Looking down the steel blue-
Raped by fate of a one act play.
Fear is ultimate, the end of you-
The curtain call of your last day.
Squirming, reafirming lost faith-
Biting bullets of lessons unlearned.
Seconds like years, fleeing in haste-
Incessant burning, life now turned.
Gunshots ring throughout the sky-
Fallen man, with pride intact.
Blood stained street, of passers by-
In his chalk their respect did lack.
Lies his deathbed of Armante suit-
Code of the street was his demise.
Bullet-proof ego, begged to shoot-
Lack of respect in dollar whore eyes.
\
Author notes
Don't become a whore of the almighty dollar, because in the end you have to pay the man.
This was written to touch upon respect or the lack of it.
option..imagery,emotion, and metaphors
Trophies to date..36
Written June 23rd, 2005
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1 - 5 of 5
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Wow, I'm really impressed by this. I really have no words. Very thought provoking and not a write I'll easily forget. Your rhyming...Wow. Flawless, it's very hard to rhyme like that and you did it perfectly. The flow was amazing, like water down a river
I really enjoyed this. You did a good job, love the ending. Thank you for following the rules. Thanks for entering and best of luck in my contest!
~Lana
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I love how you have laced this poem with a message that all should read and find wisdom within. That "dollar" has ruined many lives. We must first learn to respect ourselves, then and only then can we learn to respect others. The mixture of the two evils (money and sex), that can grab hold of us, and inable us to move out of a bad place is a wonderful metaphor, although all too real. Excellent musing here! Thank you so much for the time spent to enter my challenge. Your skill does not allow for me to wish you luck, you truly don't need it!
Much Love,
Renee
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awesome poem...it flowed really good and your words were perfect...nice job...i really liked this....good job and cant wait for another poem....keep up the good work...you are very good
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Wow Muddy, this almost reminds me of a rap song. My mom used to say "money is the sorce of all evil." But I have since decided it's money or sex, not knowing which one is worse. Good write.
Red -
Richard,
This really struck up as a personal favorite to me. I am an avid fan of obscurity and hidden messages. This reminds me of Tori Amos' style... presonal and vibrant. I loved it!
- Justin... the kid with one nip
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