I used to think of Paradise as standing on a beach
With coconuts as big as soccer balls in palms just out of reach
The sunset glazed the sky a mix from yellow to red
A balmy breeze, the oceans score, a hammock for my bed
But Time has changed me and I long for this no more
I found that the love of family is the tune that I crave for
And the folly of paradise, the perfection of an untouched shore
is that if anyone ever goes there its not paradise anymore
Author notes
Written June 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Paradise City by Kari.
300 points, ended June 10, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I so agree. That is what Paradise City is all about. Very well done and thanks for your entry.
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very very much the soul of a poet
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Wow, Paul! You have done great with this! Such vivid images flowed from your pen with these words. You truly have a gift and you use it very well. I'm just in awe of your sheer talent. Great job with this!
Hugs
Jess -
Oh, see now I'm thinking... For me... Paradise wouldn't be a beach, or a single place where you have everything you could possibly need to live, for me Paradise would be... sheesh, I dont know, I'll have to think more.
Anyways, Very good poem, I like rhyme, heh, so Bravo -
Very nice write. Paradise is different for different people. For me, paradise is all a matter of heart. A beautiful beach shore is just a plus if it comes into the picture at some point and for me, from time to time it will. People and family are very high on my priority list so, I would have to agree with this piece. I'm glad you found your paradise, I am on my way in a few days to find mine.
Be Well and Be Blessed.
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excellent read
I know where you are coming from with this emotion...there are times in my life when I think anything or anywhere different to where I am at the moment of thinking it is paradise, but really paradise is under our nose all the time, our life and our family...without them there would be no paradise, I love this poem and pleased I was able to visit and read it...Lilac -
Wow this poem is really mind blowing. It makes you think, that everything that you maybe working for, your paradise, may be the only thing you need. And not actually some beach that is perfect. Because in a world like this what is perfect? Amazing Job!
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Mmmm Paradise is hard to decipher. A message, something for freedom. Well written and insightful. Tony.
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Reminded me of Hood's "I remember, I remember". This was well written
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the last two lines seem grammarically incorrect to me...but I'm not exactly sure how to say it correctly. "untouched shore
is that if anyone ever goes there its not paradise anymore" To me it sounds like a run-on sentence maybe. If I where you I would just separate somewhere...just a suggestion though good poem other than the confusing ending. -
i love the way you have written this there is a sharp contrast. Family are more valuable than anything i hanve learnt this lately. a beautiful write.
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This is a very nice write. Expresses a nice paradox and a nice perspective in very few words without losing any of the description.
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True, what you said in the ending, Paradise is only perfect because it is untouched by man. When we think of Paradise, most people think of some island somewhere. But even if that were Paradise, it wouldn't last long, the real Paradise is exactly what you said, the love of others, which will never fade away.
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hmmm realyl beautiful...I liek how you went form a materialistic paradise to an emotional one..how paradise is in the heart not the head or the eye's or the touch..you make this love beautiful and tangable...wow...you hare amazing!! I hope that you continue to write!! I 'll have to look into more of your work..wow..great job!!!
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