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My paradise isn't yours.

My paradise isn’t yours.

It’s not a star-lit meadow
With fireflies lulling you to sleep
Their soft Arial dancing,
Courting each dew-drop that reflects
Their glow

It’s not a snowy-sanded coastline,
With the sun slowly dipping into the Mediterranean
Making the sky sad for the loss,
And bleeding deep colors from
the wound.

It’s not a tranquil, shady bed
At the foot of a wizened oak
Standing hundreds of years in silence,
But ready to whisper if
You listened

It’s not the foot of the waterfall,
Where when you close your eyes
The mist anoints you
And the current washes away
Your ache

And it’s not the peak of the mountain,
The hawk cry, in the distance,
The chill air and mist trying their best
To obscure your view of all the world
And failing.

My paradise, you see, cannot be yours-
It IS you.
People are my mountain, they are my shade,
They are the tide that washes away my fatigue
They are the sun and the delicate acrobats
Spinning around in a dark void
And making it glow.

Author notes


Written February 23rd, 2002

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Runawaytrain
    July 30, 2005
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    Thanks for entering.

  • Rambler
    June 26, 2005
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    Perceptive

    This reminds me of some words in Jimi Hendrix's song If 6 Were 9.

    "If the mountains fell in the sea, let it be, it ain't me. Cause' I got my own world to live through and I ain't gonna copy you."

    Many people much older than you don't realize that their paradise can't be someone elses. You're ahead of the game.


  • HotelCalifornia
    June 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    :)

    ooh i like this. it's interesting, as i was reading i thought the ending was going to be completely different-- like, idk more of a break-up/angry vibe... but it's cool that the ending completely contradicted what i was thinking, because that means it's totally not predictable. the title was great, it made me click. and i'm in a silly mood right now so i apologize for the scatter-brained comment. you seem like an interesting person, so i can't wait to read more of your work!
    Edited on Jun 26, 2:56 p.m. because 'i forgot an apostrophe.'.


  • Sandygram
    June 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    WONDERFUL POEM

    This was a wonderful poem, and it was a pleasures to read. Thank you for sharing. Terrific write. And thank you for commenting on my poem, Robin And Marian. I really did appreciated it. Take care and have a nice day, Sandy


  • thecaptain
    June 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    special

    very good how nice it would be for all of the good people to have world unity and live together in paradise. you really got my attention with the name of this one so great job


  • kjd
    June 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderfully written; our own place is our paradise; well done! APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!


  • -LizBTropez-
    June 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Everyone SHOULD have their own paradise, as we all have different likes and dislikes.
    You name off some other people's paradises in wonderful detail, though you don't find them ideal you still capture their appeal and beauty.
    The ending is a different twist indeed, very lovely as well. I only wish I could meet the people you know because you make them all seem so great with your comparisons... however I fear I'm not quite as appreciative of people Ah but I do enjoy this poem!
    I didn't spell check anything but I would suggest you do so just in case I find dictionary.com far more useful and accurate than this site's spell check.
    Good luck in the contest!

1 - 7 of 7