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Contingency

 

I met a man who knew rivers,
rivers seeded along  shores in young dawns,
         shadowed by a sphinx,
         winding through seven hills,
         spotted with levees on the delta in the south.
He knew rivers, rivers different yet the same,
          coaxed into submission
          bounded by silent meanders,
          braced to yoke and dam.
They were different, he and the rivers,
         yet the same,
         for he was bound and brown
         and so were the rivers.

I met a man who knows rivers,
         rivers, muddy, slow, fickle,
         seeded along shores in an older dawn,
         flickering in the shadows of a flaming cross,
         flowing between concrete ghettos.
They were different, the man and the rivers,
         yet the same,
         bound and brown.

The man I know,  knows rivers.

Author notes

A reply to "A Negro Speaks of Rivers" by Langston Hughesl
oldpoetry.com/opoem/15977

Written February 14th, 2000

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • penchanted
    February 11

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    Beautiful

    I am speecless and deeply moved by this piece. I hunger for talent such as yours. It took me back to a past relationship, remembering him was gift today. And I thank you for that.


  • waydownuponjoy
    March 11, 2008

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    Excellent use ...

    of metaphor and of thoughts that need exposure. You have handled this subject well and have written a poem that shows a most thoughtful way of revealing. Loved it. joy


  • grass
    April 23, 2007

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    Contrary to Pariah, I really like this. The language was radical and your imagery was stunning. You've got a powerful and cool piece on your hands. I can understand using another poem to get out of a rut. It seems like you stayed straight on topic, which isn't someting I can ever seem to do. I think that the idea of using another poem is to use it simply as a boost though, not a theme. I don't know though. I'm no master. Regardless, I really like this and I'll toss it into the prelims. We'll see what you can do without help.


  • lie
    April 20, 2007

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    Hmmm, I'm more a fan of being yourself in poetry; not taking or getting inspired directly and purposefully from other poets.
    I do like the structure; it was animated and yet unique at the same time. The evolution through the piece was fantastic, and the ending was perfect. it summed up the poem without leaving it a cliffhanger and/or somewhat empty.
    Overall, the only reason why I'm not really liking this is because of the aforementioned taking the idea from another poem.
    Thank you for the entry.


  • Child of Water
    March 20, 2007
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    You should be very proud of this piece, it is one of the most memorable and delicately powerful poems this site holds. It is deeply touching, written so well it hardly comes across as a prose and more like a great journey through our worlds trangressions, evils and shames.
    Thank you for entering. Best wishes.

  • Child of Water
    March 2, 2007

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    Lol...I remember this poem from moonlit's compassion contest and I was in love with it then, as I am now. I will comment on it better once I judge.
    Best wishes


  • Moonlit-Reveries
    February 10, 2007
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    I love this! I agree that your style is excellent and that it was a powerful pleasant read all throughout.
    I love how you used the metaphor of rivers flowing through different areas to represent all of the people living here.

    Thanks for sharing this. Best of luck in my contest.

  • Child of Water
    February 7, 2007

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    Wow. I can see why this poem has already won two trophies. You write with an uncommon professionalism, this is something I can imagine reading in a poetry anthology.
    I like this line the most "bound and brown". It says so much in those three words. People of any colour are always hindered in some way, whether from others or their own disbelief in themselves and yet as a race, we are all chained in some way by those who wish to shame us into submission.
    I am humbled by your talent. Thank you for sharing this with us and I wish you the best.


    • mamad gold member
      February 9, 2007
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      Thank you for your kind comment on Contingency. This poem is one of my favorite writes. It always pleases me when someone likes this poem. Thank you again.


  • Vernal Bloom
    February 7, 2007
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    Such a shining poem you penned. I am so glad to check this page. With no doubt it was one of you’re the best. I see you also won two trophies on it. Oh your poem deserve it for sure. Good luck auntie with the third contest and I’m sure you are going to win the third trophy on this one.

    ~Massy~


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    February 5, 2007
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    What an incredibly poignant poem. I am visiting via a link and am so grateful to have met this poem. It has all the beauty of the faces I have seen in the cities, on the reserves; those older salt-of-the earth wise men who so many miss. Bravo!


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 13, 2007

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    A great winner in this contest - nice to win another trophy with the same poem. That's where its great to be able to use prewrites in these contests. Congratulations.


