I looked into your pale blue eyes,
and I saw that you were not there.
You left me all alone, to face the fragile world.
Without a care for those who loved you,
you fell so sound asleep.
The pills did just what you asked them;
they took away the pain you thought you owned..
My selfish little girl.
For all those times I watched you cry..
For all those times I turned a deaf ear..
I never thought it would come to this.
I never thought you would leave me here.
For all the mistakes I made.
For all the mistakes I am no longer aware of..
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for you.
Sorry that I couldn't do more for you.
Now you're gone, and I am alone...
My selfish little girl..
Author notes
This is a sad song I wrote...I think it works as a poem as well...=-)
Written June 27th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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You are amazing award
This is amazing. I love it. Keep up the greatness!
looked into your pale blue eyes,
and I saw that you were not there.
You left me all alone, to face the fragile world.
Without a care for those who loved you,
you fell so sound asleep.
The pills did just what you asked them;
they took away the pain you thought you owned..
My selfish little girl.
For all those times I watched you cry..
For all those times I turned a deaf ear..
I never thought it would come to this.
I never thought you would leave me here.
For all the mistakes I made.
For all the mistakes I am no longer aware of..
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for you.
Sorry that I couldn't do more for you.
Now you're gone, and I am alone...
My selfish little girl..
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very sad. am unsure of wether or not its personal..if so, sorry about your loss. nice job with writing this. was worth the read.
Blu -
heartwrenching
How sad! And I believe there will be alot of ppl that will be able to relate to this. Having a teenage son myself I sure do. You do what you think is best and try to guide them but some don't listen. There is many a Mother out there whose heart is broken everyday.Perhaps not by this extreme, but none the less broken by their children's bad choices that you know will lead to no good. Also no matter how you try the guilt that you could have done more lingers. I felt this poem with every fiber of my being. Jacki -
pretty good!
This is pretty good. The only problem I have with it is in some of the punctuation. I felt there were periods that were superfluous from time to time. I also felt that it was a little too short to accurately convey what you said to its fullest capacity. I guess that's a lot of criticism, huh?
But all in all I liked it, and I wish you further luck in poetry. I think you have talent.
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i really like that, and i can understand what the "little girl" was going through and you also
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raw
Indeed sad and your sad feelings came through your words.
Glad to know you didn't go through this. A very strong write.
All the best,
Amanda -
beautifully sad
this is so full of emotion and pain. it's very sad :'(
keep up the great work.
I hope this wasn't based on a true event, because it must be so painful to go through something like this.
great poem thou! -
so beautiful
This is very sad! :'( BUt It's soo beautiful.. This would make an amazing song.. I know it was intended as such.. but it makes an amazing set of lyrics! -
that is depressing. good write though
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No, this is definitely not autobiographical. I just like to put myself into situations that I haven;t necessarily experienced. I did have a friend attempt to commit suicide, and I just remember feeling angry, and very sad all at the same time, that maybe something more could have been done.
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::Applause::
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harder, better, faster, stronger. ~daft punk
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very very sad, I don't know, it's so personal I am almost afraid to comment, it's very well written, I don't know why but I thought of the song Beautiful boy by John Lennon when I read it, this was good!
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w00t!!
I actually cried.... yeah i know im a big baby but it was so beautiful and sad
simply lovely
You did an awesome job!!!
~~Trouble~~ -
that was a great yet sad and thoughtful poem
it shows that the people who are left behind
suffer more than the one who died. -
Since it seems the problem in the poem may have been the selfishness of the other person, the irony in the title and in the repeat lines is striking. Probably not all the fault of that individual, but sounds like that one should suffer anyway.
Hope this isn't autobiographical.
Do you have a link to hear the song?
Andy -
excellent
Way to go, I am going to comment on your poems, unlike some people mumbles to herself This poem is excellent and could be none other than that. Please continue writing and have a wonderful day!
P.S. Would applaud, but I am all out! -
it;s acoustice right now, haven't made any attempt to make it any other way. thanks so much for taking the time to read it, I really appreciate it, and I'll return the favor.
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very well written, made me want to cry, so yes you did the emotion into it.
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this was very sad...but i liked the "my selfish little girl" part b/c people that commit suicide are very selfish. this sounds like a beautiful song...acoustic right? it could pass as a metal song tho. or emo. whatever style, it would sound great.
awesome job
<3 sarah ann <3 -
very sad write. very good song to be specific. i love the direct brevity of this. it really makes it more powerful and effective. great write overall. great work, take care, and keep it up.
-Mick- -
The title captured me and brought me in, and the actual poem was definately not dissapointing. Powerful words kept me reading, and slot of emotion was poured into it, i can tell. It was a great peice to read. Keep it up!
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hmmmm...i read this...and it immediately reminded me of one i had written called...Now we can both be free...
everyone pays the price of suicide...it's anything but victimless...this saddened me
UB
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I'm not renowned for my brevity, but that was simply awesome.
Edited on Aug 02, 1:05 because 'I am illiterate'. -
It is good either way poem or song, you really brought out the emotions and it caught your readers attention i love that in a poet!
Samaria
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