Cracked and faded in the sun,
sported emblems lose their hue,
unretired and weather-torn.
Exposure to the elements betrays
emotional and mental negligence
to burning disregard for heritage.
Bumper stickers age too soon;
paper pride is left to wane,
cracked and faded in the sun
on well-kept pickup trucks and long sedans
beside some slogan spouting malcontent;
emotional and mental negligence
flies atop the roofs of cars—
sooty clown-ears deeply stained,
unretired and weather-torn.
Support is shown as mere velleity,
a symbol posted like an afterthought
beside some slogan spouting malcontent,
just another brittle sign
taking on a dirty tinge,
cracked and faded in the sun.
What shone for Francis Key one failing night
is treated now like any corporate logo,
a symbol posted like an afterthought.
Freedom flails on autumn winds,
half-remembered, growing pale,
unretired and weather-torn.
Abandoned to an apathy’s pollution,
the dream Old Glory strives to represent
is treated now like any corporate logo.
Banners rip on plastic stands,
unsaluted dawn to dusk,
cracked and faded in the sun,
unretired and weather-torn.
As mildew rots the fabric of the States,
exposure to the elements betrays
the dream Old Glory strives to represent
to burning disregard for heritage.
Author notes
to learn more about the hybridanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/1086828/all=1
Written June 23rd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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Hmm this is a good piece to share for the Fourth of July. It's a good time to be reminded how we should show our respect to our flag which is a very important symbol for us as a nation. Indeed, I see a lot of these pictures these days, it is either a testimony of our ignorance or as you put it our "mental negligence" on how to treat our national colors, or the "burning disregard" that the current generation has for this great symbol of our forefather's patriotism.
I've told you I've never been fond of poetry forms, until I've read your works. I don't know, but somehow the different forms I've encountered through your works have created impact in me in terms of how I got to appreciate the message of each piece better. This is one of those experiences.
I'm just curious why the lines are laid out that way. Knowing you (as if I really know you haha), I'm sure there is a science, or should I say, art behind it lol.
I really liked this, Z. Thanks for sharing it.
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I try to find ways for poetic forms to mesh with content. When I discover a match between content and form, the effect can be striking.
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I share your sentiment about the prevalent disrespect on what is supposed to be a national symbol of freedom. I guess this is a universal occurrence, and I won't be surprised if the biggest incidence for this is in countries where democracy is enjoyed. What an irony indeed. I guess this is one of the sad rewards of freedom. Those who have always tasted it, grasp its meaning less. Freedom is one of those things which true essence is best understood and valued when you lose it.
You have a very strong ending here:
As mildew rots the fabric of the States,
exposure to the elements betrays
the dream Old Glory strives to represent
to burning disregard for heritage.
And it's so very true. In a way, we cannot also blame many of us for not fully understanding what our flags truly represent. We grew up in a generation where our national flag is largely if not totally associated with the government--a system that many of us, all over the world, believe to be the reason rather than the solution to our hardships. It represents a lot of negative things: inefficiency, corruption, arrogance, imperialism, and all those rottenness which certainly are the least things that we are ready to accord respect.
Certainly, this is a wonderful and strongly written piece. It's not the subject that I'm used to reading from you, and I'm happy to see a different side of you here. I remember I was into this kind of topics 12-15 years ago, but it doesn't fail to touch the "patriotic" hiding in me now. It will always be here.
This entire piece paints a very sad but real picture that I'm sure freedom fighters from any nation would cry to see. This stanza stands out to me:
Freedom flails on autumn winds,
half-remembered, growing pale,
unretired and weather-torn.
I'll never want to see my freedom that way. And not many realize that that is what we do every time we do it our flag.
You set a highly combustible part of me afire with this. I loved it.
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I'm really glad this poem has meaning to you, Morning. And I really appreciate the time and energy you've put into your carefully thought out reply.
Yes, I agree, it does seem to be a human tendency to become complacent. And Americans have reached a point of complacency that may cost them the freedom their forefathers fought so hard to obtain for them.
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Fantastic!
This is absolutely fantastic....I really can't put into words how much this means to me not only as an American but also as a very strong believer in what this country represents. The Americans that are dying over there everyday reminds me that it is not costless. People do tend to think that the symbol of our flag is a play-pretty for their vehicles. Fantastic write and one of my favorites yet....
