She’s scarring herself again, this time she doesn’t
Have to pull down her sleeves and
Pretend she has a reason to hurt herself so badly
No
She’s doing it with apathy
And how many times did you have to tell her
That she would destroy everything beautiful in her life?
It’s not that she can’t see what she’s doing
More that she’s so afraid she’ll lose him
-She’s willing to go to extremes
He’s some sort of maladroit
And he knows exactly how to exploit that
Trading comfort and affection for
Rejection and
Introspection
She could be beautiful some day
When she grows up to realize that
-What’s inside really does count
Author notes
Yet again, I would like you to tear this apart for me. Tell me what I can improve on.
This is the first "semi-decent" poem I've written in a long, long time.
Written June 28th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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loved it
I always find myself reading a poem several times before actually writing something...I usually don't write cause I'm thinking to myself, 'what does this mean to me?' ... i tend to enjoy most poetry as long as it is well intentioned and made with love...
I saw the introspection, I enjoyed the spacing (it helped)...
as for form and content, I have no suggestions to change,
I enjoyed the outbreak of thoughts that it streamed into my head...
as for my personal opinion, the angsty feeling you're representing here strikes me deep as it is a mentality I am seemingly succeptible to...love is strange, but isn't hate too?
Its just a question of which one you would like to feel more often.
peaces
Chris -
about a year ago, whenever I posted something I would get immediate responses from various people... most of them actual critiques.
I still critique people's poetry, why don't -you-.
this site is dying.
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