by ~Gregg Rowe~
“The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us.
It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."
- Silvetris
When you look into the abyss,
the abyss also looks into you
- Friedrich Nietzshce
nine months from today –
I will, in chronological ideology,
become forty-six:
twenty years after
my rebirth
before this release from
life’s womb –
a war greater than a
mythological battle
ravished outside
and penetrated my
youthful temple
and in the beginning
before Glenn and Pat
begot
Dale Gregory:
I have danced –
held the hands
of my anima’s abyss
parental excitatory
synapses gyrated
a stoic maternal molecule
and paternal alcoholic chromosome
fused
for the next twenty-six years
he lacerates my sanctuary
rapes my psychological,
emotional, sexual temples
builds my id
for disdain
disintegrates my character
assassinates
hope, life, love
I reach my late twenties: - -
unto life
I am spat
not as a crestfallen
survivor soldier with HIV
who has kissed
feces smeared linoleum floors
while his viscous sperm
ejaculates – spills
onto my alters
and his spectre
swims in my vortex
of black nightmares
where cobra heads whip
like Wuthering winds
hypnotize me to the
core of my soul
yet, I still
refuse to become rancid
I’ve not lead a vapid life
today, June thirtieth
two thousand and five-
is the first year
living
after open heart surgery
my sternum sawed
ironically
to heal my
cavern’s chambers
of pumping life’s fluids
to change aniline medications
for a continuum of existence
with a chronic modish disease
my cosmetic surgery leaves scars
remembrance of my life’s battles
male plumb temple reconstructs
into a comic angular form
a face so gaunt
can only be saved with
lipodystrophy surgery
caused by a change in
DNA helices hitchhiked
by hijacking chromosomes
this roller coaster
medical soap opera drama
played out by vacuous doctors
with gristle intelligence
and compassionate caregivers--
extended surrogate family:
who spew and spill platitudes
concerning my health conditions
meaning well
heartfelt, caring, lovingly
yet my neurons signal
these oratories are difficult
to receive through transmissions
upon my auditoria
reminding me of overused clichés
by amateur poets
they do not realize
my most psychological problem
is my sexuality vessel
this AIDS activist mouthpiece
a spineless impotent hard-on
is silenced
my backbone existence
are daydreams
experienced by the Lachine Rapids
languishing pretend I
am James Dean
enjoy Mother
as I asunder
my forty six years
of pain and pleasure
ridding my abyss
of his miasma
inflictions
infections
dividing his dregs
ending my pentinent days
before my
perdition
she will hear
the music of the
bean sidhe
Author notes
Image is: Spectres - Mike Bohatch
eyesofdarkness.com
This poem opens up on the calling of the nine muses: "The nine Muses appear in our lives in both direct and subtle ways. When the number 'nine' comes up in our speech, the Muses announce their presence: a cat of nine lives; dressed to the nines; go the nine yards; to be on cloud nine; a stich in time saves nine'". All are ways of reminding us that the Muses are there to assist us in bringing our gifts and talents forward to the world and to become more whole. " (Arien, Angeles. The Nine Muses: A Mythological Path to Creativity . New York: New York, 2000. pg. 7.) It ends on my Catholic Greek Orthodox beliefs of recieving penance for my sins and my Irish roots of hearing banshee fairy music announcing an upcoming death in the family. In between is the journey of discovering these roads in my life. I could not have completed this poem without calling upon my Nine Muses before...it would never have been finished without their consistent guidance and editing and re-editing to have the copy you are now experiencing.
A special thank-you for Ava Noire in showing me that even technical, clinical words can be romantized and given life in the poetic world.
Lachine Rapids --Are the waterfalls near my house that I visit and spend the day painting, reading, relaxing, sun tanning and just meditate while I recuperate.
bena sidhe --Gaelic spelling of banshee
I have used all fifteen words from your list
helix - angular - languish - synapse - gyrate - disintegrate - spine-less - mouthpiece - linoleum - cavern -
crestfallen - back-bone - aniline - penitent - sternum
To my 
Aussie 
Thank you for your support.