  • dark desire
    August 18, 2006
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    This is very strong and the detail sets the imagry just right. The flow of this poem is as the flow of a river, you did a awsome job on that. Keep writing, sometimes it is the only thing we have for that moment.
    ~pixie~


  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    July 5, 2006
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    In or out of the contest a great poem. I am glad I read this one.
    Thank You
    Jim


  • funpum
    June 28, 2006
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    Dear mamad, thank you for entering my contest. This is a fantastic poem, the imagery is brilliant. thoughtful, precise and evocative, and the subject is one worth thinking about. Unfortunately it does not comply with the (I admit extremely strict) rules I set - otherwise it would be very very strong contender. Thank you also for making me go and have a look at the Langston Hughes original. I'll be in to look at your other poems soon. Hope you'll enter another of my competitions in the future. Funpum

  • mamad gold member
    May 7, 2006
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    Thank you for the gold trophy!!!! I have found that my poetry does not do well in contests on this site. I have been told that my work is too melancholy and dark. It is most gratifying to see that someone thinks of this poem and insightful. Thank you for your kind comments on my poem. This is one of my favorite pieces. Thank you again for the win!!
    Edited on May 07, 6:48 p.m. because ''.


  • malkinpuss
    May 7, 2006
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    I found this to be an intelligent and creatively written piece that demonstrates to me, a poet true to her craft. The shifts in time, used as comparisons was a very effective tool and alludes to so much more in regard to man's inhumanity to man. I couldn't help but think, we think we are so new so modern but reflecting on history we haven't changed all that much. The pendulum of life swings surely and steadily. This verse I thought quite brilliant:

    met a man who knows rivers,
    rivers, muddy, slow, fickle,
    seeded along shores in an older dawn,
    flickering in the shadows of a flaming cross,
    flowing between concrete ghettos.
    They were different, the man and the rivers,
    yet the same,
    bound and brown.

    Indeed the repitition was very effective and pulled me into that feeling of history and life repeating itself. Bravo!!!

  • mamad gold member
    May 3, 2006
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    The shift from the past to the present tense was deliberate. The Egyptian slave, the Roman slave, the pre-Civil War slave, and the black man who now lives in the ghetto who is still a slave to prejudice. Thank you for reading the poem and commenting.

  • mamad gold member
    May 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The shift from the past to the present tense was deliberate. The Egyptian slave, the Roman slave, the pre-Civil War slave, and the black man who now lives in the ghetto who is still a slave to prejudice. Thank you for reading the poem and commenting.

  • ea silver member
    May 3, 2006
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    yes, I figured it was deliberate just by the control of the writing alone -- I was only trying to come to my own interpretation.

  • mamad gold member
    May 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The shift from the past to the present tense was deliberate. The Egyptian slave, the Roman slave, the pre-Civil War slave, and the black man who now lives in the ghetto who is still a slave to prejudice. Thank you for reading the poem and commenting.


  • knitonepearlone
    May 3, 2006
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    This is such a soulful poem,brilliant imagery and absolute gem.

  • ea silver member
    May 3, 2006
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    I like this but I wonder why the shift from knew to knows? Maybe it will dawn on me soon. It is an intriguing write; I felt compelled to read it several times.


  • malkinpuss
    May 3, 2006
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    Wow, Pure power in this write. Thank you for entering!!!!


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    October 8, 2005
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    Now THIS is perfect poetry

    This is such a powerful work there is nothing I could say that could offer it as much praise as it does all by itself. This poem comes from the heart of understanding and from a mind that thinks.
    An exquisite and impressive work. I have throroughly enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing it. ~Pam


  • shiftyweasel
    July 2, 2005
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    The repetition of "I met a man who knew rivers" is incredibly effective. And the descriptions of the rivers just sort of carry the reader away.

    Thank you,
    Cypress

  • ecrivain01
    July 2, 2005
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    This is a unique poem. I can't say that I've ever seen one just like this. It's a good poem, and the story it tells is remarkable too. All in all, good job.


  • SimpleSarcasm
    June 29, 2005
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    Excellent

    This is a marvelous piece of writing. The first strophe just blew me away, wonderful and descriptive. Very deep and thought provoking, I usually get lost if a poem is too long. This is longer than I usually like BUT it kept my interest and I enjoyed the read all the way through. --I know a man who knows rivers-- is abolutely wonderful.

    ~Dee


  • TillyMay
    June 24, 2005
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    No apologies needed, I'd say. This is beautiful and sad. There are all sorts of rivers in this world, and I suppose one must learn to navigate them, or be caught up in a current and dragged away from the original destination...or worse, pulled under completely. This is an interesting and image-filled poem. I like the metaphor. Nicely done.

1 - 29 of 29