My souls an enferno
Passion ablaze
My heart is racing
Beating
Thudding
Pounding to break free of its cage
Your body lies on top of mine, pressed cheek to cheek
Warmth emanating
Droplets of sweat bead from strands of your hair
Abstruse breathing
Deeper, deeper
Panting even
I find myself lost in your stare
I've searched forever for eyes like yours
So unique, like nothing I've ever admired before
Face to face we're locked in postition
And I smile to myself as I wonder
If God knew I adored freckles
Took out his paintbrush and splattered your nose just for fun
The flood of your breath against the nape of my neck
Sends a chill that runs down my spine
And makes me shiver
Turning my head your luscious lips, the perfect kiss
Your tongue's new exploration
An inviting infiltration
Emracing all that I am
You squeeze tight
All is black
And I love you more than I ever have
Tonight.
Author notes
straight from my heart.. based on this night alone. There was not one point at the begining where I intended to rhyme, and yet it happened that way. *hmmmm* this is for you: my baby, my brandon. We were ourselves again tonight, love you.
Written July 6th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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this is great i love the way that i can feel like i am there.
(not sain i want to tAKE HIM OR LIKE WAT UR SAYIN IN A BAD WAY)LOL. just so you no i love your poems the most -
cool
This poem is inspiring i bet for a lot of people i think it made want to read it again -
Very Good
A good piece, you did well to end it, becuase endings often seem the hardest and most lacking. It had a good flow, tight and tense and the ending, they way it was written really suited it. -
Ooh...I love this. Great details and I love the imagery. I'm glad you're so in love with someone that you can write something like this. I'm in awe of you.
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love it..love the details!
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omg i seriously loved this. its jstu filled with so many emotions and entrancing words. i was caught by the first words. i especially loved that freckles this... ugh that was just soo cute. anyways GREAT write and thank u for checking out my poem!
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Wow this is really good. It's got great imagery and it's very deep. I loved it. It's good that you've found someone that you love so much and so young. That's amazing. I hope you guys last awhile cause it sounds like you love him sooooo much. Awesome write.Keep it up.
Peace,
~Jen~ -
omgoodness i love it. you are a great writer and i know exactly what you mean. i love the line "...I wonder If God knew I adored freckles Took out his paintbrush and splattered your nose just for fun" adorable. you captured the passion of the moment perfectly.
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Very good poem.
I can imagin how much this kid means to you just by this deep poem.
Sweet. -
thanks so much for respecting my request! I can always use a kind critique to help me along the way. You've been so helpful to me for so long, again I thank you for being such a sweetheart! <3 heather
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I don't know what it has to do with my style, lol
But. This is a very romantic poem which was very loving
Keep writing, I liked your use of onomatapoiea and imagery
All the best,
Pozo
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gorgeous poem!
shoo, awesome words! I have always been somewhat bebothered by freckles...but no more! gorgeous poem! -
great job
What a nice poem made my heart beat right outta my chest! Nice job! I must say the ending was my favorite part extremely romantic kind of twist, I loved it. Your poems always fit in so perfectly with my life I'm in a lovey dovey mood again and this poem was great, thank you so much for the read. Nice poem, keep it up!
love ya!!!
*hugs*
.manda.
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