KAY -
What a cute little squabble.
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i've always been taught that the flag represents what america stands for, so to defile the symbol of a thing is to express a disregard for that same thing.
all i really know is that seeing the flag flaunted about in various states of decay seems indicative of a very sad state of affairs... pride without understanding. indeed, kind of the way people have pride in their home team at the ball game. maybe it's all just a game afterall. lol -
well... of if it offers any consolation i like this poem... there is always room for improvement... and that's true in everything... nothing can be perfect... because someone can always find a flaw.... even the most flawless dimond has it's small impurities.... but I like this poem... and i have a question. Has the flag really changed since Francis Keys? I mean maybe it had a little merit... but America has always been corporate.... The flag was just as meaningless to the world as it now is too us... but aren't most flags? Germany isn't patriotic. Not like us. They have pride but their not constantly waving thier flag in our face (except of course for sporting events but way way different.) and there are never flag burnings (well that i'm aware of... there have been i'm sure ... but not as recent and well heard of) in the rest of the world, where it's the countries populace burning the flag, commiting treason by using an effige and maybe not a effige that's like a fake bush doll or something, but using deep symbology....
just wondering.... would like your opinion... i mean after all ... you have more of a voice in this goverment then i do.....
but back to your poem... i really like it.. i'm slowly seeing the whole hybridanelle pattern... but still not completely getting it... if you have a messenger like aol or yahoo... i would love for you to try to explain it... but only if you want to.. i understand you have a life... as do i... what ever... i'm just really eager to learn....
Emily -
well i took a stab at giving you some pointers on how you could improve the quality of your critiques... but, as they say, it's kind of a waste to cast your pearls before the swine. it would seem you're at a stage where it's more important for you to puff up your ego by attempting to sound knowledgeable and important than it is for you to take the time to learn about the craft enough to have something truly constructive to offer.
Edited on Aug 02, 7:59 because ''. -
"Sludge hammer" is very funny. I assume it was accidental instead of being just plain ignorance. Or it may have been whimsy.
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i gave you the link because it's grammatically proper and repeats fewer words, which was your "critique" on the other poem. so, demonstrating that my style is variable. these hybridanelles are project poems--i do what i can with the form as a means of self-training.
now, let's take one of your statements this time around:
"The poem's OK, it's just stupidly laid out and could achieve its effect in half the words with a bit more care and skill."
this is actually much improved over your previous comments all by itself. it can be improved further if you were to change "just stupidly laid out" to, say, "laid out in a way that doesn't work for me" (which is what you really mean to say, since "stupidly" in this sense is an opinion, not a rule that is universally applicable to every reader on earth).
also, when you say "a bit more care and skill", you might expound on that, try to describe just what sort of care and skill you're talking about. this poem is exceptionally tight, so it will require thought and effort to get into this. you'll also want to know about english prosody, i mean really know it, before you'll be able to talk about the metrical or end-line structure of this poem.
it's easy to knock things down, difficult to offer ideas for improvement. knocking things down is just a matter of swinging a sludge hammer. offering ideas for improvement means actually learning and presenting information about floor plans and architecture.
Edited on Aug 02, 8:02 because ''. -
Jesus wept. You ASKED me to read this. I didn't fucking volunteer! It's OK, it's not rubbish. It's just nothing special. Who cares about your silly ugly American flag? What's the fixation? The poem's OK, it's just stupidly laid out and could achieve its effect in half the words with a bit more care and skill. Your crap about pedantry is irrelevant and silly. Let's forget the whole thing. You can now savage one of my poems on a related theme: allpoetry.com/poem/1056817. Feel free to be savage.
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lol -- giving up would be the wise thing to do
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no worries if you don't like my work. preferences are always different. this is to be expected. however, you're approach to expressing such dislike is quite abrasive and non-constructive, taking on a particularly pedantic pose. such a pose is generally struck to mask one's own sense of inferiority and/or illegitimacy.
cary on m'dear, there is much for you to find here that will suite your peculiarly educated sense of "literacy". ROTFLMAO -
No, it is the task of the literate person to complain about illiteracy and ignorance. For one: "who's" is not the same as "whose". Progeny? I give up. Who the fuck cares iff mowest peeple are friggin ignorfantz cuz I dne caire, wotthe fuk
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the target audience for this poem is the more educated type. it is grammatically concrete, complete with capped words at the beginnings of proper sentences, no repeated words (except in the refrains which are part of the form).
but, it is the job of the pedant to pedantically pick apart any piece of poetry from a poet who's position is different than her or his own, and then call the pedantic pickings "a preference for literacy".
like i said, i used to be a hard-core pedant, too, and i wasn't kidding. i've lightened up a bit since then, and now have fun with my apparent progeny.
