CALLED ON WATCH
Eight bells sound
On deck we bound
They're handing out the work.
The weather's thick
And some feel sick
But still we must not shirk.
With runny nose
And frozen toes
We listen to the list.
We strain to hear
And answer clear
No orders must be missed.
Who goes up aloft
Who gets it soft
Who holystones the deck?
Who patches sails
Who buffs the rails
Upon this benighted wreck?
When each task's given
To our stations we're driven
By the bosun and his mate.
If our pace is slow
We'll feel a blow
That is the sailor's fate.
There's sailors here
Who find no cheer
In this daily stress and strife.
But I'm not one of those
This is the path I chose.
I love the sailor's life.
Author notes
Written June 29th, 2005
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Thanks for your comments genielassie. It was written as a piece describing how a section (or watch) of the ship's crew were allocated tasks by the mate at the start of their turn of duty (also called a watch!). The good jobs and the bad.
Jim S -
Thanks for the comment Kevin.
I have found a Project Guttenberg version of the book you mention and will have a good look soon. On first glance it does not seem to fit in with this piece written as a plaint which was intended as a "forebitter" as it has no pull points which would be needed for a true shanty.
Jim S -
Hi Robin.
Thanks for the comments. I use the term benighted as meaning morally ignorant and not a nocturnal reference. Up aloft (and down below) are standard maritime phrases and the tautology is accepted. As for the other two points I appreciate they would work but it would sound like affectation when I read it. I don't talk in that, admittedly more poetic, phrasing.
Thanks for the suggestions any way. They keep me on my toes.
Jim -
This rings like a string of limericks, though I am pretty sure they aren't in the exact structure of one they sure give the effect of them well enough. Excellent write and excellent structre for your words. Best wishes adn
s... ~genielassie~
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Splendid stuff! A hint of Kipling and Masefield there, I think. Rhyme-scheme very well handled, capturing the cant and bumble of a ship's deck. Do you know Norman Lindsay's "Ther Magic Pudding"? That has a number of \chantys from "The Salt Junk Sarah." I recommend.
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Splendid rhyme and rhythm Jimbo
Just a few little criticisms.
I don't think the tasks you are describing would be going on in the middle of the night (benighted wreck).
I would drop "up" from up aloft to better flow, and I'd drop "but" in the 3rd last line, and "is the" in the penultimate one.
Otherwise, exceptional.
BTW, I learned a new word, holystone - thanks.
R
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Thanks for the comments Rebeka but a mermaid's kiss!
Any sailor unlucky enough to kiss a mermaid quickly end up in Davy Jones Locker. Am I that bad?
Jim S -
what a salty dog you are to write such! this is wonderful, worthy of a mermaids kiss! bravo!
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