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Bird on a Wire

Straight and narrow dance
 Performed meticulously.
Traversing over lake o' fire
 Unconcerned of realities.

Graceful gypsy dancing
 Gaze focused heavenly.
Touching lightly, springing spritely
 Twirling exquisitely.

Spellbound onlookers gasping
 and sighing with relief.
Ballerina of the high-wire
 Swirling effortlessly.

Desire, he whispers sweetly
 His temptations beckoning.
Resisting without contemplation
 Lovely lady keeps on dancing.

One last and grand finale
 Before yeilding submissively.
Courageous mission undefeated
 Bowing victoriously.

Gypsy bird upon a wire
 Silent song of freedom.
A melody of movement
 'Neath a darkened blood-like moon.

Author notes

I have completely changed this poem from its original version
which was way too forced and phony in its "flow".  I like it
much better like this but its still a little rough around the
edges.
Written July 4th, 2005

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Sandygram
    January 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have penned a lovely poem. Nice imagery and a pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing. Take care, Sandy


  • FalconStarfyer
    July 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem and I love the content, but it is a little hard to read because it seems like you couldn't decide whether to make it rhyme or not. I do like the poem but i think the flow may be a little off. I am glad that you changed it so that it is not phony. I would rather it not flow at all then be phony. Great Job.


  • Jimmy Jazz
    July 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i think you should leave it just as it is...you've portrayed such an elegant and graceful scene...quite well done...great work

  • kikibaby
    July 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is simply amazing!!!!!! You wrote this well and I loved it!!!! Great write....KIKI


  • Yunalonei
    July 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice imagary. Great write.


  • Chelsea dagger
    July 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    great! i love it! i mean wow. it was just so great. keep up the good work.


  • Joshua Scott Peck
    July 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful, you ddi a great job and i can tell by the way its writtent that you put a lot of work into it


  • Thayla
    July 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I thought it was beautiful, a stunning description of somehing many of us wouldn't of look at twice. I really enjoyd this read it took me to a different and somewhat sad place. Where the unseen are seen in all their glory.

1 - 8 of 8