And a special to my other s who kept this going: Desiree and an anonymous donor
Gregg 
Written June 30th, 2005
In a list
- HIV and AIDS • next in list
- Writings for My Father • next in list
- Writings for My Mother • next in list
A contest entry
- all poems by twiztid110.
352 points, ended December 18, 2005, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mirrors by Nereida Nightshade.
404 points, ended December 12, 2006, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 72 of 72
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Wow very powerful and personal. Its diffently something that makes one look twice. Very well done this poem just floored me! wow just wow! Thanks for entering and best of luck!
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great poem. great man.
awsome poetry here, like all that I have been able to read of yours. your very talented, I love your writes. 1987 was one heck of a yr, I remember it well. I too have been dealing with this so long now that what the heck, just another thing another day of life is good! Thinking about you and wish you the best. roses
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And you must promise dear sweet Greg
That if I come with you you'll come with me
On my silver machine with wheels of stars
To fly around the universe in peace
To bless the spirits of all of our kin
To kiss the face of the God of heaven
And eternally we will sing praises
To the one who healed us on finite earth
Georgia
-
aslanlight wrote:
I'll see you in Nirvana...
and when we meet in Nirvana
I promise you a place
upon my white unicorn you'll
ride out with me on grace
the rainbows will be ours
to share and grasp
because we'll be in the heavens
where time definately will lapse
erased into infinity will be
the earthly pains of sorrow
for pain has given me the life
and there will always be tomorrow
Gregg
Edited on Jan 30, 6:12 p.m. because ''. -
By the way I'm like a Yorkshire terrior when I grab hold of someone in prayer for healing and I have been and will continue to pray for you deeply!
-
I also entered this contest Greg so I recognised the picture instantly. I want to say, but inadiquately because enough words don't exist, that all of the suffering you've endured with be washed away and you'll be more than compensated so that you'll forget all of it. Joy, healing, peace and so much, much more is yours and you will receive it hopefully sooner than you think, I promise it's there!
The hell of heroin abuse, alcoholism and a lot more are things of the past for me and I've been healed of physical sickness and psychological problems that plagued me for most of my adult life since my teens. Now I'm sound as a whole person and ecstatic. I'll see you in Nirvana...
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This is such a well-written, and thought out piece,that I don't feel qualified enough to even comment on it! But I do know what I like, and what moves me.
This touches me deeply, thank you.
-
Chantel: Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my poem My Mirrored Abyss and your honest critique. And you slogan is so true to my living today:
Carpe Diem
Gregg &
Edited on Aug 01 because ''. -
Wow... what a powerful, thought-provoking piece of imagery. Well done. I kinda went through this stage reading this, where i thought a joint might help me sink into this piece; but then i realised that the depth of reading this was merely an intoxication of a well written poem. Read your author's page and i was deeply moved by what you had the courage to share with everyone. Wishing you well at this point in your life seems like the obvious thing to do... I however would like to wish you strength to carry on living your life as you would, regardless of your health. Be strong and always look on the bright side..
Chantel -
this is absolutely amazing. i lost myself for a moment and had to recap which not many poets/writers can do with me. excellent
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Wow, this is a very powerful and emotionally charged piece. I am amazed by your talent, and wish you all the best. Great write Greg
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Much like you Gregg, I have an STD...not one as major as yours, but one nonetheless. I applaud you for your bravery to openly admit to your disease and deal with it. It takes a man to do the such, and it seems that you are just that. You are courageous, and your poetry, just not this one by the way, has inspired me to just pick myself up and press on. I have been in the dumps since I found out about my disease, but I see now that it shouldn't slow you down. If you can fight, so can I. It goes back to my saying on my poetry page.
"I am a product of my mistake."
In this case, it's a wiser product, and I think the same applies for your case as well. You are a beautiful person, Gregg, and I wish you the best. You are an overflowing cup of wisdom, poetic talent, and charm (judging from your poetry). I hope that others can be inspired such as myself. Thank you Gregg for your gift of expression...your gift of relation.
