Pulsating persistent
Rhythms reach into the room
Every beep offers hope
Every pause a question
until
I give in to head nodding sleep
Just for one brief moment
Forgetting
until
Beeps intrude and
Neck stiff from a low-backed chair
I remember
I値l cry later in the car
Safe
Embraced by the solitude
Windows slightly open
Drying sticky trails of tears
Hospital smells snatched
Away by the breeze
As I drive too fast
Praying
always
hoping
Shoes slapping
Down the elevator, through the door
Every step offers warmth
Every breath a release
until
I smile at birds arguing on branches
Just for one brief moment
Forgetting
until
Guilt intrudes and
Heart heavy from a long silent day
I remember
I値l cry later in the car
Safe
Embraced by the solitude
Windows slightly open
Drying sticky trails of tears
Hospital smells snatched
Away by the breeze
As I drive too fast
Praying
always
hoping
So, now he痴 gone
No more brief moments of
Forgetting
And I値l cry now
Anywhere
Praying
always
hoping
Author notes
option: sad story -- I started this poem while my husband was in ICU and I spent many hours sitting by his bed in Phoenix and then only allowing myself to cry in the car as I made the 90 mile drive home. After he died I didn't know how to finish it, so I just ended it abruptly like the abrupt change his death brought in my life.
Written July 2nd, 2005
A contest entry
- Crying... by near1202apocalypse.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 77 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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this did make me cry! it's very sad, and very well done sweetie!
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What a tragic thing to happen to you. To put off the tears until in the car is something that really spoke to me for some things in my own life. I commend you for making such heartfelt and beautiful poetry out of such an appalling experience.
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Great piece! Best of luck in the contest to you.
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Thanks for the contest and your kind words.
Anne
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Thanks for your kind words. It was difficult, but I have survived - some days better than others. I'm glad it touched you.
Anne -
What a experience this reveals. It made my heart quicken as I read it. This must have been horrible thing to endure. Great piece!
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Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad that it spoke to you. Isn't it amazing how we find strength when we need it, and then we lose it when we think we are alone? I've often wondered what people thought driving next to me as I sobbed in my car.
Thanks,
Anne -
good work
Oh! how sad here. nice imagery though. this is a good piece full of emotions here. -
This is extremely emotional and I absolutly loved it.
Wonderful job.. the poem was intense and the background story was truly deep and touching and so sad.
amanda -
More of a story, then a poem. Thanks for entering the contest. Good Luck.
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Thanks for your kind words and your condolences. I appreciate your feedback. It is often the things that we fear the most that hold the power to make us stronger.
Thanks,
Anne -
Thanks for your kind words. I am doing fine, thank you. Although I still have moments when I can hardly wait to get into my car and cry. It's still the safest place for me.
I'm glad the ending captured the abruptness of the change. While it sounds cliche to say that life is unpredictable, we shouldn't be surprised when it suddenly changes. But I find that I almost always am.
Thanks,
Anne -
this was really good. I think the abrupt ending was fitting because it shows the abrupt change you went through and that came across when reading it. I hope you are doing ok.
thank you for sharing your work.
~blond chick -
That piece really touched me. Even when I just read the title, I thought it would be something really sad, but so many poems begin with a really great title that grabs you and then they turn into really mediocre poems that don't deserve the title. But the poem definitely lives up to its title. . . The way you capture the pain, and the way suddenly it's acceptable to cry anywhere at the end - - it was like without saying so, he just died. . . I am so sorry for your loss, and I am sorry you had to go through it. . . This piece is really deep. . . Good luck in the contest.
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I will praise His name forever.
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This is incredibly beautiful and truly shows why yours are some of my very favourite poems, both on and off this site.
"I値l cry later in the car" Such a poignent line, it really hits me.
That ending is what hits me the hardest though...you so beautifully described that moment when pain becomes too much to stay strong with....
"And I値l cry now
Anywhere"
Thank you for sharing this beautiful write about such a personal time in your life.
Love and light,
Jenna
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Kick Ass
This is one of the best poems I've read on this site in a while.It was beautifully written and it really captured your pain.I'm sorry about your husbands death and I think that's what made this poem harder to read.I love poems that hit you hard and that's what happened to me when I was reading this.I look forward to reading more of your poetry and good luck with everything.
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