Edited on Aug 01, 7:12 p.m. because ''. -
You have referred me to this......I assume because you want me to comment on it for its faults...... I dislike many of the slang words: pickups, sedans etc.
Some words are either freaky or non-existant: velleity? (Just a teeny-weeny bit archaic!!!!!!) And who is Francis Key? And I believe "Old Glory" refers to the American flag but this is of zero interest to the rest of humanity. So what is it all about Alfie?
The whole thing seems very parochial and suburban and pathetic, a bit like the stupid common trash who shove a St George's Cross flag on their downmarket Fords when the yobbo English football scum are playing their ugly games. -
Hey whats up. Well i really like this peace. Its very good. Well comment back.
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I sat here and thought about all the meanings this could possibly have.
I found a few, one of which how our flags are consistently left out in the weather. It seems like you might view that as something offensive. Which really makes sense, but at the same time this could be something much more political that I don’t know anything about simply because I choose not to follow politics. In a way it seems that you find our government soiled and rotting away the way that our flags do from being outdoors.
At the same time it seems to me that it could portray how in becoming an American all of the prior heritage is ignored, and blatantly forgotten. At the same time past heritage not even really replaced with something else that we truly respect or we as a whole would care for it much more.
Really, I’m not even sure what to think of this. I like it because it is interestingly written, but the content mildly eludes me just because it could be quite a few different things. -
Aside from the form of this near perfectly structured poem, the subject of it is quite viable, though sad.
When I was young, our flag was revered by most. Raised at dawn, lowered at day's end, and folded gently and put away until next morning. Now, so very often I see them left up until they're long past their prime, faded and ripped, dangling listlessly . This saddens me, I was raised to respect the tradition and what our flag symbolises. But you know... somehow, no matter how battered our flag may become, for me it's beauty shines through, still making me proud and thankful to be an American.
The metaphores in your poem deliver the message all too well, the negligence and indiference which is so prominent in today's society.
An excellent write, Erin
Dee
Edited on Jul 12, 7:42 p.m. because ''. -
incredible! i love the whole post-consumer patriotism going on in this poem. like america was just another pro ball team in the NATO division. deep thoughts, hopefully they'll drip down into deep hearts.
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nicely done; very well handled despite the slight sensitivity of the topic you've tackled. I love how its not preachy or trite or in your face, and that I can relate to it despite being Canadian. well done!
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I see where you're coming from. Everyone is always going on about "Go USA", but it's more like an afterthought. Patriotism is a habit instead of a practice. Great write. You have me researching hybridanelles. Thanks, you've piqued my interest. That hasn't happened in a while.
~Nicole -
cool
blown away. Totally amazing. Its political in one sense but its not being super political like many band sare trying to do these days. Tremendous job -
Sooo true. All you see anymore is cars with patriotic things on them and people with patriotic things in their yards. What's sad is that it takes tragedy for all of us to become patriotic and before 9/11 not too many people really showed patriotism and now it's almost like some people are doing it "just because." Great writer! I enjoyed this poem.
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Well done. Amazing job.
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This was an ammazing write. Your word choice, the imagery, the structure were all exceptional, and that is not a word that I throw around lightly. This took my breath away. Very, very well done
Edited on Jul 03, 5:02 p.m. because ''. -
This is an amazing poem. It's full of vivid imagery and is a good poem for this time of year. I hope it makes some people think as it has me.
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I like this poem and must say not everyone is flying the flag as a afterthought because of the work of men and women who serve I am sure their fam like my own fly the flag with pride. I like your piece and hope it makes people think about this on the fouth of July. May you have a good holiday and I applaud your efforts on this poem. May your god bless you.