-Morial -
Well I could say what everyone else has said. That this poem is amazing, a masterpiece, wonderfully worded, dark and beautiful. But you've heard it all. So, I'll just say your poetry amazes me everytime I read it.
Leah -
Well Sally, you at least made a decent comment THIS TIME!!
you a dum dum? NEVER! a bit dipsy sometimes, hmmm, did I say somtimes? hurry up and get back to New Zealand with Heath.
......ignore us Gregg
Aussie
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Dear Gregg, what a masterpiece you have written, I do so love the way you have the ability to pen these beautiful words. Me, Im a dum dum but I recognize brilliant work when I see it, there are so many pieces I could take from this and treasure it, but I'd have to take the whole poem
hmmm, not a bad idea..start my own folder with your wonderful writes, just as I am doing with our dear friend Hugh...
Love Sally
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Terry: I knew those lines would probably come back to haunt me. It's one of those things that people shouldn't write, but then have to write because of the truthism behind it. I was hoping that no one would be offended by the particular lines but see more of a universal truth behind them. There are days when I am not feeling well but must participate and interact within the community and when discussing issues with friends and family they are at a grasp of words to communicate with so rely on these platitudes that sometimes really sting sometimes. And we accept these platitudes so as not to offend or hurt them through their caring. But I do wish sometimes that new platitudes were found because Gawd, you look good is getting kind of boring now!
Penitent days are refusing to take the penance through the traditions of the Catholic Church beliefs, I was wondering if I had used the correct word.
So isn't lead (present) lead (present past) led (past) the correct word usage here, referring to past present since I've not lead a vapid life or I did not lead a vapid life?
I find these confusing and I am not too good on the technicalities of all these, that is why I love editors!
Thank you for visiting this write Terry, and leaving me such a well-penned critique. Truly appreciated and looking at other areas that may have a small falter in them.
Gregg
Gregg
Edited on Jul 02, 6:07 because ''. -
Gregg, the honesty of this poem is a powerful indictment of inhumanity even in its most subtle forms. Afterwards, most of the hurt you feel in the words of some others, is unintended, unmeant. Words too often fail in the extent of their reaching, for such great demands are not usually placed upon them. Yours are not encumbered so. From your depth, they reach ours in greater empathy than you know, and change us.
So when you say:
' who spew and spill platitudes
concerning my health conditions
meaning well '
they do indeed mean well, knowing only worn words that have not yet travelled there. I wish we could all have the gift of originality so we could avoid those
' overused clichés
by amateur poets '
------------------------
PS, My Linux machine has not discovered accents yet.
------------------------
that try so hard but cannot share in pain, in outrage, in the depths of loss that you have known, and continue to be haunted by. It is the unfairness of it all, that escapes the rest of us; the crime of that same injustice that has killed countless others with the same hated cruelty. There are few words that convey what other writers have not personally known, and even few for those who have. The result inevitably is 'Overused clichés' which have long ago lost their meaning. They were not meant to minimize, even though they do.
I guess that would be the place for metaphor.
' ending my pentinent days ' My built-in spell-check underlined a typo. Penitent? (why? It is farthest from your fault.) Penultimate ? (next to end) I pray not.
I wish I could help but know I can't, and it hurts.
We celebrate the truth when you say, ' I’ve not lead a vapid life ' for your courage, resolve, and most of all quality of soul, that have led many many others of us into respect for those who pay such a heavy price for having been victimized.
(Note your typo, the past of lead is led.)
' as I asunder ' might have been clearer as 'set asunder'
---------------------------------
To the best of my ability, I send you strength and the firm knowledge that your well-being has become important to us. Rest well.
