There is no light
or dark here,
just faceless meaning
washed in monotony.
Utter clarity
trickles and weeps,
falling down
porcelain skin.
Without cold
or air,
deplete and barren,
echoes die--
A virgin ascension
to heights of non existence,
mundane
yet ethereal.
No feeling at all,
no will,
no meaning,
just a ceiling
emptied of stars.
Author notes
Written June 23rd, 2005 while in a Vicodin induced haze.
In a list
- ♥ Aspirations (others' work) • next in list
- Hollow Journeys and Wayward Sentiments • next in list
- remnants • next in list
A contest entry
- No Rules..Does it get any better? by So Called Chaos.
300 points, ended March 5, 2006, 32 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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You are a reincarnation of Plath i say! I envy you so much! Three applauses for the mood, the tone, and overall effect of this poem.
There is no light
or dark here,
just faceless meaning
washed in monotony.
This introduction takes its part in pulling in the reader. You read only to want more. At least, That is how i felt.
Lots of Philia,
Amadeus D.Thoures
-
Brilliant
I really think that this is brilliant. What a fantastic piece and simply beautifully linked to Tori's fantastic "Choirgirl Hotel" with it's mentions of ascension and virginity. True true talent that should not be on All Poetry but on the pages of the world's most brilliant books of poetry. Anthony. -
Nice Job.
I really love the overall mood here, very convincing.
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The ending reminds me of "Child" by Plath, the same worthless view of life (life being worthless, not the point of view). I'm not sure if I've ever read something so depressing, it just seems to suck me down to wherever that girl in your background is going.
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A lot of people have commented here...about various parts of this...but....this
A virgin ascension
to heights of non existence,
mundane
yet ethereal.
made me smile.. it is all and nothing.. perfect potential, and perfect failure all in a point of nothing.. which exists between all things which have description...
Well deserved win..
~~Lisa/whims -
Strong opening and closing verses wrap up this piece with a feel of combined heaviness and a floating nothingness inside.
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inspiring ... beautiful
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wow... this was awesome.
i liked it alot...
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Congratulations on the gold! Definately a great piece!
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CONGRATULATIONS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Hugs, Patricia ♥
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You are welcome for the inspiration. Thank you for doing such a good job with it! I liked the haunting inamge this detailed. This is what I would expect Limbo to be like. Loved the ending line about the starless sky. This IS emptiness...
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Wow, loved this!
"Just a ceiling
empty of stars"
Wonderful. -
An interesting meditation on the absence of things. I don't know if this style is typical of you, but the writing is very clean, by which I mean, it is stripped of anything extraneous, which suits the subject very well. Nicely done.
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Oh you go girl! Again another excellent write.
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This I gotta do:
No feeling at all,
no will,
no meaning,
just a ceiling
emptied of stars.
I'd love to copy and paste it to my bare, white walls and to the ceiling and look at that lovely, delectable verse all day...It SOOO fits with how I am feeling right now....This is very good. The buildup to the perfect ending.
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i like the last two lines. this was a very "make-you-think" poem. nice descriptions.
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thanks
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perfect ending! i think you did a wonderful job playing with the inspiration of zero. this interpretation is unique and memorable. you have wonderful imagery...beauttiful!
alissia -
hehehe
I'm not familiar with portishead, but Axelle sure likes em.
she says this did remind her of them so I believe you I guess..tee hee.
thanks
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don't you love the background?
lol anywho.
Love love this poem. Ok so it was worth staying up at 1 a.m. like you said very worth. And well yeah, zero will make me think of this poem now, forever. Or perhaps not. but I think you expressed the emptiness quite well.. and weirdly enough... powerfully. Well nur... zero makes me think of billy corgan, but that's not an easy topic matter to write about lol. Ok whatever. The most gorgeous part of this were teh last two verses. Anyways, amazing piece as usual
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Nice thought and nicely portraied. Wish you good luck!
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I hope to hear your poetry someday...I bet these words would be awesome on a track...fo'get Portishead...
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Oh, I do love this! I agree that this is STUNNING! Hugs, Patricia
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i GOTTA ADMIT!!, THIS IS A STUNNING PIECE OF WRITING...GOOD LUCK WITH THE CONTEST.
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i like your view you put on "zero" it is surely diffent from what i would of done! you have shown me that with a lil hard work and effort even one word can be created into a wonderful poem. great job...keep up the great work!
Y2Shaggy
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it is not meant to portray pain, just a state of unbeing, of nonexistence.
thanks for reading. -
this poem hurts. its good but so deep in pain.
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INteresting write,very empty and unqiue.I love it.keep writing.
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A wonderful interpretation of zero this is a fantastic write I love the form you have used as well you have really created a feeling of emptiness so well done. Love2u Stella.
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Interesting take on the topic for the contest. Some really nice vocabulary choices are applied in this poem. Good luck in the contest, I'd say you have some potential. Keep it up.
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