I got Friday on my mind
airport terminal
busy day
Passport,tickets, money and my heart
in my pocket
Ready, wings open, just to let go
over the pond
The pull of the ocean whips up the foam
breezes catch my hair
As I fly; sensing everything
I can taste the salt of the sea
as it aches in my lungs
Breathing deep
to the bottom
of the sea-bed
Rivulets and currents string together
such sweet impatience
As I wait with Friday on my mind
I know concrete and clay tiles
of the sterile airport
wont bring the scent of the sea
to me
But I daydream with smiles
To where riches lie and mermaids swim
with Neptune,on their shoulders
anemones gather with conches
I'll reach out and touch the shoreline
But you wait
there
on the other side
for me
I can dig deep
in my head
Pictures of you lay there
and the ocean's breeze carries my voice
to you
All I have to say
is
Friday
Author notes
got Friday on my mind
Written July 5th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Scent: Ocean Breeze by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended July 7, 2005, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Oh my goodness, Friday is just a day away, hell, now I got Friday on my mind. Wonderfully done.
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Reading this I get a warm fuzzy feeling. Then I sneezed. Snarfed everywhere. LOLOLOL
Have a great time hun and don't lose that heart of yours. I hear there are a lot of pickpockets in airports. Hehe Have a great time gal!
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friday is a good day x
elaine
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Waterlogged
There are too many images in this poem for it to work. The frequent references to the oceans seem stretched, unless it mentions looking out of the plane window now and than. How can "mermaids swim with Neptune on his shoulders?" Neptune is a male. But I'm cool--Different strokes for different folks.
Edited on Jul 05, 3:09 p.m. because ''. -
Ah, this was beautiful! I loved the line "I know concreate and clay tiles, won't bring the scent of the sea to me."
Made me shiver. It makes me think of the beach so much, and it makes me even more exicited about going! Good job ^__^
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I just love your writes. This piece makes me want to jump on the next plane to Cancun or the Caribbean. Nice write as usual. I enjoyed the read.
~Dee -
great poem
To me it seems this guy is waiting for friday to come so he can get paid and fly home to his loved who must have a beach house near the ocean line cause you said the salt makes him sick...and then hes talking about going into the ocean and leaving all of his troubles behind...awsome job keep up the great work -
The opening is the killer lines here...
Passport,tickets, money and my heart
in my pocket
great imagery... that whole kinda 'passport.. Check.. Money... Check..' etc that panicky excitment... and adding 'heart' to that list just demonstrates that perfectly... Spot on..
xxx
Scarlet -
Yepp
thanks
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Many thanks for your lovely comment
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thankyou
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now i like this! i picture a man... one i love and am going to see... across the ocean. the "anticipation factor" comes through loud and clear in this write.
lordylordy... this is good!
i applaud the poet and the poem
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wow this piece was amazing i find my self holding my breath justreading somepart As I fly; sensing everything
I can taste the salt of the sea
as it aches in my lungs
Breathing deep
to the bottom
of the sea-bed
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That is awesome!
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