wind blows bitter,
fast through the snow,
covered mountains
blanketed in peaceful
wonder.
alabaster flakes fall
silently to earth
all is quiet
the trees once strong
and inviting
now fragile and lifeless
with frozen limbs.
poor natural jungle
gyms how you sway,
hunched over from
weight of years past
anticipating the
warmth of spring.
clinging to promises
of new life, birth
blooming, blossoming
blushing pinks,sprouting greens,
golden yellows
swirling, fragrant
comforting.
take heart old friend
for warm rays
shall again gently
caress your worn,weary
shoulders.
Author notes
What comes to mind when you think of January?
Poem was written July 4th, 2005
A contest entry
- Life is a game! Get it?....No you don't. Just Come Look. by Ishtar.
600 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thanks for entering however, your submission is over the 20 line limit. I think you could change this and create a few stanza's and shorten the length. If you choose to do this, please re-enter it as I have to disqualify it and remove it from the contest. As I said, please re-submit if make changes and it is under 20 lines. Thanks so much.
Leance
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Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering my contest: PREWRITES FOR BRONZE & SILVER TROPHY WINNERS.
Wishing you the best
liquid -
A very wonderful poem! Full with lovely details. Enough that I could even paint it on a canvas.
Simple and to the point with a wonderful message. Thanks for your entry! <3
-Reni -
very good poem overall...it felt brrrr...cold to read. my only suggestion is as to the "albaster" flakes in L6. although i realize you are using as a color inference, albaster seems such a "hard" word to refer to light snowflakes. suggestion for a replacement might be maybe "white linen" or "downy flakes," i dunno, but the alabaster just feels so harsh and hard in this line. other than that, a really good poem and I enjoyed the read!
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GacK! You make me shiver reading this poem. Its so full of good imagery. I can feel the cold and see the snow as if im right there in it. Burrrr. Very well done!
Peace
Lust -
this is a wonderful write. i enjoyed the short-lined structure (giving importance to every work) as well as your descriptive word choices that really evoke vivid and rich imagery. you create a tranquil picture of winter and nature - with a tinge of sadness, but end with that ray of hope, that the burden of cold will melt away with spring. a beautiful write, and a pleasure to read. thank you so much for entering, and best of luck in the contest <3
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Beautifully penned with brief phrases that say so much. I loved the way you expressed this "alabaster flakes fall
silently to earth" That paints such a serene picture for me. Then you finish it off with the aspirations of spring, bringing hope and new life. Wonderful job!!!!~vj
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