Terry
Edited on Jul 01, 12:36 because 'Linux accent'. -
This took me to a very dark place. I felt as if stones were being pressed on my chest, weighing me down as I read it. I even had to take a break from it all. I can not imagine nor would I ever pretend to imagine what you have and are going through, and have done so gracefully. I love it when someone gives me a word challenge. It has been a while. The muses are wonderful. I think today's society of cynicism and disbelief would feel much better if they embraced the unseeable more often.
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My son is called Dale, irrelevent but true.
This is a stunning piece of poetry, the kind that stays with me for a long time. You paint a picture of someone who refuses to give up fighting, which I relate to in a different way.
You give me an image of a ravaged body encasing a fiery soul!
Never give up and I wish you peace and the blessings of God. Who else? -
Gregg, knowing as I do, so much of you and your life, I read so much meaning in this poem.... you, your compassion, your pain, sorrow, happiness, thankfulness...and above all, your love and respect for yourself and your fellow man. You've come to grips with the life bestowed upon you, more so than most of us probably and I, for one, admire you for this and all you do for other HIV/AIDS vistims.
While it's amazing how you could take all these 'words' and develope them into this wonderful poem, even more impressive is the passion and caring that pour forth from this write.
I see the contest ended just a few minutes ago.... I wish you good luck And I thank you for bringing us super poem.
Luv and
Dee
(I forgot that I'm logged on as Granny Goose...aka, catz ...lol But even us old 'goose's' understand what's going on in the world we live in
Edited on Jul 01 because ''. -
Woke me up at 3am
hot damn man...almost reads (to me) like the final rant of a suicidal surgeon. could such things happen to merely one man, and that man still live? indeed, there can never be upon you more than you can take. Superb write, deeply insightful and the imagery astounds. -
This was an amazing write. You did a wonderful job with this. You have a beautiful talent. Keep it up.
~Chelsea~ -
I will not attempt to tell you which part(s) touched me the most, because I could not... This is such an amazing write. Mind boggling deep and emotional. Your use of creative imagery was very intense at times; intriguing really. You have great talent - this is brilliantly done!
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Fantastic
Now I've got a different piece of pie from your table. I sense a desperate man who loves deeply, and in spite of all the questionable styles, there is wonder as if hope is there for you.
And. It sure is. The same one who carved Gregg's hands is the same one whose hands took the nail to forgive for I have seen the perforations and know him personally. He wants love more than our treatise/ He wants surrender more than He does a regard for the law/ He wants dependance and trust more than He wants sacrifice."\
Gregg....awhile back when I was going through something that was draining me, I asked the Lord who manufactured the universe without mistake or mistrial.
"..but Lord, I'm so sad..so tired! What..? What all do you want from me, your chosen one? What?? WHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT?"
And in the quiet but sure voice, He answered in an unaxious whisper , "Everything."
"What I said?".
"Everything". He repeated. "Everything."
How could He...? He's got the world in order, the nature to explain His physical absence. His 1 million constellations that never collide. How could he ask me everything? How?
"Because, with your surrender, I've given you the power" Oh...my. Too much...too much.
What a road. I shall learn.
May the Lord lead you to this certainty and remove the pain of before!Now that you know you have EVERYTHING for those who adore Christ.
I want so much for you, as your heart is greater in the lowest place than some of the sheltered kings in the domain.
Wonderful write, my friend! Wonderful. -
"builds my id for disdain"... I truly loved those two lines. I almost got lost in all the wordiness of the second and third stanzas. I understand, by reading your author comments, that you are attempting to romanticize clinical terminology, but almost felt it over-done in the beginning of the piece. There was so much in way of imagery that they tended to drow each other out. But... sigh... there were those moments, like the one I quoted above, that truly caught my attention... that meant far more than any other bit of intelligent imagery you could have thrown at me, probably because it felt the most personal. I genuinely liked the ending, though thought several other lines in the piece would have worked, as far as strength goes, just as well. However, with the clinical terminology, the fantasy imbedded in the last line seems to create a beautiful contrast that I value. I have to say I enjoyed the piece, got lost in all that wonderful imagery, and am thankful for that
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Ava: It was a pleasure and honor to be included in your list of poets for this series of a contest and to be able to expand on your requirements enabling me to grow as a poet. Gregg
-
Oh this appears to be deeply personal, and I think it brave of you to relay such delicate information about your life with us. I feel almost like an intruder, but I appreciate the glimpse into your life. The wording is very intense, remarkably absorbing storyline and overall a well done piece of poetry. I was impressed that you managed to write such a personal piece, while also describing the nine muses, and using all the words from my list.
