You write about doing wonderful things for someone and end up saying all you're doing is putting them in a book... No wonder she's gone.
Send the letter, give her the picture!
And please don't start each verse with illness. Ill is not the same as I'll.
Jim S -
i like this alot. I'm not very into rhyming poems but this works nicely and doesnt sound contrived. nice work.
-
good
this poem is very good
flowing and smooth
i love it -
intersing
this poem flowed good and shows much emotion good wrtie -
aww! this is beautiful! it doesnt matter how long it took, the end result was awesome! it flowed nicely and it seemed well thought out, the ending gave it a hint of sadness, not too much, but just enough1 great write!
luv always
~Tiffany -
This may have been quick, but the heartfelt emotion is so beautiful that I'm sure other readers will forgive you. Corny and trite have nothing to do with this poem; love is refreshingly beautiful. Don't worry, this poem was great.
-
Excellent
I really love this poem...I found it so pretty, with beautiful, words..Your talent shines in this write...Very pretty!
Be blessed,
Betty
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
7 old applause
