She's alone in the darkness
but does anyone care
no one even noticed her
she's just a figment of their minds
when she screams
they hear nothing
her eyes swollen with tears
those tears tell secrets
of many years
how shes been forgotten
left behind
her lips gasping for the truth
for the truth was what kept her alive
her razor carving words
the words she wished to hear
silence discovered her first
slitting her throat
Author notes
I'm not sure what this exactly about
option 16
Written June 29th, 2005
A contest entry
- ~~~PREWRITE CONTEST~~~ by phoenixonfire.
300 points, ended August 3, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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painful and hits the feelings on the eye...amazingly worded with simplicity....
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this one i realli like.
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thank you very much.
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ooo dark I like
lol awsome write yet again i like thee slittng at the end, finnishes it over very nicely. i really like this again i cant thank yo enough for entering the contest
i know ive flet like this before... only with out the cutting part but like no one noticed me and i was just to be alone.... and no one would care... wnderful job on this
pinky -
of many years
hows shes been forgotten
left behind
thought hows might not have needed the "s" on the end o.o ?
Loved the ending, i am a fan of beautiful
rhyming myself, yet the endings mean much
more. Yes, silence.... is deadly.
*~.::|Temptress of Night
|::.~*
Edited on Sep 28, 5:04 p.m. because 'Silence is Golden, therefore i sit with massive Wealth'. -
wow a friend of mine recently attempted suicied by slitting his throat ans this really is a great write full of teh darkness i was looking for good luck and thans for entering
*fiona* -
This was an interesting poem. I think that a lot of people will be able to relate to this. Great job. I enjoyed reading it.
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oooo morbid poem!! ahhhh why did you have to put the slitting part in
so close.....and now we have another cutting poem on our blood-stained hands, lol! But nevertheless, a good write.
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Thank you so much for your thoughts on my poem. I really enjoyed this one of yours. I relate so well to it.
'her eyes swollen with tears
those tears tell secrets
of so many years'
This is my favorite part, i mean as of some recent events every tear feels like im crying for every moment in my life were i had felt pain. eighteen years that's a lot of pain and a lot of tears.
keep up the great writing.
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AWESOME!
awww agian that was sad but very deep it had nice flow and rhythm i really think this is great i think i am going to aplaud it good work
-tiger -
This remindes me... of me... when I use to write like this. When I was going through that part of my life. Anyway. Very nice write. Packed with emotion. I would say that maybe some punctuation might help the flow. Nicely done. Keep it up! Oh, and I love the title! ~Prettyinblack ♥
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Wow this is awesome I love it... The emotion in it was very deep and very intense. Anyways keep up the great work...
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hmmm morbid. I like it. Lately ive lost my tast for anything that has razors involved. But none the less this is a good work so keep it up
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Thanks for the comment, your poem rocks, and you have talent yourself keep up the good work
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cool dude! nice job. very dark! keep up the goodness. IM me later im bored.
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I lurv it Linds..it's MAGICAL hahahahhaha lol awesome job keep up da great work
♥LoReNzO!
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