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nice job, i'm almost speachless. thats awesome. wow. NICE JOB!!!!!wow! lol! keep up the good work please ~ stephani - aka - KiaRose
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Banners rip on plastic stands,
unsaluted dawn to dusk,
cracked and faded in the sun,
unretired and weather-torn
So very right you are. You create an awesome light to show us the way to your words...good imagery here! I love your write! Keep up the good work! -
Bezoar: you've got it exactly right. and, i love you, too, jennabird.
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i think the content is rather controversial and would probably better understand if i where an american citizen. the actual form of the poem was really great really tightly structured and flows so well throughout. a brilliant write all in all. Stella.
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I see something of an influence of Auden here. The style I mean. It was wonderful. Well done!
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Woah. Wow. I'm kinda, stunned.
This was, really..good. Lol. I know that sounds redundant, but I really don't know what else to say. I like to try and make my comments unique and pertaning to just that person, but hell, that was just good.
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You are quite right! -
I've told you already that I don't think this is your best hybridanelle and that this poem would probably work better in another form, but after studying it and reading the comments you have received, I take that back... not the part about it not being your best hybridanelle, but the form does suit the subject. I'm coming to understand that "burning" the flag is a metaphor not so much a statement. When someone slights you in american slang "you got burned" I think this is what your title means. Do correct me if I am wrong. I'm very proud of you to spend so much time and research into developing this wonderful piece.
Love you.
Jenna -
mah: you want everything in one small little highly structured poem. lol
yes it is a good idea to indicate precisely what it is the american flag is intended to represent... but i think the constitution and its amendments beat me to it.
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ecrivain: there are some AP members who tend to feature my project poems. i know who one is, but i don't know who the rest are. if you look through my non-project poems (poems that aren't hybridanelles, villanelles, or terzanelles), you'll find that those are less frequently visited.
i don't know... it's quite a thing. i just sort of hold my breath and hope things continue going on this general progressive curve. -
very sublty emotive and definately appropriate for the time...well written!
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one other thing myself id rather read this poem at christmas it seems a little to easy of a promotional toool to put it here now,kind of like when kelly clarkson sang a momment like this when she won that one contest you know any way it is good to make people have to think about what is wrong here you know that part i do like
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are you a fan of soad seems unlikely but all this talk of malcontent makes me wonder good idea yes the image og our flag has been cheapened it was a little hard to read what with all the big words {trying to impress} keep it simple man just a suggestion i want to enjoy reading not have to think or run for the dictionary i like the part about how its like a corporate logo but i seem to recall hearing that somewhere before maybe micheal moore
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Heya
This was extremely well written and that shows with all the applauses! Your subject was a very good one to write about...to me it seems to show how much people don't care and things seem to be fading away. I need to click on your link thingy to understand fully though I guess, and I don't live in America! but still this was great, your description was amazing and I liked how you repeated some lines throughout.
Love,
Elizabeth
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flag waving
I think that "Burning the Flag" is a misleading title for this poem. Nothing in this poem is about burning the flag, but it suggests that there are people that do burn the flag and that they are ungreatful and unpatriotic people. There is little in the poem to suggest why the flag is important and should be saluted, but it brands and blames people for not caring and not behaving respectfully toward it. Blind faith and blind patriotism should always be explained carefully.
Edited on Jul 04, 10:33 p.m. because ''. -
i have to say one more thing! YOU MAKE ME SICK HOW YOU HAVE SOOOOO MANY PEOPLE THAT APPLAUD YOUR WORK!!!!!!!!!!! I AMM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JEALOUS! MAN,........ HOW DO YOU DO IT????? HELP ,ME NOT BE SOOO NOT JEALOUS! LOL!
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man man man this was sooooooooooooo .........................
AWESOME! good job and i am just wondering! how are your poems sooso popular???????? im gonna cry@!!!!!!! -
of course it is an other unbelieveable amazing poem from you!!! excellent work
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How do you manage to get so many people to read your poems? Hardly anybody reads mine.
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wow you have an amazing gift here....i love how you repeat lines ...usually i find that annoying but here i find that very well worded...its a new sense of poetry for me..very inspiring i must say...good job keep it up
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so many great lines "Abandoned to an apathy’s pollution" that line was perfect i must say, i was captured on every single word.. i really dont know what else to say cause I would just keep quoting it, awesome job
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Wow what a wonderful poem to read this holiday weekend. Thank you so much for sharing this heartfelt poem. God Bless America. Take care, Sandy
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Oh if only the simple act of putting a bumper sticker on the back of our vehicles made us, without any additionaly thought or effort on our part, all which that bumper sticker implied or spoke of . . .
