There she stands touching her daughter's tomb
The one whom she held nine months in her womb
She falls on her knees with unbearable grief
As one of her tears collapses on a dry leaf
She touches softly along the letters in the concrete
Feeling like a puzzle-only now it's incomplete
Such a good person with such a good mission
That was destroyed by someone's decision
There she stands recalling her daughter's face
Asking God over and over why that had to be her fate
Why did she have to get in that car without knowing
That her drunk friend couldn't see where she was going?!
She was too dizzy to see that the light was red
Now a mother cries because her daughter is dead
She wipes her soaked face and gets out a knife
For it was pointless to live without her daughter in her life
Author notes
Written July 6th, 2005
A contest entry
- Scare Me with Flair; not your typical contest by Gossamer Guile.
300 points, ended August 31, 2006, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Will you remember me? by SomethingPoetic.
704 points, ended June 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
awwwwww. I hate drunk drivers. they cause so much devastation. I am so very sorry for your loss
-
This poem was excellent! I hope that you will enter my follow-up contest, Perfect Poetry! Great job, and I hope to read some more of your work!
-
This is a great write! So sad and real, all at the same time. I love how you ended this, and the rhyme fit it perfectly. Wow. Great job, and good luck in my contest!
-
awesome
omg that poem is so alive so sad so sorrowful
god what a poem
beautiful in its simplicity yet powerfully blunt in its message
beautifully written on such a sad subject
thanx
steve -
Middle Draft Stage
Very heavy topic. I love the first stanza. It's a remarkable rhyme, and somehow disturbing when word relationships are this closely and symbolically linked. Next revision: dry tears collapse...that didn't quite get to the image for me. Also, the fate stanza didn't quite flow like the rest! -
Very personal and well written. I couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child. Anyway, beautiful write!
-
thanks for entering my contest, this was an amazing write! im not sure it really fits my guidlines but since its very good, it doesnt matter. keep up the good work
-
wow.. just wow
-
This is the best one so far i love this poem awesome wonderful work great job and good luck in my contest! Thanks for entering!!
-
I agree with you consideration is important in all of our lives whether we want to consider the effects our actions may have or not a brilliant write keep it up Crazy xxx
-
crying
crying again -
ive read a couple of ur poems and i have to tell u u are an amazing writer
-
holy jesus of pearl this is a very good write i love how you did it lol
hope you do well in the contest well even if you dont win hope you enter another one of mine
good luck
*~casi~* -
WOW! Thanx for reading My Angel Girl! It's about one of my beautiful friends, Lisa. Your comment was lightning fast!! I had only just posted it!!
thank you! This poem is fantastic! Extremely emotional! I loved it! ou're very talented at rhyming. Thanx again!
-
Wow.... amazing. There's no need for any revisions. And great point of view, aw that was a great poem with lots of power and emotion. Thanks for entering and good luck!!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
