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This Love Is Dead, Are You?

This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to write...

I'm forcing myself to face up to the fact that you lied
You lied and you're still somewhere out there
Maybe you're laughing at me, maybe you're not
Maybe you hate me, maybe you don't
All I know is that the memory of you will not fade away
No it will not fade away
No matter how hard I try to forget you
There you are, lingering in the background
A shadow to my fading soul...

I know that it started off so beautifully
You held my heart in your hands, just as I let it be
I thought everything was just peachy
Though there was a suffocating doubt in my mind
Were you all that you said you were?
Were you the man you claimed to be?

I was there for you when you needed me the most
Though you claimed that I wasn't, that I was self-absorbed
I gave my all to you, my entire life you swallowed whole

There is nothing like the painful memories I hold for you
I know that you gave me the strength I've never had
But you snatched it right back when you confessed
To being nothing but a little girl inside
Nothing but a lying, self-loathing, heartless bitch from hell
Yes, that's it, I've got it out now...

You are not strong, you are weak
You could have told the truth from the start
Stopped me from going through the pain your black heart gave to me
I live with this torture every day
Knowing that I hurt my best friend through your continuing lies
I cannot help but wish pain on you
May I burn in hell for this lustful desire
But you caused me such fucking pain and distress
I do not care about my own demise, simply yours

I was there when you needed me
I was there when you destroyed me
Where are you now, so I can annihilate you...

Author notes

Written on 1st July 2005 at 01:44 GMT

This is for the person I hate most in the universe. I pity this person, I despise this person. One who I used to love with every inch of my being, I now wish was dead. This person lied to me willingly, to keep me and my best friend part of "his" little makebelieve world. The reason I say "his" is because that the person turned out to nore really be male. This person is a female, waiting for a sex change operation. I cannot describe how much I hate this person. I know it is wrong to wish death on someone, but this person caused me that much pain and torment. Not only me, but my best friend. I will not go into much more detail, because they would not be believed...

"Hate the sin but love the sinner"

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • AloneForever-
    October 23
    Edit | Reply
    I like this
    True emotions
    Good luck and thank you for entering


  • xRAYEx
    February 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    amazing. i loved it! well written and purely emotional...
    *CHEERS*
    Raye D.


  • jezz-aussi
    July 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is so beautiful in a dark angry sort of way. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal poem with us all. It is my prayer that you will one day be able to find a release from the pain of being betrayed in such a way. But right now, you need to continue to let yourself feel everything...just like you're doing through this poem.

    Thank you again for sharing this wonderful write.

    Love and light,

    Jenna

  • Sarhii
    July 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It's so very full of raw and exposed emotions, your pain is put into it's place so well that I litteraly dropped my jaw (for that and the similarities between and ex-boyfriend and I) It was the underlying meaning that I related to the 'I did nothing to deserve this so why did I get it!' feeling.


  • BleedingWords
    July 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    learning to forgive is the only way to heal ourselves.

    Dont let your wounds stay raw forever?

    & <3

1 - 5 of 5