While it is our country's birthday and I'd really prefer to focus on what is good about our country during these next few days, I suppose it's as good a time as any to take a good long look at what ails us as a nation. Apathy and its sibling Neglect are certainly among the major symptoms and you expose them here with some wonderful analogy and masterful phrasing. I particularly liked:
Freedom flails on autumn winds and
As mildew rots the fabric of the States
both of which served double duty.
Though the forms are nothing alike, reading this reminded me of Cat Steven's "Cat's in the Cradle" - another haunting commentary of society today.
Bravo! -
This was a great poem I like the repeated line disregard for heritage good job
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Sublime. It feels so despondant, so overwhelmingly desperate. Its as if the world has lost all hope in the narrators eyes. I love your use of the alternate end line schemes as in your column, breaks it up a bit and brings it perfectly into line with the thematics in that sense of fragmentedness. excellent range of language and phrase complexity, some wonderfully chosen images. The flag image as a whole is often overused, but you have added a certain subtlety to it that gives it new life, such as the image in the last stanza "As mildew rots the fabric of the States". As always, I am impressed by the form itself, and in particular your knack for choosing those crucial lines that have to repeat, and working them into the fabric of the poem seamlessly, something I can never quite manage in a form that defined . some image high points in "sooty clown-ears deeply stained" and "paper pride is left to wane". I also liked the variation in line length in the stanza pairs, gives it a sense of disparity. Masterfully constructed, some quite metaphysical imagery and political undertones give it a certain something that invites one to pull back the curtain and see who is really pulling the strings.
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cool poem!
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tupac: this poem makes use of some relatives of rhyme. you might enjoy reading this article, as it may help you understand some of what it is you like about this poem: allpoetry.com/Column/1052394
Edited on Jul 02, 4:57 because ''. -
Fantastic poem
I am struggling to understand why i like this so much as i am a slut for rhyme lol, but i just love this poem. Well done
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This is a very sad and clever statement, I don't live in America but a counties Flag is important to the collective pride where ever you live. Well said!
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Sigh... I hear ya.
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impressive
very nice. i've never read anything like this before, so it was refreshing. impressive. -
painfully true
OMG
this is very good
I am using my very last applaud of the day on your poem
because i believe that this correctly and truthfully identifies us americans, because we may be americans, born and raised, but its the unity of the country that gives the name meaning -
Very Well Done.
This poem is really well done- it is full of meaning and symbolism beyond just the flag. The state of the state paralleled with the disintegration off the flag and societal virtues and values- that is very strong imagery. The corporatisation of every aspect of American life- has cheapened so much that had great and deeper meaning. You make your statement well!!! -
oops forgot to applaud. here it is now.
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Interesting. I thought this poem was going to be about flag burning. But the poet communicated his/her contempt for the wanton flag neglect around his/her country, which seems to be just as disprepectful to the flag as flag burning would be.
The meter of this poem is very flowing and effective as well.
I'm applauding only for the artistic merit. I am not making a political statement with this applaud. -
people should be who they are with out putting so much "pride" in cloth .....
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i really really like this... it's quite well written, with brilliant imagry. i love it. keep up the good work!
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Wow excellent. I like it alot. The way it is layered really caught my eye. A very interesting layout. Excellent job. Keep up the good work
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This is such a great poem! I haven't looked at that site yet, but I'm sure you got the form right. It's so full of passion and vivid words. Nice and stylish. I loved it!!!
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Very very good point. Wow, this was great.
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WOOT WOOT
Edited on Jun 30, 9:18 because ''. -
Can't say more than what the others have already said.
Nice write about a timely topic. -
patriotic and clear
Wow! This is so good and you are so right. We plaster stickers and logos of the American flag everywhere, but less than a third of us show up to vote,and even fewer take care of our homes and families. Our country is only as strong as the families living on it's land and the freedom that we choose to have. Thanks for sharing this poem is close to my heart as I'm sure it is to others. I think I shall give you applause!!!!!!!!!! -
Very well said and sadly so very true. This is one of those poems that say exactly what you couldn't find the words to say... so much better than I could ever say it. Flying the flag these days isn't about patriotism, it's done simply because its the "in" thing to do, and it's sickening. I'd love to paste this to the foreheads of those riding around with the flag stickers... you know, the one's who can't be bothered to go out and vote.
