Listen all you children
Listen all you children to what the wise man says.
Remember the words of wisdom through the coming days.
Always talk to strangers they tell such a marvellous story.
Who cares that their hands are so very red and gory.
Harken to the stranger and do just what he begs.
It might be nice to feel his hands upon your legs.
And if he puts his hands on you and says he wants to play.
Don't be a Silly-Billy and start to run away.
If he offers you a lift in his crummy little van.
You must say "yes please" to the funny little man.
And if he takes you home to see his precious cat.
Don't forget to tell him how much you would like that.
And when you're in his house and he wants to try some tricks.
Pretend you are a pin-cushion enjoying all the pricks.
And if he wants you, to try his brand new scissors
You should say why not, they only cause little fissures.
Yes listen to the stranger and do just what he bids.
You'll have a better time than all the other kids.
If you want an experience that you'll remember all your days.
Listen all you children to what the wise man says.
Author notes
This caused a great controversy for people who happily accept wrist slashing sex and death but couldn't understand that this was NOT SERIOUS.
As if anybody with a tenth of a brain could imagine it was meant in earnest.
It's just for fun folks. Just for fun
Written June 20th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- lucus a non lucendo by KevinDunn.
300 points, ended January 3, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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I like this
I can't imagine how stupid one must be to assume you were serious.
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One must never underestimate the ability of people to miss the obvious
Jim
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You are so brave, or just have a secret death wish
I was reading and waiting for the part where you'd say something like 'grab the scissors and stab the nuts'. You didn't lol -
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There was no death wish simply a desire to expose the double standards being paraded on this site at that time by people who could not differentiate between reality and irony.
Where it was perfectly acceptable to write about mutiliation, abuse and self-harm as long as it was done in full foul mouthed clarity. You would be amazed at how many people mis-interpreted this piece. -
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Yes, I got that, read some of the comments and that was I joked!!! about 'death wish'.
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I should have realised that.
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<
Thanks for yout kind comment and clear clapping Annie. I got into a lot of hot water over this poem as you may have seen in some of the comments.
Let's hope it is a bit better recieved this time round.
Jim -
Brilliant
Very dark humour here. Brilliant and original as well. Love the flow and the imagery that you put in this. Foreboding, dark - yet funny at the same time. Keep writing.
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Thank you for persevering with this one.
I read your comment with dismay as I obviously had not thought the matter through properly. Thanks for the obvious effort you made in writing your reply.
I tried to make it so OTT that it would not be seen as anything other than nonsense whilst at the time keeping to the theme. I believe it is the only poem I have published that is Adult related and is categorised as such here to keep it away from children.
I should have remembered that adults used to be kids!
As you are probably in a better position to judge than I am, I will be guided by your wishes and will delete it if you think fit.
I apologise for any distress I have caused.
Jim
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P.S. this is the first time i have told anyone but my husband [ and the police } this so be kind when you return a comment... and please don't send it back to my site.
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frightening
Dear ILR, I read this and I can see why you did it - however I must tell you that as someone who was as a child raped and abused (not by a family member) it made one of my eyes first of all twitch incredibly badly [ nothing I could do to stop it ] and also made my heart pound and I felt really odd and sick. One in six children is abused and I'm not sure a child would actually understand the message in this poem - if they are savvy enough they will know not to go anyway, if they are innocent then they will not understand it. I had to go away for a couple of hours before I could come back. I'm not upset with you and i enjoy your poems but somehow to me this is one of the few subject best not dealt with in a lighthearted manner - Funpum -
This poem was actually written specially for a competition. It had to be humorous and contain the words scissors / children / run / remember. As in the phrase remember children never run with scissors! That is why they are highlighted within the poem.
The reference for the competition is
allpoetry.com/Contest/133812 5
Obviously it is reverse psychology type stuff. Written so over-the-top that no one could believe that I was advocating anything but the opposite, and yet I was reported to the mods!!
This poem competition was set by a ninth grade student! and I was told it had to be in the adult section.
The author's comment does, I hope, make it clear that this is comedy. Sort of Adams family in poetry. However it seems that people do not read the author's comments and prefer to make up their own reasons why the author writes.
It is not deliberate parody as the style and setting were made up as I went along. It is hyperbole perhaps, tongue-in-cheek certainly.
Jim S -
When I was reading this, I was like "Please don't tell me this is serious"
Would you call this a parody? On the usual opposie that people tell? Or not?
As a poem it is quite good, I can see why people take it seriously, but at least it is not.
*Walks away very relieved* -
Thanks for the comments and generous applause.
I got into hot water with the moderators over this poem. They thought I was being serious
and that's why it is my only a(so called) adult poem.
Jim S -
LOL...I love the cynical sarcasm/warning in this line.."Yes listen to the stranger and do just what he bids.
You'll have a better time than all the other kids."
An excellent piece to be sure..very nicely done Sir
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Thanks Don. I'm glad it struck a chord with someone instead of ringing alarm bells. Thanks for looking at my other stuff too.
