"SNOGGO Meets A Terrfying Monster And Conquers It Without Too Much Trouble"
(SNOGGO's Third Intercontinental Adventure)
by
Edna Sweetlove,
his amenuensis
That fucking dangerous horrific and scary beast would not terrify me. Who was I? Some little stupid fucking weedy spastic? No, I was the great fearless SNOGGO! Yes! Yes! Yes! I was the magnificent SNOGGO who had faced (without flinching much) so many humunguously terrifying events! So I picked up the mighty hammer and struck out fearlessly: 'Wham! Thump! Crash! Boom!' I gave the beast a fucking great bashing.
I was enraged yet not terrified more than was absolutely necessary. Did you erroneously imagine I was just some little weedy wimp afraid of attacking a terrible adversary without a platoon of Hummers (whatever they may fucking be) full of mercenaries recruited from the slum trailer parks of Hades? 'Take that you stupid evil cunty ideologue!' I yelled, 'Take that! And that! Fucking take that!'
My God, I bashed that vile and 100% hideous creature fucking senseless. I was so fucking brave, just as brave as the worthless shits who will soon be called heroic veterans killing innocent Iraqis in Falluja, God bugger them. I was incandescent. I was SUPER-FUCKING SNOGGO! I would triumph over adversity in the name of fucking freedom's fucking bell! Ding-dong!
As so it came to pass that, finally after a tremendous struggle in which I nearly lost a fingernail, the immature pink dwarf hamster lay lifeless before me, squashed into a puddle reminiscent of a flattened dead hairy ripe tomato. 'Bring it on, you goddam pansy,' I bravely thought as I sucked my comrade's flaccid cock eagerly as we cowered bravely in a burnt-out mosque.
THE END
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Author notes
This is the least popular of all SNOGGO's adventures and I can't think why.
SNOGGO's 4th adventure awaits you at www.allpoetry.com/poem/1399630 ......
Or if you want to meet Vladimir the Gay Pervert try:-
www.allpoetry.com/poem/1404428 ....
Written on 7th July, 2005.
In a list
A contest entry
- Stephen King Scary! by .
400 points, ended November 1, 2006, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ I need some fine wine. And you? You need to be nicer! ♥ by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended August 21, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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pointless
Not for me I'm afraid -
Okay so I think the word "Fucking" was mentioned eight or nine times through out the piece,
But I really can't be fucked to count again,
Snoggo has always confused me,
Either you think that there is some potential in the series, or you are one lonely fuck.
I liked this alot,
I just hope the last stanza isn't a relfection of yourself!
Tut tut and I thought Edna was against cruelty to animals?
Shame!
Ly.
Sophie.
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Well the hamster is a metaphor for the average American soldier. I wouldn't harm a single hair on a hamster's body.
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Lame.
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Common little jerk.
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hehehe, yer fucking nuts, Edna,
wharaloovlystory,
Floorboards.
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Ceci n’est pas un poème
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Well this isn't scary. Disturbing would be more like it.
I don't think i've read anything more disturbing than this tale. Well done.
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This isn't your average bedtime story, I think I may get nightmares
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wow, Im speechless...
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o.O
SUPER SNOGGO!!! -
Now dont get me started on the soldiers and their exploits in Iraq! This was again very funny and matter-of-fact. Not a fan of the word 'spastic' though I must admit. Never have been.
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I think it's like the Gallagher thing - you smash a watermelon in front of the audience that has to wear plastic to protect themselves and you've got a hit. But if it's just a little bitty tiny bugger of a (scrolls up to check) immature pink dwarf hampster it can't compare to the rotweiler pair of dogs. These are great!
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Dear whispersoftly: back in October you said you enjoyed a SNOGGO story! Why not join the "Fans of SNOGGO" group then you will never miss another one!
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awesome!
the end was particurly amusing.poor hamster...
where on earth do you get your ideas?
great job
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wow this is erm.... to the point and yes blunt well done You are obvioulsy very courageous and not afraid to say what you think! (wonders what Your like in real life!) thankyou for sharing Cheryl xx
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More bilge!
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"you goddam pansy" uumm not one for slang...
Anyway, I totally find this piece in tune with fantasy! It is very cool! -
OMG
I am beginning to regret the day when I told you I would give you an applause for each typo you spotted. It is SO depressing to find one makes typos mistakes. FUCK spellcheck, it's more ignorant than Dwight Eisenhower. But don't stop doing it, you are appointed head spellchecker! And yes I did know how to spell amenuensis, only my fingers didn't do what they were told, thanks to the HUGE amount of wine I had just slurped down!
Edited on Sep 21, 9:40 because ''. -
Um, am I missing something in reading "amensuensis"? Because I only know an "amanuensis"...though certainly you're no boring transcriber. ..
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yay brilliant! light hearted, fun gore! woo thanks for entering, good luck!
Love Hugs and Kisses
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I'm pleased it made you think. The story is not meant to be "funny", but to make you feel dirty at having taken part in it. Thank you for your comment. It worked.
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This was scary. Just plain scary! I didn't find humor in this at all. I am kind of scared as to what most poets find funny. Sorry.
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Awesome write
This was definately very blunt, but very good. It did catch me off guard, but it was something I needed (at 6:30am)
Keep up the good work
EH -
always so blunt and straight forward.. i bet your mind gets you into trouble sometimes..doesn't it? he he he, i like it..you are not scared to say what you want to say.. good work!
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WOW! Pretty blunt and edge very intresting ^_^
nice work!
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