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This is absolutely amazing. My father is a WWII veteran and he is appauled by the number of people posting flags everywhere in total disregard of how a flag should be properly flown. He was once asked by someone why he did not fly a flag outside of his home and his reply was:
"I fought to keep that flag safe and flying and if I can not fly her properly, I've too much respect for her to fly her at all !" You go dad!!!
Anyway, the image of him saying that came to my mind when I read the truths you've posted here. Way to go!!
Ruth -
The beauty of this poem isn't just the content, but the eloquent and emotional way you've expressed yourself. We have taken the "emotion" and pride out of our children. We've let "Coca-Cola" "Nike" and all the rest become our gods. We've let ourselves get caught up and divided in so many "causes" that we forget to unite ourselves under the flag of this great country. I chose my citizenship here, unlike so many of my friends who take theirs for granted. When I see children at parades waiving flags, it tugs at my heart. When I see men and women in miltary uniform, it also tugs at my heart. The flag is more than just coloured fabric- it is the symbol of America's heart. Let's not break that heart with disrespect, and neglect. Beautiful poem and cheers for the renewed sense of pride and poignant words regarding Old Glory. x
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p.s. ... 'expandwhatyousee' ... would you elaborate on that asinine comment?
the flag represents your ability to say ridiculous things, so you should at least be proud of it for that, because i can assure you... no one wants to hear it
come back when you're all grown up and re-read
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p.s. ... 'expandwhatyousee' ... would you elaborate on that asinine comment?
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this poem is a nice patriotic write, but i enjoyed the social aspect... the subtle anger towards society for their loss of respect for our flag... the sadness of the flag becoming 'old hat' is sadly what the war has become for some... kids are still dying, women are still losing husbands, and husbands-wives... 'old slogan' is a perfect description erin...
also, i was never quite sure what the format (just the line style-spacing, etc.) was about... but in this poem, it clearly is to symbolize the waving of the flag....
i feel like i should get a smack for saying this, but the word 'roof' just doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem... i tried to think of alternates and came up with only these :
(flies atop the roofs of cars)
flies atop an imported car (showing how we choose import vs. american made)
flies atop a gypsy cab (whose driver is an illegal alien)
shoot me erin... how dare i even make suggestions... me being intellectually bankrupt and all... forgive me! -
like the story cuz i understand
i find it funny -
As always your work is amazing. It always shows how much time and effort you put into each of your poems, making sure the meaning is clear and language is precise.
I think I am a bit guilty of having a faded flag, I'll admit. It serves as a reminded to me though, of all the men and women who serve to keep it bright. I have a many around my house, each one holds a great meaning to me.
Once again, I like your poem. Keep it up, but there is no question you don’t need me to tell you that.
Anna Goose
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A really great poem and it really made me think again how we stick things up,never bother to even read them and then tear them down.A great poem on an unusual subject which is quite thought provoking! Looking forward to readin more.
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Well said
Some might find this write to be critical , and so they should. I find this to be a sad commentary on our way of life. It is nothing more than a symbol, but this is how we treat all symbols in our country. We mock, defame and disgrace most of what we stand for. Where are our morals, where do we take a stand? It took less than a day after 9/11 for the first joke to appear on the web. Same with the shuttle disaster.
Sad.
Peace,
Ed -
Great job. Loved the structure and it was deep. Perfect view on the society today. As soon as we get tired of the reasons we have to celebrate our freedoms, we just stop. *sigh* Very sad, in my opinion. Anyway, keep writin'!
~lil princess~ -
This reminded me a bit of the post-nuclear world of A Canticle for Leibowitz. The world lost control of what it was doing, nuked itself, and civilization was basically returned to what it had been thousands of years before--dirt port and having to start all over again, with no knowledge what had happened all those years before. The way things are going now, I wouldn't be surprised to see civilization undergo the same treatment it did in the book, or, just as bad, slowly decline in moral decay. The latter has already started, and it seems this moral decay of society has begun to show, not just mentally, in the form of apathy, but physically as well, causing the very Earth we live on to change around us, and not for the better at all. You showed this quite well, if that's what you were hoping to achieve. If not, and I'm wrong, then I apologize for having commented here. Still, the piece itself was well-written and well-spoken.