Jim S -
Ha, I can remember from when i was a kid like the time i stuck my fingers in the spokes of my bike my mom at first felt sorry for me but when i did it the second time she said, thats it, do it again, "fool". this was really good Jim. Sorry others don't see the message. keep writing those everyday ryhmes....love them. - Don
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Thanks for the comment Leo although it still works on a lot of the kids I teach. However it was the "adults" that complained. I suppose you can't please all of the people all of the time in this PC world we live in.
Jim S -
It's a shame in today's society that some people just can't take a joke. I understand totally what this is all about. Unfortunately I don't think that 'reverse psychology' works on today's younger generation.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
ps. Thanks again for reading and commenting on my work. -
Thanks for your comments Red.
It's only chilling if you take it seriously. As you said the contest is about reverse advice. Stuff that is so obviously wrong the right message is reinforced.
BTW despite my nom-de-plume rhyming isn't everything. I just find it works for me as I am sure your stuff works for you.
I'll have a look when I've done my homework!!! (see comments above this one).
Jim S -
Jim --
I did read your authors comments and I also read the contest rules before I came and made a comment. And in neither did I see an indication of advise on the contrary.
Secondly, I still suggest you put this in the adult category, it has been ticketed.
As for responding to other comments, it is fully allowed by site policy and I have not said nor done anything that is against site policy.
Thank you.
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Is that called damming with faint praise Robin?
At least I got the scissors in there as the organiser asked for.
Jim S -
Thanks for your comments Silverwingz. Glad you like it.
I think it would take a really gullible person to take this seriously though.
Jim S -
Thanks for your comments. I agree it is a shame when good intentions are misread but that's the society we live in.
Some people have misread my poem as advocating violence to children. It does not!
As for your comment on the inteligence of writers of Dark poetry I am afraid that in General the opposite applies. Not always but usually I find the level of inteligence is clear from the way they express their thoughts.
Jim S
Edited on Jun 23, 4:58 p.m. because ''. -
September Faith your comments on my work are welcome but I would have preferred you to read all of what I wrote here. Author comments are there for a purpose. This is my first "dark piece" and was written to highlight the perils of stranger danger. The contest was called "Run with Scissors" and it was supposed to give conrary advice.
And BTW please do not comment on the other commentors. Send them an IM. I cannot be held responsible for their comments so it is not fair to argue here.
Jim S -
Thanks for the comment Kryspin and I have already started my homework but I might give it to the dog to eat before Sunday.
Jim S -
First off, something as horrid as this, should be in the adult category. You know there are children on this site, and this is not something they need to have access to. What this poem alludes to is terrible...
"Harken to the stranger and do just what he begs.
It might be nice to feel his hands upon your legs.
And if he puts his hands on you and says he wants to play.
Don't be a silly girl and start to run away."
What kind of sick crap are you writing here? Inferring that a child, a female child should allow a man, a stranger to take her to his home and have sex, rape or touch her in anyway is cause for castration. A person who encourages this behavior is as guilty as if he had done the act himself. This is crude and undeniably, written by a very sick mind.
Some subject should not be thrown into a contst of this sort.
Cristina -
I think "fissures" and "scissors" is the least tenuous forced rhyme I've heard, however, that apart, it's a charming little piece Jimbo
R. -
Kind of reverse advice for children though it's kind of chilling it's well written. Love the rhyme I can't do that to save my soul...so you probably won't like my work.
Red -
that is an awsome poem... not a good one for little gulibble kids. but it is a good poem. it was well written.
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Frikkin awesome
even if it was just for fun, it has a cute and funny message. i like dark poems as well, they're always more enlightening and usually written by those of higher intelligence.
i liked:
If he offers you a lift in his crummy little van.
You must say "yes please" to the funny little man.
That's hilarious. I've offered ppl rides in my lil 92 celica, ppl look at me like i'm insane or just some psycho poor kid trying to kidnap them lol! it's fun -
follow me blindly as I pipe this tune.....
I liked this write and best o luck in the contest!
PS: do your homework
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Haha.. sorry but that write was kinda funny!!!... awesome write although!!!.. i really like how you are kind of instructing the girl on what she should do .. but your being evil about it!!!... awesome job!!!!.. good luck in the contest... i think im gonna enter something... but i know its definatly not better then yours..
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Thanks for reading my work Lonely C. It is not a typical offering but it was fun to write. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jim S -
I'm glad you thought it worth a comment MBH. I hope I managed to keep within the rules in a genre I normally avoid.
I hope you get some good entries (but not too good!) to achieve the contest you hoped for.
Jim S -
Thanks for the comment darkworld4ever. It took me some time to move my tongue out of my cheek after writing this but I think it fits the contest and it was good to write to someone else's muse.
I'm glad that someone enjoyed it.
I usually steer clear of the darkside (of AP not "the force") but occasionally you need to try something if only to highlight the opposites.
I look forward to seeing your entry for this contest.
Jim S -
This is dark humor..lol I like it alot...it's entertaining and creative..nice job
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LOL! This was funny in a dark sort of way. I like this one alot, thanks for entering my contest! Awesome write!
~Yuki~
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This might win the contest. lol I might enter too but I need to think of something. Good job even though I know you don't mean it.
-Megan, MK, Dark
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