Thanks for participating in this contest series.
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this is absolutely brilliant. dude if your not getting paid for poems, you need to be. this was a great peice.
-
Applauding
Wow, this was a very long, and you certainly made the best of the virtual inspiration. But boy am i glad I read the dictionary out of boredome sometimes, because I would not have understood alot of the words in this poem, which ultimately means I would never have gotten what you were relating to the world in this piece. This was a very powerful and a very compelling piece. Your trials are ones of suffering and it is good that you still look high up on life, it shows you have an enduring spirit. Very powerful and masterfully written, Keep up the great writing! -
Lord worthy
This is a great write. Tremendous feat of human penmanship (or in the new age - cyber penmanship). Intriguing and detailed write. All of the imagery gets to me and cuts me thinly into pieces - womb, rebirth! Lovely images that are great to play with and direct a piece at. Tony. -
This is very good! I wish I understood more of the vocabulary, that's all. I hope this isn't you, and I hope you don't have AIDS! But if it is and you do, whatever you do take the pills! I also got the feeling that you and your father have some "issues" as they say. I hope you can heal them. It can be hard to forgive someone, but it can also be the key to your sanity.
Good luck and God bless!
- oce -
TwitterTree: Actually I was trying to use the word languishly and even though is acceptable at some dictionaries wouldn't accept it in this poem's content. To be languishly is to relax in a pose somewhat like actors and actresses and living with HIV I just go through some days of languishly relaxing like my movie idols that I grew up with. Gregg
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stunning
Absolutely, I agree with previous applauders and comments. VERy powerful & wonderful One question: did you mean
"languishing pretend I
am James Dean"
or:
"languishing I pretend I
am James Dean"?
Some of the metaphors are obscure (for me) but the trials of life, the rebirth of spirit and the association of HIV & having your heart ripped open is pretty compelling. Thanks for giving a great example. -
this was a really great poem and i like how you made a poem related to the 9 muses. Good work,
-
good
good job i do agree with Modern Mistress this is beautiful keep up the great work! -
Dear Gregg, this is absolutely brilliant, I am so glad to be a part of his with you, You my friend are a fighter and will be with us for another twenty years or more, that's the best news I've heard, and congratulations on your OP anniversary, that year has gone by so quickly.
Love from your Aussie sister
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this is an amazing poem, both realistic and sad - i heard of you from another poet, -BlackKnight- and i really enjoy reading your stuff. Another guy has been through something like your situation on this website - his name is Josh-13. I advise you to check out his page because he's a really nice guy.
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Dearest Gregg,
There are no words that have been left unsaid,all before me have said it all. This is BEAUTIFUL! Tells so much of your life,that I feel a part of it now. Is there nothing you can't survive? Your strength and ability to overcome such obstacles,leaves me hopeful that there will be a cure in this lifetime. I have lost many in my 35yrs,cancer,heart attacks,along with AIDS and depression....life is a battle. NEVER STOP FIGHTING!
All My Love,Admiration & Friendship,
Deena
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I am without words. Well done
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Linda: I have such a story to tell you. I had forgotten about this contest and then it appeared in my IM and I looked at the photo. And I closed the page. I came back on and looked again. And then I was sent in such a turmoil of emotions: your contest was still in my head and I still have the piece sitting in my briefcase for you if you ever hold another or I will submit it to you privately, but this one came forward and has eaten me for four days now. (I even give you permission to use this one if you feel it is within the theme of your book.) This is just one of those dark transitional writes between roads in life...where questions arise and you ask yourself if the treatment you have chosen is the right one...the medical decisions to keep on living only knowing the end of the story but like my friend told me this afternoon to commerate the first year: You do not know what you will produce in the next twenty years through your today's decisions. And I cried. Greggg
Edited on Jun 30, 7:19 p.m. because ''. -
Wow, this is really intense. You have written a beautiful piece of work here, and you should be very proud.