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I think you are right. It's really sad that we have come to this.
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This is reslly acurate to the way things are. It's a pretty bold issue that you are bring up. I really like the truths that this poem expresses about our American society today. After Sept. 11th people were lined up outside of flag shops, but now that the excitement has faded many are back to how they were before flags sitting on rusted poles, neglected.
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this is truly great-really brings a variety of emotions..and makes the reader think. I really like the way this poem flowed...and the words you chose to use. There were no flaws that I could find in this piece-great job! I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
Amanda -
this is a very good poem, it reminds me so much of things that have been going on at my house lately. my dad flies a flag outside our house, but when i asked him to take it down out of the elements he refused, saying he was keeping it up for the soldiers in Iraq. i just think that it is wrong to mistreat the flag this way. excellent, excellent job on this poem!
**Gace** -
this represents what it should, its not loud and ignorent, althouh it is contraversial...
i heard a strange local folk band a while back (not my taste in music but they were there)
one song caught my attention
"your american flag decal wont get you into heaven anymore, there already overcrowded from your dirty little war, jesus dont like killing dont matteer what its for"
it was a cathy song, and this piece reminded me of that
i have to agree with you on this subject, or flag no longer represents freedom and courage, and justice,
only greed power and corprate gain remains between the tatterd red and white lines
americas on sale
great write -
You are an awesome writer! I can tell that this poem has a lot of your emotion in it. Reading this poem helped me realize another side of the burning flag situation. I still dont know how i feel about it, because i agree with you in a lot of ways. Awesome Job. I would love for you to read some of my poems and give me some tips!(if you have anytime)I am kinda new to this ~ Kels ~
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Really great write you have here. I like the structure, and the feeling in this. It is sad how often Old Glory is neglected..
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This is a really deep poem which was well written Fantastic write, well put together and deep
All the best,
Keep writing,
Pozo
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Great work you have done here, this poem is great n' it shows that you have seemed to really put alot of thought and work into it, you are a very talented writer and I think that this is one of the best poems that I have read so far on this site..Keep up the good work!
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ecrivain: i think it just up and dies... it seems to me that liberty and education are like hands and feet. you're just crippled if you're missing your hands or your feet.
thanks for your kind words.
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I forgot to add that one of the reasons I enjoy reading your poems is that when you use a word which is rather obscure, such as velleity, you use it correctly. So many times, on here, I see poems with lots of big words thrown in which are used incorrectly and sometimes even misspelled. It is painful to read things like that, and rather discouraging as well. After all, people are buying fewer books every year, and becoming closer and closer to illiterate. It's not just sad, it's frightening. What happens to liberty when the populace can no longer read?
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Another good piece, though I'm beginning to expect that from you.
Even a Brit like me can understand the feeling that went into this. We, as a nation, do not revere the Union Flag in the same way as America reveres the Stars and Stripes but I personally loathe the way it has become a mere advertising gimmick or adjunct to some hooligan's anti social rampage in support of sport. How much worse it must be to see all those tatty remnants of a proud image displayed in the ways you so clearly describe. Velleity sums it up well although it took me a while (and 3 dictionaries) to find the meaning of the word!
Jim S -
ditto.
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I prefer the statue of liberty. The flag suggests war to me, and though our nation was born of war, it seems that we are also able to find ourselves in almost every war that comes along. Often supplying one or all sides. So I prefer Miss Liberty, but I agree with your sentiment. I took down my Oklahoma flag because it was faded. When I can afford another, I may put it up. I hang Miss Liberty proudly and wish we had more of it.
Andy -
I liked liked this. Very well thought out theme...well daid and well written. I barely noticed it was partially a vilanelle until the last few stanzas. It stood out a little toward the end. Very well constructed piece of work. Very honest, too.
Cheers,
Yossarian -
Nice poem indeed, but here in South Africa we burn flags as a symbol of rejuvenation.We burn the old Republican flag because it symbolised oppression and segregation, but now we have a flag that represents everybody.
Great poem
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