The moon is nothing,
if in its glowing
there is not knowing
of being seen and being loved
and you must choose
a shadow to be your friend.
How terrible the night
How small,
how remote,
the moon is then.
The moon is something,
when in its light
the night is not secluded,
and each can find it possible
to say “I am included,
and I belong.”
How pure this moment
How special,
how perfect,
the moon is then.
Author notes
This poem was presented in October 2008 at an improvisational music concert at Texas State University. Special music was composed for piano, viola and cello and used as accompaniment by students. Man of Harlech
A contest entry
- Beautiful minds....please enter. by islekine.
760 points, ended January 11, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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It's great to be included and belong... and the moon in itself gives off such beautiful thoughts.. i like the unity in this.
Thanks so much for entering and best of luck in the contest... x -
I like the small, may be unintentional rhymes. I felt a sort of consolation from this poem. Poetry is often a great sort of consolation. Billy Collins said that. Thank you. I will try from now on to see the differences in the moon when my feelings vary.
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i loved the longing in this and the exploration of perspective.
i am sure the piece was stunning performed in the way you described.
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This is a beautifully sad poem of longing. It plucks at heart strings of quiet desperation.
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What a beautiful poem . . . It took a 2nd read to let everything sink in, but when it did, I was stunned by your amazing words.
And my congratulations on being able to present your poem at the college.
Good luck,
Zach. -
i like it very much
great subject the moon
very nice
<33 -
I really enjoyed this first time through...
then read your AN...too cool! I would love to hear it!
Best wishes in the contest...and always...
write on!
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Congrats on getting this piece performed at the Texas State University!! That must be a poet's dream come true, to present your poem in front of hundreds of people. It's a testament to how creative you are and how much talent you have! This poem in itself is absolutely stunning. I love the moon at night, it's one of the most beautiful things in nature and it deserves to be recognized for the beauty that it is!
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i like it!
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I dare say, this is a memorable comment. You will be interested to know that this poem was put to music and presented by students at a Music Composition symposium at Texas State University in the spring of 2008. My experience with 'moon writes' is that people tend to gush when they write about it. The moon does not need additional superlatives. Indeed, this is one comment that I will never omitt.
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superb
"....I am included,
and I belong.....”
you know, this is an extremely identifying work for me
i want so much, no, no, no, i yearn so much to be included, belong, chosen, accepted, loved, etc
and, yet
for all the good i do
i am coveted
my mom, too
mere shadows to be cast aside
and
what makes your tremendous work such an absolutely gratifying experience to read
I look at the moon
and when i say look
i'm not kidding
i gaze at the moon
i love the moon
i wonder what might be at the moon
i ponder my past at the moon
i make a wish to the moon
i talk to the moon
i fantasize i'm on the moon
i love cheese because as a kid, well, "the moon is made of cheese
i albeit, in my dreams, have walked on the moon
i love the 007 "moonraker"
i capture the moon
i "one small step for man, one giant step for mankind" the moon
i look at the earth from the moon
ok, lol
i remember, 1971, 72?, vinnie miner, a friend across the street, brought his new telescope over to the top of our stoop
and
he knew so much, very smart kinda guy,
he drew the full moon into view
and
i can still remember how beautiful it was
why, why, why, why
because your work portrays beautifully the connection between us and the moon
the moon, a lone wandering humble, silent, lonely, wanderer of the galaxy
until our world befriended it
and
accepted it into its orbit
"there is not knowing
of being seen and being loved
and you must choose
a shadow to be your friend.
moon songs
thank you for your wonderful, marvelous, enchanting piece of work
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Actually, my daughter composed an accompaniment for voice, piano and cello for a graduate composition class. It is quite beautiful but I still would like to hear it with a lute.
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I like this. Just out of curiousity, are you planning to write the music for the accompaniment of this? Keep up the good work.
Anaiya Illyria -
Wonderfully Expressed
Wow these are beautiful lyrics I love the moon lite. I say the moon is life with energy. Great write.
"The moon is something,
When in its light
The night is not secluded,
And each can find it possible
To say “I am included,
And I belong.”
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Hi there old friend.
Thanks for entering this piece of lunatic verse.
I agree the moon is magical (much more so than the sun) and it is an experience best shared. Your poem conveys this feeling well.
Jim
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This is an intriguing write! The structure is interesting and unpretentious. The beauty in your thoughts shines through. Amazing piece. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
~Lori~ -
One reason why I have seldom entered contests is that I have received very shallow and cursory comments, if any, on my entries. You have taken the time to read each one through and obviously understood my intent. I appreciate this, it is a rare thing.
Edited on Jul 25, 9:12 p.m. because ''. -
really beautiful poem.. i like the emotion in it.. but yeh well done good like and thanks for entering
xx laura xx -
this poem had a lot of great and unique rhyming/metrical patterns. The writer shows a lot of control and discipline here. Well done.
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wow this is pretty deep, i like it alot! "great job here! This is a very beautiful and wonderful poem, one of this best I have read all week that was posted in the feature section. The imagery was strong and very vivid and the flow was smooth from start to finish. I love the emotion put into this piece it really lets the readers mind just kinda wonder and set up the scene in there mind. Excellent job"
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beautiful words. I love the meaning and emotions in this piece. Very thought-provakative. keep on writing!
