The nest lost a dove
and little Mama sits
knowing her darling is gone.
her arms are left unhugged
lips unkissed
song, once in harmony
now solo
Alone to only wonder
a melody's
prawling moan of
their century's story.
the littler doves help
her from the branch
cater to her hunger
situate the straw abode,
but they can't melt the
photo on the piano keys
smells in the pillow,
voice from the stairs
lights in the dark that
pleaded assistance;
the echo of a thousand moons
whine under her flightless wings
her prayers are whispers,
limpid and joyless
aches that once were hers
now become a pain of both
she leans on always
until heaven calls
the mystery of the loss.
Author notes
Dedicated to my Mother and anyone who is trapped in the sorrow of a spouse's absence.
Written July 2nd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
you've been hoodwinked!
Boy, this was really heart ripping yet soothing and beaming with understanding of such loss. excellent metaphors, just excellent dear. this one does make my heart sighhhhhhhh.
DK akalunaticserene and JD
-
Awhh..thank you. Mostly for the compassion. It's a tough place to be. She's all alone in her home and we can't talk her into doing anything else. She and my father were married 57 years.
I can only imagine............!
Bless you for the honest and super critique. Warmly, CookieZeal -
AWESOME!
Ah! Amazing! This poem definately didn't have ANY flaws.....this was pure emotion!!!!!!! Very well written. The dove has been used very well. And my sypathies to you and you mother. I know what it is like to lose a loved one, and even more difficult to write about it.....atleast for me. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you too. This poem flowed very well. You have my applause for this one.
-
I loved it. I really felt the emotion behind this poem. I liked how you used the doves as a metaphor.
-
Great
Perfect picture of loneliness. Very sensitive and powerful! -
you're very sensitive....in tune, and the responses you give are finishing the very work of it. Thank you .....thank you.
-
what life leaves behind
this was so mysterious, of loneliness and the dove's empty nest
imagery deep , so many lines here as metaphore and meaning, some
so eluding and others lucid , like going through passages of your memories ,"melt the photo on the piano keys"an imprint of memory and imagery .. -
AWESOME AWESOME...AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wow!!!i'm speechless! ....LMFAO!!!! b-e-a-u-tiful piece!!! bowz and flowers r gettin' thrown at cha!!: yay!!!!!
Edited on Aug 25, 4:20 p.m. because ''. -
Very decriptive and that piece is touching to say the least as i have seen someone very close to me go through the same, those are some of the strongest and most brave people on earth. very well done m'lady
-
COOL
i like your stuff cuz it has allot of metaphors and i love stuff like that Please comment more poems and how do you find the "show board" -
This was an amazing piece. Very powerful, and very touching. The vivid images you created made me feel as though I could see the stairs, smell the pillows, and hear the song that was once two, but now is one. This was a beautifully penned piece that affected me in a deep way. Fantastic work. -Trouble
-
this was beautiful... i loved the way you used doves as a metaphor... it was truly sad and beautiful... it's nice that you dedicated it to your mom!
-
Cookie,
This is beautifuly written but could feel the sadness. I'm sorry your moms hurting inside. Your dad is a wonderful man I'm sure you all will alway miss him. Until you see him again oneday. ((((((Cookie))))))))))Hugs,Sherry ♥ -
Dear Di-
my condolensces for the loss of your Dad and to the honor of your Mom's memories for the candid beautiful relationship that has now been put to rest where He is at peace and best.
Yet, it does not stop the torment for those left here on the earth in anquish as your Mom.
God bless you both
your Sis
im soon -
Keep it up!
Wow! This is sooooo deep, it touches the soul.
i liked it! -
man! this is touching. two lines especially got to me..."song, once in harmony, now solo" and "smells in the pillow" such powerful images!
this is an outstanding write. perfect capturing of a widow's painful plight. I'm sorry it's a personal piece about your mother rather than just a finely-crafted work of art. hugs to her and to you.
~travis
-
Wow great stuff very touching i rely enjoyed it but i was very upset once i read it i nearly cried which i very realy would admit to but this piece toched me great write!!
Thanks
~JACKO~ -
Very nice work. Keep it up! Very lovely and beautiful piece.
-
hello Cookie, long time no see and trust me to walk in on a personal piece, I nearly didn't bother to comment because what do you say to someone elses loss, but frankly that's worse than the people who cross the street to avoid you after these things happen.
You keep flapping your wings around her until she tells you to shove off, then you know the worst of the pain has gone.
Much love
Barb
Ps. It's lovely
xx -
Dearest Dianne --
How touching in its analogy; how real and how deeply compassionate. My love and prayers to your mom and to you all.
May our Heavenly Father gather you to His breast in caring and in love.
Myra
-
thats a beautiful poem. reading it i can't help but swell up with that feeling of loss. you're very talented.
-
Oh Cookie, this is a tear jerker...I liked how you open this innocently with the birds and the loss of their papa. I am sure you and your siblings have come to your Mother's aid, but there is only so much you guys can do-you can't replace the memories that fill her house. A duet that has now gone solo. That can never be easy to loose your life partner, one whom you have spent more years with than without. Lovely job, but definitely a poem you need a tissue to read it with. vj
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