You have a fascinating poet gift to inspire those who read your words. You use emotion and subtle words to display incredible feeling and depth. I was truly floored when I read this.
Best of luck to you in this contest. You have my vote.
~Liadan -
Rae: I hope I was not sending a rhetoric message. I was just thanking you for stopping by and even though your prefences for shorter poems superceded you to finish this poem that I had penned was heartwarming. Just by leaving a critique that you had visited is a lot more than people leaving and not saying anything. That is what I was thanking you for; that you rose and finished the poem and left a critique. And thank you for the support in the contest. Gregg
Edited on Jun 30, 6:39 p.m. because ''. -
amazing poem concerning your life, quite descriptive. i enjoyed, and when i am in a time of need as such, i call on jesus.
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dianabluelove: That was purposelessly done: the overused clichés is the repetition when you hear platitudes in life, so even though I agree that the juxtaposition is rhetoric, like you have mentioned, I feel it needs to stay as is for the emphasis of the tone of the whole theme of the poem. This cliché that you have noticed is actually a repetition of cringing when you hear heart-warming platitudes and can only love the deliverer for the compassion that is delivered. gregg
Edited on Jun 30, 6:28 p.m. because ''. -
dont get me wrong gregg but i guess im used to like medium lengthy writes but either way good luck in the contest sug
-Rae -
Ayizan: I do not take offensive when a poet relates that a poem is too long for one's liking. I am only glad that at least you stayed long enough to finish it. Gregg
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now this poem is very good but dont think im being offensive when i say this but in my opinion i think this was a bit too long for me but a good read nevertheless
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y2shaggy:
I am hoping that readers will take away certain passages for themselves and can find guidance with these passages. Your critique has shown me that this is so true. A personal passage such as this is now related to another poet in another sense, and it is this reason why I am hoping that instead of taking the whole poem away, poets and public alike will take away what is most profound to them. Thank you for visiting and taking a piece of my history to connect to yours. gregg
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AVIAN: I am hoping that readers will take away certain passages for themselves and can find guidance with these passages. Your critique has shown me that this is so true. A personal passage such as this is now related to another poet in another sense, and it is this reason why I am hoping that instead of taking the whole poem away, poets and public alike will take away what is most profound to them. Thank you for visiting and taking a piece of my history to connect to yours. gregg
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wow....thats all i have to say about this poem...it is a great piece of work full of emotion word choihce and time very well spent.
for the next twenty-six years
he lacerates my sanctuary
rapes my psychological,
emotional, sexual temples
builds my id
for disdain
disintegrates my character
assassinates
hope, life, love
this was by far my favorite part...thank you for sharing with us...god you have talent
with a soul of ice and heart of fire,
y2shaggy -
'and in the beginning
before Glenn and Pat
begot
Dale Gregory:
I have danced –
held the hands
of my anima’s abyss'
These lines made me smile for the bitter irony of it all, and the lines I did not paste here are faint shadows of what I can feel and identify with in your piece. Its really quite unfair and I guess you must suffer a lot of prejudice for what it is that you can't help, and even though you are suffering, that suffering has given rise to a wonderful piece of poetry with I believe should be shared with every one, because what can be learnt here is that HIV is not a gay disease, and those who suffer it are not only often undeserving but also the kindest people you can meet anywhere. Your piece is both touching and powerful and I just hope that your talent will not fade away into the darkness. Its an exquisite testamnet to the suffering of mankind through the hands of fate. Well done.
Avian -
Prolific!