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To say “I am included,
And I belong.”
wow absolutely amazing!!! this piece definetly struck a chord with me. it has a kind of magical and mystical element to it.
really really impressive!! keep it up!!
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A great piece, I can see why you have struck a nerve here. It was just an all round nice piece. Well done, keep it up.
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How special this poem is...its words are meaningful....simple yet mysterious....a wonderful collage....
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That was really cool! I liked the way your point of view changed from the beginning to the end. You had a great choice of words and an interesting point of view. Very nicely done! Thank you for entering! good luck!
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Thanks so much. Sometimes things just fall in place as if they were meant to be. This came together like pieces of leggo.
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Short, sweet, and pure--i really loved this poem, i think you put this together very well for so few lines--but i think anything longer might have taking the mystic away! the moon belongs to all of us and yes it's something we can share-just like your poem and very nice it was too, good job. mojo xx
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Your Poetry Rocks! It is so damn awesome and you convey emotion very well. Keep on being so creative and good luck with everything!!!
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Wonderful
Wow. When I began reading this I thought it would be anouther anti-night darkness is evil poem, then you did a one eighty and gave the night praise. Not many have the tallent to do so. I take off my hate to you. Congratulations on such a well enjoyed poem, I hope you continue to do so well in your writting and that I could someday meet your level. Truly keep writing.
Ash Twilight
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I think I struck a nerve with this one. I have had offers to translate it into Spanish, into one of the indiginous dialects here in Panama and even into Braille. A flautist wants to compose music for a flute. I hope some of those will happen.
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I love the moon....most of the time. The only time I don't is when it's a blood moon (red moon.) It's bad luck and usually means blood has spilt the night before. Anyways I love how the moon can light up the world and night, to take walks, to drive with your headlights out or just to lay out and look at it and all the stars around it. It's like a light leading you down a safe path. Anyways love the write and keep it up.
~V~ -
A thought shared
We should have a full moon in a few days. I hope you have a beautiful view of it. The great thing is that we can all go out and look at the same time. There will be people in the world setting out to do mean and terrible things to others. Their world will be one of shadows. For people with open hearts, the moon will be warm and magnetic. -
A thought shared
We should have a full moon in a few days. I hope you have a beautiful view of it. The great thing is that we can all go out and look at the same time. There will be people in the world setting out to do mean and terrible things to others. Their world will be one of shadows. For people with open hearts, the moon will be warm and magnetic.
Edited on Jul 16, 1:06 p.m. because ''. -
you've shown both aspects of the moon with your well chosen words. the form your thoughts are expressed in works well with this piece.
i love the moon as seen from my mountains...
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Thank you. You have it right. I tried to convey the sense of universal community that can be part of the perception.
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This is very good. The moon, it's beauty is all a matter of perception. Well done. This was a creative way of showing there is more than one way to view the moonlight (metaphorically).
~Lyrical
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good one
Had to open with a smile,you made the moon look like the opposite of a fairy(to me that was the image brought in front of my eyes),a creature of magic and fantasy,always shining,always hiding in the shadows.Don't know if the moon knows she's being watched and loved,her rays of silver light seem to caress,but there's no fire,they're cold,only a heart's fire can warm them.The moon...always there,always waiting...hey man,loved the poem by the way 
.Nice way with the words(I especially liked the repeating scheme after each stanza),great job 
.Best wishes to you and of course,keep writing
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I am very pleased that this poem is getting attention. It had a kind of Leggo type snap to it when it was completed. The moon can be the site of absolute loneliness and it can be the stage for universal fellowship and community. Thanks.
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ohh wow, awesome, i love it and i love the moon, especially when it is full with a bit of a haze..and the stars are out..great write!
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pretty
I like this. You did a good job setting the scene. So vivid a visual...there is actually a full moon outside my window as I look out. At least I think it's a full....anyway it looks cool. -
Very well written! Your message comes across well and the rhythm is clean cut and to the point. Good job! I think I shall give you applause!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
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Thanks
I was pleased by the way this turned out. I think there is nothing more wretched than the person who is so cut off that he/she does not notice a full moon. Apparantly you do notice. Lucky you. -
I like this poem a lot. It is about the night and the moon which is what more than half of my writings are about. Your poem takes a look at the night and the moon, and shows it as different points of view almost as two different characters. I like it. Keep it up!
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I find the moon to be very beautiful, and quite romantic in a odd little sense.
Now onto the write...this is very nice, it actually got me wanting to go out and star gaze, just to get lost in the mysteries of the night. So, I'm off to check out the moon, though it won't be full tonight. (at least I don't think)
Great write!
Bestest wishes & all that other mushy, gushy stuff
~Meli~
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I found this very beautiful and very descriptive. Great write that is written quite well and I enjoyed reading it very much. Great job and thank you for sharing it.
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This is such an interesting write. I love the full moon. I have looked at the moon so many times within the darkness of the night and embraced it for what it is to me...not really considering who else is looking at it or none the less what it means to them. I personally just know...without the moon the night would be so very very dark..and lifeless...for its light indeed allows us to see the life beneath it.
Great writing....I hope to read more.
LIZ
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