-
Dear Gregg,
Hearty commendation, in fact a Christchurch Standing Ovation (CSO) for the construction of this write, on the foundation of fifteen given words, into a profound message which actually makes good sense in spite of the obscurity of some of its terminology.
By the way, a CSO is the equivalent of an AP GOLD trophy +.
Good luck in the contest. Applause.
Regards, Hugh.
Edited on Jun 30, 5:50 p.m. because ''. -
Powerful poem about your life, so poignant yet also with hope inside- just like your life Keep writing, my friend, this was a wonderful write that only you could have written It shows that, despite the hardships, you have survived and become an amazing poet and person
All the best,
Pozo
PS happy birthday for when it comes
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That's interesting, I had not read the specifications when I commented. Proof you achieved what you were asked to do, in a very real way. Wonderful.
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Babouschka: Thank you images reverberating, if you take a look at the word list that was given to us for the contest, a majority of the words had reverberating within the context of their meaning and a lot of technical terms that I would not normally use in a poem...the challenge here was for me to turn these dry clinical terms into a romantized piece of art. Gregg
Edited on Jun 30, 1:48 p.m. because ''. -
Powerful, powerful.... Images reverberating. Illustrates the detachment of survival. So sad anyone should endure this. x
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This was very painful to read, a very personal piece. It was very different than a lot of poetry in that it seemed to be so clincal. But I suppose that was for a purpose. This piece was filled with so much emotion that I honestly got the feeling that I should not be reading it. It was very brave of you to put it out there. Best wishes.
~Jessica~ -
this poem is truly very remarkable and really very well written as well. i really did enjoy reading what you have to write. i would also like to ssy that i think you are a very talented poet.. and i hope that this one gets published.. you deserve it!
tanya -
Very good. I enjoyed your use of vocabulary. Keep it up.
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Very nice job here! I loved the words you used to describe the great imagery! I know that the piece is good when I can picture what's happening. Great jarb!
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God freakin' damn.....this is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing! You have made me speechless....
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wow. really...wow. this was intresting and you really got your message out. you weren't afraid to use a wide vocabulary either. This was deep and it made me think about...everythign. Excellent job and I hope more people comment on this. It was a little hard to read, but I'm glad I did.
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also speechless....
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This was so beautiful, but soooooo damn long. Anyway, I loved it, it's quite original though I think that "overused cliches" needs some editing: a cliche is overused by definition. Great write anyway, very vivid, descriptive in a good way. I like the way you use those "big words".
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I'm speechless...
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Left in Awe
You know, for the first time in my bloody "out-spokeness" and scrutinizing of things, I can honestly say that I am silenced beyond silence! Abyssal is not even the word to describe the silence, nor is the metaphoric of saying black hole. I am truly overwhelmed with a silence - very intriguing, very intense, and very bloody vivid. It almost carries the weight of a tragedy similar to that of a fallen Hero, but yet, in the same one that contains a fighting hope. Very well written piece! -
I am standing and applauding! Ava this is phenomenal! I am humbled by the exquisite wording, the voice you used in writing this. Absolutely amazing.
Excellent write isn't a stong enough phrase.
~Dee -
amazing, spectacular, one of my very favorites of yours. i love it. obviously its based on an image, but it gives not only new life to the image, but creates new scenes in my mind as well. i really really really like this, great job, keep up the wonderful work! i especially like:
"my backbone existence
are daydreams
experienced by the Lachine Rapids
languishing pretend I
am James Dean
enjoy Mother
as I asunder
my forty six years
of pain and pleasure"
-
Wow, this is spectacular. I love the word choice and the imagery! It's very deep and emotional! I really enjoyed this! One of the best poems I've read to day! Excellent job!
Molly -
Love It
I got to say this is such a Fastinating poem that I read today I really like the imagery and the feeling within this poemWELL DONE!!!Keep on writing and HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!
~*~Mina~*~ -
wow. What an intense poem, very intriguing. I like how you played in your waterfalls, it makes it all the more personal. Great job, and good luck!
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